My life
has turned into "walk, run, sprint". I mean literally and figuratively. For example yesterday I "walked" with running buddy #1. It was a walk, run, sprint because of the youngest. This is good. What is not good is wearing your old sneakers because you are "just walking". While running and sprinting you realize why your sneakers are old.
On the other end....I seem to be floating, fighting, manic on the life business. The schedule of things is crazy. The only time I have for me is when the kids go to bed. That is when I plop my butt in front of the TV and vegitate. Or multi-task the TV with cleaning and wash. I used to have that 30-45 minute window to run. It's not there anymore. My husband either has T at Scouts, works at his brother's restaurant some nights, VFW duties, and he gets to go target shooting on some Thursdays. I thought everything would be easier when my youngest got older, it hasn't. As a family we don't really have our children in many activities. Any activity takes so much time and commitment. Especially when you have three kids and you both work. I'm about 5 months late on my mamogram. Yes, my mother had breast cancer. Why aren't I taking care of me? Why am I taking care of everything and everybody else around me? I put myself last. I guess that's what motherhood is about. I know my mother did the same thing. I came first. Just repeating the process.
My work hours have been cut drastically. That and the economy the way it is...well just one more worry on my plate. We will be fine (not losing our home or anything) but it's bad when you think you are getting your stimulus rebate and you find out that "no, Turb0 Ta$ messed up and you will get a check sometime in June. A check you were counting on last week. A check you really needed last week. You paid your summer swim team and club membership, got new brakes thinking the check would be here. It's not.
To end this depressing post...i'm going to a groove class tonight at the Y. I am going to shake my hips like Shakira. I'll be working all my frustrations out. I can't wait. Seriously, I can't!
On the other end....I seem to be floating, fighting, manic on the life business. The schedule of things is crazy. The only time I have for me is when the kids go to bed. That is when I plop my butt in front of the TV and vegitate. Or multi-task the TV with cleaning and wash. I used to have that 30-45 minute window to run. It's not there anymore. My husband either has T at Scouts, works at his brother's restaurant some nights, VFW duties, and he gets to go target shooting on some Thursdays. I thought everything would be easier when my youngest got older, it hasn't. As a family we don't really have our children in many activities. Any activity takes so much time and commitment. Especially when you have three kids and you both work. I'm about 5 months late on my mamogram. Yes, my mother had breast cancer. Why aren't I taking care of me? Why am I taking care of everything and everybody else around me? I put myself last. I guess that's what motherhood is about. I know my mother did the same thing. I came first. Just repeating the process.
My work hours have been cut drastically. That and the economy the way it is...well just one more worry on my plate. We will be fine (not losing our home or anything) but it's bad when you think you are getting your stimulus rebate and you find out that "no, Turb0 Ta$ messed up and you will get a check sometime in June. A check you were counting on last week. A check you really needed last week. You paid your summer swim team and club membership, got new brakes thinking the check would be here. It's not.
To end this depressing post...i'm going to a groove class tonight at the Y. I am going to shake my hips like Shakira. I'll be working all my frustrations out. I can't wait. Seriously, I can't!
posted by m at
6:38 AM
5 Comments:
m. seriously. there will be nobody happy in your family unless you are happy. you have to make time for you or you will get bitter. believe me, i have been there - actually i think i was there two weeks ago. i don't agree that you have to lose yourself and put everyone ahead of you. that's not motherhood, its martyrdom.
commit to caring for yourself and the family will adapt and benefit because you will be healthy and happy. and if you're really lucky - they'll support you and find more time for you to do the things you want to do.
my suggestion would be to write it in your calendar. i created one and i keep it in the kitchen. i write the workouts/things that will affect the family and i tell them - this is when i expect you to help. period. make a date with yourself. do it.
and the mammogram? give me the number for the mammo place and i will call them for you and schedule you in. don't mess around with it. you've read what i've been feeling and you don't want to go there.
and yes, i realize i'm pushy. :-)
and i forgot to end with...
hugs to you, girl. :-)
What momo said. Heck, we all do it. I do it. But let's keep reminding each other its not such a great way to run things.
Mary. You need to stop what you are doing right now and schedule that appointment. Even if it means a practice is missed or laundry goes unfolded. Life goes on. Especially if you make that appointment and keep it.
I thought it would get easier too, and you're right: it does not. I find that my girls need me more the older they get. And their needs are so much more complex. They need someone to talk to, to bounce ideas off of...to problem solve with. They need much more time.
We made some drastic decisions this year because I was feeling so strung out. Laura quit Tae Kwon Do. I quit teaching religious instruction. We all stopped obsessing so much over the house work.
And I make the kids much more accountable for their own stuff. I don't micromanage their schedules or homework, make their lunches, or let them off the hook for chores. We all need to pull our own weight a bit more or I lose my mind.
Make that call.
You definitely need to make time for you. Cause when momma is happy,EVERYBODY is happy!
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