Monday, February 22, 2010

huh?

We had over 2 feet of snow on the ground and I just found two fleas on one cat and one on the dog. (it's been 30 days since i've used frontline) What the hell?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Lonely girl

I have several posts that I haven't released. Some funny, some worried, some mad.

My muscle-bound friend. (we will call her meg) I'm worried about her. She's lonely. Has been lonely for a long time. (Did I mention her husband is an asshole?) Here's what is going on with her.

1. Is not interested in the same things as before. We used to watch LOST. We were total geeks about that show. Went to her house on opening night and she spent the whole night texting through the episode. (rule #1...no talking, texting or coming into the room while we watch LOST) I didn't even bother going to her house on the second episode and she missed it. I assume she missed episode 3 also.

2. On the intervention night she told us she wanted a friend with benefits. This friend was referred to as a Fuck Buddy the rest of the night.

3. She has been trying to hook up with a muscle guy our friend knows. Meg has been bombed on all occasions (he is a bartender) . This fuck buddy has not worked out. She can't stop working out btw.

4. Found out that Meg has a fuck buddy. He's 21 and looks like a contestant on that slimy show "the jersey shore" She does sexting with him (she's 41) and they have over 500 texts between them. She gets mad when he doesn't text back.

5. Is hanging out with the low class people. Yes, I'm being nasty about the social classes, but trash is trash. It has nothing to do with money.

6. Will not go anywhere without her stupid ass phone. I had her over for dinner and she brought the phone to the dinner table. Who the fuck does that? Manners? She told me she is lonely and needs a male friend (i did not know about the 21yr old) What is wrong with hanging out with her old friends? We are always here. Why does she need male validation?

7. Her ex-husband. He has a permit to carry a concealed weapon. He carries this weapon in bars. He ran into her loser-class muscle friends (was nice to them) and had to leave the bar because he might of lost his temper (very short one) and shot one of them. Oh, and he could give a shit about their child.

That's why I'm worried.

Monday, February 01, 2010

5. If the spatula has food on it, do NOT put it back unwashed. (babe)
6. What is left on the den floor will be thrown away starting now. At the rate you children are going, you wan't be able to play "Battleship" by the end of the week.

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