o.m.g.

Well I do have good news that i'm not going to blog about (yet). I don't want to jinx it.

Sooooo .... I love my kids. I really do. Why do they follow me around everywhere? Whatever room I go they follow me. I could hang out in the closet (in the past I have) and they follow me. What the fuck?

I think my daughter is going to get her period soon. If not, I'm in trouble because this drama thing she has going is about to make me explode. She just finished crying because the gingerbread house didn't come out great. (I knew I shouldn't have bought that stupid-ass thing) I tried to explain that the one on the cover is done by a professional, but she didn't give a damn. My husband is sick of them all their whines. He made them leave the kitchen so I could cook and he got some lip "but......insert excuse" He came right back with "did you not fucking hear me, GET OUT. Shit. Of course she cried about that too. It was deserved though.

Ok, now I feel like a real shit. She just came up and apologized to me.

So much for that vent.

Better, except for the nightmares

That's the last time I try to get off my anxiety medication. Since our health insurance plan doesn't start for 2 more months I thought I would cut my pills in half and on some days not take any. Instead of doing that I should of just called the pharmacy up and asked what the meds would cost out-of-pocket. I was thinking a 30 day supply would run about $150. Turns out it's $32. I can afford a $1 a day. I'm back to where I want to be mentally and physically. It is a good place.

I've been having nightmares for the past couple nights now. It's the same type of dream. I go back to my old job (the one I was fired from) and just start working. Sometimes I hide from the boss (that was too much of a coward to do the deed) and do my work. Last night he allowed me to work and I was there with the lady that came back from her failure in Nevada. I think we were competing for the job. So much drama in these nightmares, it's mentally draining. I know I still have issues with how I was let go, how she leaves her job and fails in another area and just comes back and they give her my job back and use lies to fire me. My issues mainly stem from believing their lies (knowing they weren't true...even the division of unemployment found them not to be accurate) and letting it get to me. Basically I'm pissed off! As my middle child always puts it "IT'S NOT FAIR!" In all honesty, it was an easy job, but it was also a weird place to work. It was like a morgue. I think I'm more pissed off that the economy sucks and getting a new job won't be easy and that my husband is up my butt about why I don't have a job.

I just wish the nightmares would go away for now.