The meet, the run and the other child
Let's reverse that.
The run. Goals accomplished. No walking. Pace is now 9:18. I passed RB#7 on the hill. She passed me at the top, but I kept her close in my sights until the end. Score!
The Meet. First my daughter rocked the freestyle relay! Rocked. It. I have never seen such good form from her. Medley relay backstroke was good. Told her before she went off not to look at other swimmers and just to hit the wall. "MOM I KNOW!"
My son looked awesome. He swam his heart out in his relay. Came in first in the unnoficial heat. (took 3 seconds off his time trial time) Yeah T!
Ok I'm posting the drama. Let's preface with I am mad, and I don't blame (totally) the child.
Where to start? Synopsis on child: She is 10. She has Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
Temper-tantrums, even over small disagreements, very upset when they don't get their own way.
Argues with adults, especially with those in authority.
Defies or deliberately refuses to follow rules or directions given by adults.
Deliberately annoys people, continues a behavior after being asked to stop several times (e.g., touching things, saying something, making sounds, etc.).
Blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior.
Seems touchy or easily annoyed by others.
Seems angry and resentful much of the time, walks around with a "sour-puss" much of the time.
Often wants to "even the score" with others, is spiteful toward others.
This is my diagnosis. Not sure if it's her actual problem. I hear she's ADHD, Bi-Polar whatever. She sees a shrink and is on about 6 pills per day. She is a troublemaker at school. Has grabbed a boys privates. Of course you realize this is not her fault. It was an accident. She slept over our home when she was 8 years old. Long story short....At 2 in the morning I told her "DON'T YOU F WITH ME, GET IN THERE!" It took all my adult maturity not to yell the actual fuck word.
From day one on swim team, she has grabbed, clawed swam over my child. She will butt in front of her. I have yelled at her. Her parents have talked to her. The coach has pulled her out of the water twice to talk with her. Two girls have broken down at home crying because of her. (clawing and grabbing them) She bullies the boys also. The mother is a neigbor and a friend. Their second daughter is my daughter's best friend. I finally told the mom that her daughter is not to touch my child in anyway at the pool. I don't want her hands on her. Told the mother the coach has pulled their daughter out of the pool and nothing is working. Mom emails me back that she and her husband are probably pulling daughter off team etc. Swim meet last night. Trouble child gets first in unofficial heat. Trouble child is a great swimmer. Mind you trouble child is over 20 seconds from the official heat winning time. Trouble child not kicked off team. Trouble child is grounded for a month. Grounded from what? She will be hanging at the pool in the afternoons, I know that much.
I haven't even touched what other things this child has done.
There is no consequence for her actions. She clawed a boy at a pool last Friday. She was grounded from the Brownie troop camping trip. Husband didn't want to cancel his plans. Of course not. She went on the Brownie camping trip. She disrespected the leaders and tormented her sister. No consequence.
The team has pulled Julia from Trouble child's lane. I told them if she touches my kid again or another kid she need to be off the team. The team needs (and will) do something. The parents not so much. I know if this were my child they would be off the team, and that's just the start of it. Yes the child, it seems can't help herself. I don't see any consequence for her actions. You're grounded for a month? Seriously what does that mean?
Little story of following through. Friend of a friend son (10) told his little brother (4) there was no Santa Claus. His parents had told him "don't tell him there is no Santa", if you do you are not getting Christmas presents. Christmas morning he had no gifts. His mother said it was the hardest thing she has ever done in her life. That boy? Has never disrespected his parents again. Learned a very valuable lesson.
The run. Goals accomplished. No walking. Pace is now 9:18. I passed RB#7 on the hill. She passed me at the top, but I kept her close in my sights until the end. Score!
The Meet. First my daughter rocked the freestyle relay! Rocked. It. I have never seen such good form from her. Medley relay backstroke was good. Told her before she went off not to look at other swimmers and just to hit the wall. "MOM I KNOW!"
