Lemons

I have a lot of them right now. I'm thinking about how to make lemonade.

I lost my job. I am shocked I lost my job. A 20+ year employee lost his job the same day I did.

I was given reasons. They didn't make sense. I kept asking the Office Manager questions. She finally could only say (again and again) I'm sorry I have to do this. She gave me three reasons before the sorry lines.

He didn't like the way I did the bank deposits (huh, how many ways are there to do that) I had to much work backed up on my desk ("s, my bins are empty, what work) and that he didn't feel confident in my abilities. What abilities. I didn't get to do "anything" really. I've been there five months. Honestly I had just got how everything really worked and went together. When I tried to make improvements to his redundent worksheets he freaked. I honestly thought the girl before me had made it. It was that bad. I put formula's in another worksheet, maybe he didn't like the efficency of that.

I just don't know. I was a mess yesterday. I feel like a failure and have lost confidence in myself. I'm insecure right now. I was going to get off the anxiety/depression meds because I was so happy. Not now. I've obsessed about the firing for close to 24 hours. I was not given any clue of my lack of abilities, my mistakes etc. He told me once ("don't take this the wrong way" he said)I feel like you multi-tasked to much. I stopped multi-tasking. Obviously he has never been a mom. You do wash, fold clothes, cook dinner, feed the dog, yell at the kids, help the kids with homework and try to clean the kitchen at the same time. You are always putting a fire out here, there, everywhere.

I have a feeling he didn't like me for some reason. I always felt that. He is a born-again Christian. (We had the ten commandments posted at the front door) My husband says those are the worst kind. They've been saved and the could care less about you and what they do in life. I'm Catholic, never been lost/saved. I'm more spiritual in my beliefs. Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. That's my mantra. Since Catholics don't read the bible, (just the bulletin) that must be in the book the "born agains" don't read. Being honest must be sin also.

They might fight my unemployment claim also. I've heard they won't, but after looking at their D&B rating....well who knows (others think they are cutting payroll because of the economy and they don't want to lay off and pay unemployment) They don't have a leg to stand on with that. I already have a lawyer if they deny me.

So that lemonade.....guess who gets to start running and going to the gym? It's winter here in the East Coast. Cold weather running. My kind of thing. I also bought myself a Nikon for my birthday last year. Guess who gets to head out in the cold and take those nature (and other ) pictures I've been dying to do?

Yep..two more days of wallowing and thinking of Friday and then I'm getting my spoon and making lemonade.