Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I am my son

I ran 3.3 miles yesterday. A lot of flat ground and some small and big hills mixed in. It felt like a super crappy run. I still can't make it up the final hill. I haven't made it up this hill since I was in training for the half marathon. I ran a 9.44 pace. ACK. Actually that isn't bad since I only ran once last week and the walking is the only thing keeping me in cardio shape. After the run I went on a 1 hour cardio killer power walk with running partner #1.

The scale is no longer my friend. I don't like the #'s I'm seeing there. But, my clothes feel good and I don't feel the scale # reflects my weight. I have been eating shitty for the past week. Today I go to the market to get some food b/c right now the cupboards are pretty bare with the exception of goldfish, pretzels, soup and gatorade.

Regarding the title for today. I have said numerous times that my son, "T" lacks confidence and doesn't want to try anything new. Well our swim team is having a parents relay today and they are looking to stock a second team. I would have to swim 50 free. I've been debating about doing it for hours. Why? Because I lack the confidence. I haven't swam since 2005 (and that what just for cross training, you know a 20 min swim). Here are my questions to myself. Will my googles fall off on my dive, can I dive, will I drown on the flip turn, can I still do a flip turn, will the other parents kick my ass, are the other parents triatheltes in training, will my kids be embarassed about mom looking like an idiot, will I be the fattest one up there, will I look like an ass? It goes on and on. Then I think to myself, I will be pissed if I don't do it. I want my kids to try new things, why can't I? I should set an example. Running that 5k last year was pretty scary (but I had been training then) I was a pretty good swimmer (at 16) who gives a fuck what I look like. At least I'm out there giving it my best.

To be continued.

6 Comments:

Blogger neca said...

Whew! I thought I was the only one who had these thoughts running through her head all the time!

6:42 AM  
Blogger tryathlete said...

Ditch the scale. Go with the mirror.

7:30 AM  
Blogger SRR said...

I agree with the pig...DITCH THE SCALE!! Base it on how you look and feel in the clothes, which I am sure is FABULOUS!!

And yes...it is hard to set a good example for children. So it seems, I am not too good in that department, since certain someone's read my blog. Opps!

8:22 AM  
Blogger psbowe said...

I can't wait to read about the relay report...you're doing it, aren't ya?? You can do it, I think you're thinking too much into it, you'll do fine.

11:42 AM  
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