So exciting

Read two papers. Which means I got depressed 2x.

I got my final paycheck today.

I got the car washed.

Cleaned the office/xtra bedroom. Discovered the cats had peed on the bedf (I had plastic under the comforter..yea)

Cleaned the closet, cleaned our room (pledge and vaccumed)

Cleaned the litter box.

Caught up on all wash and all dvr'd programs. Laughed at the Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

Took a shower and straightened my hair.

It's 2:54. Wondering if neighbor is home and would like to have either a bottle of wine with me or some beer. The offset to that is I have to hear how much she and everyone else hates another neighbor. I don't really care for the other neighbor either, but I never have. I just don't feel like listening to the high school drama talk because WE ARE IN OUR 40S !!!

Nope. Not calling neighbor up. Will watch Tom and Jerry.

Have I mentioned I hate Jerry?

Playing

Me at age 6.

The dog.

The ice storm, and me thinking i'm ansel adams. Guess not.

The girl who couldn't dive 2 months ago! I could still critique this dive, but let's just say she looks awesome.

Get me out of here!

I have stress in my back.

My father is here and in the first 5 minutes I heard: (nagged)

"what is it about YOU PEOPLE" and gas" (we gave him the car to use b/c he has a rear wheel drive car)

"your damn gas tank lid was frozen this morning" Like this is my fault how?

"don't your kids have hats?"

AAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKK.

3:40 pm

Sent out two more resumes.
Composted all the green (now browns) that were in the refrigerator. Scrounged around for dead leaves among the snow to add the true browns to the mix.
Watched the Polar Express, punched someone out in Wii. Got KO'd by the same guy 2 minutes later.
Made mashed potatoes.
Two loads of wash.
Cleaned up some of the dining room table (which is the dumping ground for all paper)
Read dlisted.com
Cleaned kitchen.
Murphy'd the kitchen table.
Ate some brownies.
Checked the weather.
Watched "The Closer"
Wished I worked in the fantasy land of "The Closer."

Wednesday

Applied for one job online. Refuse to apply to those search companies. Been there, done that. Time waister.

Bought snow boots for the two older kids. We finally got snow and they had outgrown last year's boots. Thankfully they still have snow boots in the store next to the summer sandals.

Made brownies.

Defrosting corned beef.

Still in the process of finishing wash.

Cleaned litter box.

Let the dog out to pee 30 times.

Told David 100x what time it is. Explained the sweep hand on the clock 10 x.

It's only 11:42 am.

Bleck.

Unemployment office

Stood in the unemployment office for ohhhhh about 3+ hours. Hung out in the vestibule with the cool kids. Said the word "fuck" a lot. Laughed a lot. Ran into the other guy that got laid off with me. Ditto.

Sat in the unemployment office in a chair for 30 minutes. Laughed a lot again. We are all quite funny people.

Found out due to some law that I can NOT collect unemployment until April. Fuck.

Found out their excuse written on my letter does NOT deny me benefits. So HA!

It's been one of those ha, ha fucking days.

I'm a mess.

I can't function properly. I don't want to do anything. Thing is we have no food in the house and I have about 8 loads of wash to get to. The house is looking shabby also. I have no energy to do that much less think or write about it.

The one thing that has made me laugh is my four year old. Funny how he brings smiles and laughter to me in this bad time. Usually he drives me crazy. This morning he told me the girl on the other wii team got a homerun off him. He told me he was so mad that he was going to kick her. Then he walked back downstairs, I guess to kick her. The tv was still standing when I went to get him ready for church. That's a good thing.

Even with the help of my husband and my youngest I'm still a wreck. I know it will get better. I'm just obsessing about the unfairness of it all. I can't get past that. They were training me on Thursday for a new duty and they fire me on Friday. Their excuses were pathetic. I just want the honest truth. I don't have a good answer. I will never get a decent answer. If I knew I couldn't handle the job or was a total fuck up I would be sad, but "get it". I wasn't either one of those. Something happened Thursday afternoon. What the hell was it? I'm even madder that the owner didn't tell me himself and was such a coward that he didn't come into the office until after the both of us got canned. Then to infer that they are going to deny me unemployment benefits. Maybe that's why I'm a mess. Because I'm worried about that. I don't understand why they would deny me that. It would cost their unemployment account approx $300. It's not like it's their money being forcebly withdrawn from their checking account to pay me.

