Feeling Groovy ETC

Is summer over? It sure feels like it on the East Coast. My mood has been great these past two days (IPOD corruption....not included) I don't know if it's the more running lately, the weather or a combination of the two, but I am just loving life.

Yesterday I got home from work and attacked my dining room. It wasn't really cluttered or messy, but I just went into "mode". I organized three drawers, pledged, vacuumed and trashed a bunch of junk. (basically papers and crap that we kept throwing in the drawers so as not to lose it)

I've also started going through my clothes and donating what I don't wear. Why is this so hard? Why am I attached to clothes. For example:

T-Shirts: There are some I haven't worn in years. There are the ones I got at races. Why am I keeping the race t-shirts. Most are the ugliest things I have ever seen. I surely don't need to wear them to prove that I am a runner. Heck you wouldn't know I was a runner unless you saw me running. I never dress the part in public. Well these and that have been donated.

Regular shirts: I have 2 brown shirts that I NEVER wear. One cost me $1.99 at Macy's about 8 years ago. (I was soooo psyched about that find!) Why am I holding on to these? I'm looking at them thinking brown is "in" this year. You know what....who cares...donation pile.

Jeans: My "kinda" fat jeans. Why are they in the "maybe" pile. Would I really get "kinda fat" if I give them away. Do I really think I'm that important in the universe? No. Donate them.

I don't wear half the clothes in my closet. I need to shed most of my closet. While cleaning it out I found the cutest pair of shoes that I forgot I had. Now that summer is over I can't wear them. What a waste.

Since "going greener" I have no supermarket plastic bags anymore. We are reusing bathroom liner trash bags over and over again. We are using newspaper bags to clean up walking the dog poop.

ETC: What is bothering me:

I wrote awhile ago about my neighbor and friend whose husband decided he no longer loved her and didn't want to be married. (short version) Ok. Well she locked herself and kids in the house (still is btw) BUT she is doing great mentally. Fantastic.

Soooo, she got an invitation to go to the beach for the night (August) and wanted to leave early and her husband wouldn't be home until after work. I agreed to watch her kids. No problem. My daughter, me and my littlest went over there to babysit and play. Her children wanted juice. So I opened the frig to get juice. Ummm no juice. For that matter her frig contained: milk and some cut up cantelope. That is it. So I searched the rest of her kitchen for juice. No juice. She had granola bars, pasta, pasta sauce and peanuts. I sent J home to get a box of juice boxes. While waiting I opened up the freezer....a half bag of nuggets and 1 bag of veggies. Now I'm a bit worried. My neighbor has lost weight and there is NO food in this house. Is she sending a message to her husband...."you buy the fucking food". What is going on.

Ok month later. She is still holed up in her home. Will not answer phone, reply to messages and will only communicate via email. Fine.

Last week neighborhood girls night. She comes. She is the size of one of the Olsen twins. She gladly informs us she is a size 00 (yes there is a size 00) in Lucky jeans. Put a baseball cap on her and she will look like a 12 year old boy. We have apps before heading out. She does not eat. We go to the bar and order more apps (b/c we are girls) Everyone eats something (even a salad) She....nothing. She has been living on coffee and popcorn. But she is a size 00 and happy for it. She is happy and laughing . Two of the girls there tell her she looks GREAT. She tells us her other friends think she looks GREAT. Ok here's my problem. She doesn't look great. She is not eating, has 2 kids, does not leave her home and the tops she wears would fit my thin 8 year old. My neighbor's 9 and 10 year old would not fit in her clothes.

I confronted running partner #1 about her "looking great" comment. She thinks running partner #2 is too thin. (fyi running partner #2 is training for a marathon and looks like an athlete) She told me she thinks she looks great mentally. That she really isn't too thin. She just lost her middle bulge.

I'm worried. How long can you live on coffee and popcorn? When do you crash? When do you take a long look in the mirror and really see yourself? Will you ever see yourself if everyone tells you that you look great? Is there a point when you keep trying to lose weight? Just one more pound you say. I keep asking myself....is it me? Am I the f'd up one? Am I secretly jealous of "00"?

You know what? No. I love my curves. I love the muscles in my thighs. I love feeling my muscles coming back in the past two weeks. Maybe why that is why I'm feeling groovy. I don't know. I'm just worried about my neighbor. There is nothing I can do. I'm sure she will eat something sometime, realize that a 00 is just not right. Maybe she eats food in private. I hope so.

Then again...i have a pair of jeans that say I'm a size 4. Seriously...how stupid do they think I am? The size 4 jeans fit the same way as my size 8's and I'm sure I could find size 10 the fit the same way as all of them.

I feel a run coming on. (update*** I ran....thought it was cloudy. It wasn't. It was sunny and hot...I ran a faster pace just to get it over with) Thanks for the cool comments Try!!