My son looked awesome. He swam his heart out in his relay. Came in first in the unnoficial heat. (took 3 seconds off his time trial time) Yeah T!
Ok I'm posting the drama. Let's preface with I am mad, and I don't blame (totally) the child.
Where to start? Synopsis on child: She is 10. She has Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
Temper-tantrums, even over small disagreements, very upset when they don't get their own way.
Argues with adults, especially with those in authority.
Defies or deliberately refuses to follow rules or directions given by adults.
Deliberately annoys people, continues a behavior after being asked to stop several times (e.g., touching things, saying something, making sounds, etc.).
Blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior.
Seems touchy or easily annoyed by others.
Seems angry and resentful much of the time, walks around with a "sour-puss" much of the time.
Often wants to "even the score" with others, is spiteful toward others.
This is my diagnosis. Not sure if it's her actual problem. I hear she's ADHD, Bi-Polar whatever. She sees a shrink and is on about 6 pills per day. She is a troublemaker at school. Has grabbed a boys privates. Of course you realize this is not her fault. It was an accident. She slept over our home when she was 8 years old. Long story short....At 2 in the morning I told her "DON'T YOU F WITH ME, GET IN THERE!" It took all my adult maturity not to yell the actual fuck word.
From day one on swim team, she has grabbed, clawed swam over my child. She will butt in front of her. I have yelled at her. Her parents have talked to her. The coach has pulled her out of the water twice to talk with her. Two girls have broken down at home crying because of her. (clawing and grabbing them) She bullies the boys also. The mother is a neigbor and a friend. Their second daughter is my daughter's best friend. I finally told the mom that her daughter is not to touch my child in anyway at the pool. I don't want her hands on her. Told the mother the coach has pulled their daughter out of the pool and nothing is working. Mom emails me back that she and her husband are probably pulling daughter off team etc. Swim meet last night. Trouble child gets first in unofficial heat. Trouble child is a great swimmer. Mind you trouble child is over 20 seconds from the official heat winning time. Trouble child not kicked off team. Trouble child is grounded for a month. Grounded from what? She will be hanging at the pool in the afternoons, I know that much.
I haven't even touched what other things this child has done.
There is no consequence for her actions. She clawed a boy at a pool last Friday. She was grounded from the Brownie troop camping trip. Husband didn't want to cancel his plans. Of course not. She went on the Brownie camping trip. She disrespected the leaders and tormented her sister. No consequence.
The team has pulled Julia from Trouble child's lane. I told them if she touches my kid again or another kid she need to be off the team. The team needs (and will) do something. The parents not so much. I know if this were my child they would be off the team, and that's just the start of it. Yes the child, it seems can't help herself. I don't see any consequence for her actions. You're grounded for a month? Seriously what does that mean?
Little story of following through. Friend of a friend son (10) told his little brother (4) there was no Santa Claus. His parents had told him "don't tell him there is no Santa", if you do you are not getting Christmas presents. Christmas morning he had no gifts. His mother said it was the hardest thing she has ever done in her life. That boy? Has never disrespected his parents again. Learned a very valuable lesson.
posted by m at
4:42 AM
4 Comments:
I feel for ya - that's rough. We had a (somewhat) similar situation with a kid at my son's school last year. It took the threat of going to a lawyer to see what charges we could file to get any action. And even then, not much. At the end of the day, we decided our son would be going to a different school next year.
((mouth drops))
Oh hell no! I'd be all over the coach about that child. Erg. I understand your frustration and send positive vibes you way :-)
There is a Wolverine on the swim team..?
Those brave parents taught their son a valuable lesson during Xmas. Good on them.
I can see this from both sides. While my daughter is not that bad, she does (at times) have issues similar to what you were describing. It was extrememly difficult for me. I felt like I lost friends because my daughter resorted to hitting on more than 1 occasion. That mother is probably at the end of her rope & is embarrased.
On the other hand these children need extreme boundaries & behavioral modification and it doesn't seem like she's getting it.
I hope it works out.
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