The audacity of it all floors me. Maybe he thinks it's some born-again christian moral code. Since he fired me he doesn't have to allow me to get unemployment. They lied in their business practices. What about the morality of that? It's ok because he got away with it? No one will know? It'll be fine because we (maybe) can do it honestly in a month. It's fine to lie for one month so you don't lose your income. Maybe he will have to lie for a year instead? Who knows.

I need to get moving. I need to keep busy. I need to work on that damn lemonade.

Fuck.

Lemons

I have a lot of them right now. I'm thinking about how to make lemonade.

I lost my job. I am shocked I lost my job. A 20+ year employee lost his job the same day I did.

I was given reasons. They didn't make sense. I kept asking the Office Manager questions. She finally could only say (again and again) I'm sorry I have to do this. She gave me three reasons before the sorry lines.

He didn't like the way I did the bank deposits (huh, how many ways are there to do that) I had to much work backed up on my desk ("s, my bins are empty, what work) and that he didn't feel confident in my abilities. What abilities. I didn't get to do "anything" really. I've been there five months. Honestly I had just got how everything really worked and went together. When I tried to make improvements to his redundent worksheets he freaked. I honestly thought the girl before me had made it. It was that bad. I put formula's in another worksheet, maybe he didn't like the efficency of that.

I just don't know. I was a mess yesterday. I feel like a failure and have lost confidence in myself. I'm insecure right now. I was going to get off the anxiety/depression meds because I was so happy. Not now. I've obsessed about the firing for close to 24 hours. I was not given any clue of my lack of abilities, my mistakes etc. He told me once ("don't take this the wrong way" he said)I feel like you multi-tasked to much. I stopped multi-tasking. Obviously he has never been a mom. You do wash, fold clothes, cook dinner, feed the dog, yell at the kids, help the kids with homework and try to clean the kitchen at the same time. You are always putting a fire out here, there, everywhere.

I have a feeling he didn't like me for some reason. I always felt that. He is a born-again Christian. (We had the ten commandments posted at the front door) My husband says those are the worst kind. They've been saved and the could care less about you and what they do in life. I'm Catholic, never been lost/saved. I'm more spiritual in my beliefs. Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. That's my mantra. Since Catholics don't read the bible, (just the bulletin) that must be in the book the "born agains" don't read. Being honest must be sin also.

They might fight my unemployment claim also. I've heard they won't, but after looking at their D&B rating....well who knows (others think they are cutting payroll because of the economy and they don't want to lay off and pay unemployment) They don't have a leg to stand on with that. I already have a lawyer if they deny me.

So that lemonade.....guess who gets to start running and going to the gym? It's winter here in the East Coast. Cold weather running. My kind of thing. I also bought myself a Nikon for my birthday last year. Guess who gets to head out in the cold and take those nature (and other ) pictures I've been dying to do?

Yep..two more days of wallowing and thinking of Friday and then I'm getting my spoon and making lemonade.

the husband - I

Laundry:

I've always said that if it were possible I would install a dryer in our bedroom closet just for him. It would fit if we got rid of his dresser. Why bother having a dresser if you never put your folded clothes in it. He could just have his own personal dryer/dresser. Honestly I'm sick of (and I have pretty much quit, unless I'm in the mood) putting his clothes neatly in his drawers to only find a week later that it looks like a small bomb went off in there.

Last night I folded all the clothes (2 loads) fit them in a laundry basket sorted them out per child and asked him to bring it upstairs and I would put them away. Later I didn't see said basket. He told me (proudly) he put them away. I asked did you hang the boys tops in the closet. "No, why would I do that, I put them in their drawers" My mind reverts to the bomb that has now blown up in their drawer. "Please tell me you didn't put David's shirts in THAT middle drawer". (My mind is racing....that middle drawer that hasn't worked for 3 years, that middle drawer that when you pull it the entire thing crashes to the floor, that middle drawer that I want to super glue shut so I don't find it half in the dresser and half on the floor or skewed in the dresser....THAT MIDDLE DRAWER) "Yeah I put them in the middle drawer, why?" Why indeed! To think like him it's "why not."

This morning I took all my clothes out of our laundry sorter (usually I stick mine in the back of the sorter) and created a new laundry basket for myself in the closet. Last week he went in the sorter, washed and dried all my shirts on super-duper high. Yes they should be preshrunk and that's a whole other post. My husband, he tries which is better than most. I informed him this morning not to wash my clothes or anything (of the childrens) that is originally the color white with something that is say the color blue/black/brown (3 b's). Never, ever.

I hope he listens.

