Better, except for the nightmares
That's the last time I try to get off my anxiety medication. Since our health insurance plan doesn't start for 2 more months I thought I would cut my pills in half and on some days not take any. Instead of doing that I should of just called the pharmacy up and asked what the meds would cost out-of-pocket. I was thinking a 30 day supply would run about $150. Turns out it's $32. I can afford a $1 a day. I'm back to where I want to be mentally and physically. It is a good place.
I've been having nightmares for the past couple nights now. It's the same type of dream. I go back to my old job (the one I was fired from) and just start working. Sometimes I hide from the boss (that was too much of a coward to do the deed) and do my work. Last night he allowed me to work and I was there with the lady that came back from her failure in Nevada. I think we were competing for the job. So much drama in these nightmares, it's mentally draining. I know I still have issues with how I was let go, how she leaves her job and fails in another area and just comes back and they give her my job back and use lies to fire me. My issues mainly stem from believing their lies (knowing they weren't true...even the division of unemployment found them not to be accurate) and letting it get to me. Basically I'm pissed off! As my middle child always puts it "IT'S NOT FAIR!" In all honesty, it was an easy job, but it was also a weird place to work. It was like a morgue. I think I'm more pissed off that the economy sucks and getting a new job won't be easy and that my husband is up my butt about why I don't have a job.
I just wish the nightmares would go away for now.
I've been having nightmares for the past couple nights now. It's the same type of dream. I go back to my old job (the one I was fired from) and just start working. Sometimes I hide from the boss (that was too much of a coward to do the deed) and do my work. Last night he allowed me to work and I was there with the lady that came back from her failure in Nevada. I think we were competing for the job. So much drama in these nightmares, it's mentally draining. I know I still have issues with how I was let go, how she leaves her job and fails in another area and just comes back and they give her my job back and use lies to fire me. My issues mainly stem from believing their lies (knowing they weren't true...even the division of unemployment found them not to be accurate) and letting it get to me. Basically I'm pissed off! As my middle child always puts it "IT'S NOT FAIR!" In all honesty, it was an easy job, but it was also a weird place to work. It was like a morgue. I think I'm more pissed off that the economy sucks and getting a new job won't be easy and that my husband is up my butt about why I don't have a job.
I just wish the nightmares would go away for now.
Labels: musings
posted by m at
6:41 AM
1 Comments:
Just wanted to tell you that your blog makes me feel better. My husband had to take a transfer or get laid off so I lost my job when I moved. I have not been able to find work, not even waiting tables.
Now my goals for the day are make the bed, dishes, vacume, apply for 6 government jobs and 6 regular jobs. Wednesday's list is don't forget Law and Order, vacume, make bed, dishes, apply for 3 jobs on Craigslist. Every day it's so laaaaammeee. No one even calls me for interviews. When people ask me about work I start to cry like some kind of depressed 3 year old with frown lines. It's pathetic. I drop off resumes and people will sometimes say "were not hiring at this time" and I will start balling and run out the door. I'm not trying to be a downer I just know what its like.
Anyway I wish you good luck in your search for employment. I really do and I hope your nightmares clear up.
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