Open Letter

Dear Twat,

Hello. I'm curious, are you proud of yourself? Does it feel good to go after a married man with children? Is it empowering? Does it make you feel good? Was he not leaving his wife fast enough? Was that why you wrote him a 4 page love letter and left it in his car. Your plan worked, because his wife found the letter and kicked him out of the house.

Now if it were my husband your sweet life would of been severly disrupted. First and foremost I would of confronted you. Next I would of mailed you pictures of our family. Then I would of gone to corporate and told them all about you. My friend did not do any of the above. I must say she is a better person than me. She never called you, was nice to her husband, tried to work it out with him. You do have it nice that way. No confrontation to deal with.

Now we see who is giving her husband legal advice. How mighty dumb of you. It was crazy that she had to procure receipts for going to the grocery store. Then, what a hoot... he would itemize the receipt to what was in the house. Even better he would accuse her of making meals for her friends. How dare she shop at Walmart too. Do the boys really need clothes that bad? Who would of thought to empty all the bank accounts, take her off the joint credit cards? Was that to force her to get a job? Surely having two children under the age of 3, it should be easy to find a well paying job in this climate that will pay for daycare and other essentials. She told him she needed diapers and wipes. He replied

"I will drive down with them, when you need something for the boys I will buy it."

He would now do all her grocery shopping too. You'll show her.

We especially loved the email you "mistakenly" sent to her. How funny. (seriously it was funny) He wanted to know what my friend was buying their son for his birthday so he didn't get the same thing. Now I would of emailed back... "well if I had a penny to my name I would buy him something, but since you have emptied out our bank account...." that's just me. She emails back

"I don't know what I am getting him yet. If you buy the same thing just return it"

Your reply: (why he forwards her email to you.....i'll never know)

"That bitch! You should tell her that you and Chrissy have more important things to do than return gifts!"

Ok let us laugh. (ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.)

First there was nothing bitchy in her email.

Second why does he have to bring your name into it? Aren't you secure in your place?

Third, what pray tell are you too busy doing? What important things can a 20 something have to do? I have some pretty good ideas, but, well they are just bitchy.

Now are you the one (or maybe this is all him) who demands that she be back by 9 pm on her one day during the week out. (his one day during the week with HIS children) We laugh (again) at his quote

"I'm not a babysitter, you WILL be back by 9 pm"

No you are their father. She is home 4 nights a week with her (your) children. She is a mother. Who could be so stupid to say that line? We know if she does come back at 9 she will end up being the "babysitter". (what we like to call a MOTHER) Does it make you mad that a family member comes at 9 so she can have more time out?
I think my friend has done the most amazing thing. She has ignored you. She is trying to ignore her husband also. That's hard when you have two children and he is trying to control you. Don't worry young thing the divorce will be final in months.

Now what are your plans? Marriage? Are your parents wealthy? That'll help. Children? Were your planning on them? With him? Is that your dream? Nice. Oh wait...he had a vasectomy. Whooops...you knew that didnt' you? That's ok....there are sperm banks, China girls, African babies...hey even foster children. Then, maybe you'll be too busy to return gifts.

You know I was really worried about my friend. Worried she wouldn't come through this. I'm not sure why. She is strong, fiesty, smart, remarkable, beautiful and this situation has had an amazing effect on her. I wonder if you would be so strong when it (does) happen to you.

Sincerely,

The neighbor

ps. I kicked his ass in running. He's 4 years younger than me and I smoked him. What a loser.