Birds of Prey

They lost. They sucked (1st half) got good in the second half and choked. Which is what we expect being phans of Philadelphia teams. That's our life. We won the World Series this year...did I really expect a Super Bowl bid? Yes I did. I hope to see one in my lifetime.

I will say the Arizona cardinals played awesome. My question is though....are there any actual cardinal birds in Arizona?

Now it's time to route for the Baltimore Ravens. I do this in protest. Their quarterback is from the University of Delaware and even though I didn't go there, I live there and pay taxes to that school. Anyhow, even though Pittsburgh is a great city....I'm so tired of that team, and being a girl I hate the bumble bee colors.

Now I can enjoy the Super Bowl in two weeks and enjoy the commercials with no stress.

See, I can turn it on to the positive!

What we learned.

MOM:

The summer stuff is out.
The winter stuff is 60%+ off.
Julia wears a size 5 shoe.
The winter boots are not on sale. (after I paid full price) J lucked out!
A lot of stores are empty and/or closing.
Eagles NFL sponsored gear is $100+
Her husband washed her daughters white $$$$ landsend jacket with a blue towel AND dried it. Didn't notice that one for an entire week.

JULIA

Her mom HATES chocolate icecream.
Her mom won't pay $59 for face powder. To quote "are they nuts?!"
Her mom is a very fast shopper.
Her mom will take the faster course to beat the slow pokes.
Her mom will ditch a cart in Target because it's a pain in the a**.

All in all a good mother-daughter day.

Next time we will bring the camera and skip the shopping (not the pedicures though) because we saw some awesome shots. This will means lots of hiking it. Something we both enjoy.

Exercise everytime Julia has swim practice. Hmmm. Well two out three isn't bad. Let's look at the details.

Sunday. We got invited to a football party. Julia had her bag and I figured I would stop at home and change out of my EAGLES regalia. (jeans, eagles jersey and eagles crocks) You know the rest. The game was getting great..we left in a hurry and had no time to stop at home. Julia got to practice on time. I asked if I could go in the cardio room and watch the rest of the game. Thing is you have to exercise to watch the tvs. So there is me. Jeans, crocks, jersey walking on the treadmill for 40 minutes. I must say I was walking faster than a LOT of people I've seen on treadmills in the past.

Oh and yes the Eagles won!

Wednesday. Worked it on the only available cardio machine. I wanted to smack the 13 year old off the machine I wanted. Basically he was dressed like a "hood". I think my crocks worked better than the "sneakers" he had on. That reminds me I need new sneakers.

Friday....blew it off. Spent time watching my four year old bounce like crazy in the moon bounce at the gym. I'm that good of a mother.

This Sunday....The Birds of Prey are playing those little red birds for a chance at the Super Bowl. No gym. I will sacrifice my exercise day to sit, scream at the tv and eat football food. I will schedule a make-up day.

My husband is still a hunting freak. Julia and I have girls day starting in an hour. It was going to start as us hitting nature and taking some Ansel Adams type pictures. Right now it's colder here than in Alaska (yes it is) so ... it looks like pedicures, shopping and lunch. I am so looking forward to it!

I know

I haven't been here in over a month (or is it more?)

I'm working two jobs (which the PT should end in March or April)

Things are going well. I hate saying that because I don't want to jinx it. Hopefully I will post more when we get a new home pc. The old one needs to be completely erased and given to the children.

Quick highlight.

No, I haven't been working out. I would love to go for a run (or even a walk) but time is a problem right now. I DO belong to a gym and plan on going tonight and all nights my daughter has swim team. I did swim laps yesterday for 20 minutes.

Speaking of swimming and my daughter...the little pip can beat me in a 25 free. Can you believe it? First I gave her half pool head start and I realized this girl has gotton good. Then we took off the wall at the same time for the next 25 and she tapped me out. I love it!!!! She is getting private lessons in diving and flipturns. She is doing great.

My oldest son will start taking quitar lessons. I hope he has the music gene because his father and I don't, but a LOT of Joe's family has it.

My youngest...getting better in the personality/complaint/whining department. Not great, but better. He gets so frustrated because he can't keep up with his older brother. Rumor has it he really has improved with his swimming. I can't wait to see it in a couple of weeks.

My husband is hunting a lot. I hope the season is over soon. It seems like a really looooong season this year.

A LOT of blogs have gone private now. Which bums me out because you are my inspiration.

Anywhohow that's it. Like I said I hope to be posting more often.

Ciao.