me
I'm the girl who drives up to preschool with Ozzy, Skynnard, The Dead, etc on the radio.
I'm not an "old" mom.
I drink alcohol. Sometimes I'm in the mood for shots.
I have no problems with gay people. I would kill for a gay man friend.
I'm very tolerant. Even of Republicans.
So for the past 3 weeks I've been wearing my mother's crucifix. I haven't taken it off because, well too much work (i'm lazy also). This mom and I talk at our children's swim practice weekly. She's very nice, and we get along. I don't know why but she thinks I would be really interested in Bible Study. Was it the crucifix? I've always thought those bible study people were Republicans and not tolerant people. Kind of like my cousin's wife who I hate. Everyone hates her because she is mean and nasty. (she's huge into bible study) She wanted me to write a letter to Victoria's Secret about their "nasty" commericials. Told me if I was a good mom I would boycott them. Huh? I needed a drink after that conversation.
You know what. I'm going to this bible study group. They are going to study Revelations. Which I find fascinating.
Now my daily bitch. I didn't get to swim yesterday. I refuse to share a lane. I want my own lane all to myself. Probably because I only need it for 20 minutes. Mr. Speedo had one lane, Mrs. Pregnant lady had the other (she's to slow) Mrs. running laps had the other. She pissed me off b/c why can't she run in that open area with the old people. Then there was old lady kickboard. Of course all lanes were open after David's lesson. That's when the fast girls come. The girls that are young, built and wear a drag suit.
Then I would be that old, slow lady pissing them off.
I'm not an "old" mom.
I drink alcohol. Sometimes I'm in the mood for shots.
I have no problems with gay people. I would kill for a gay man friend.
I'm very tolerant. Even of Republicans.
So for the past 3 weeks I've been wearing my mother's crucifix. I haven't taken it off because, well too much work (i'm lazy also). This mom and I talk at our children's swim practice weekly. She's very nice, and we get along. I don't know why but she thinks I would be really interested in Bible Study. Was it the crucifix? I've always thought those bible study people were Republicans and not tolerant people. Kind of like my cousin's wife who I hate. Everyone hates her because she is mean and nasty. (she's huge into bible study) She wanted me to write a letter to Victoria's Secret about their "nasty" commericials. Told me if I was a good mom I would boycott them. Huh? I needed a drink after that conversation.
You know what. I'm going to this bible study group. They are going to study Revelations. Which I find fascinating.
Now my daily bitch. I didn't get to swim yesterday. I refuse to share a lane. I want my own lane all to myself. Probably because I only need it for 20 minutes. Mr. Speedo had one lane, Mrs. Pregnant lady had the other (she's to slow) Mrs. running laps had the other. She pissed me off b/c why can't she run in that open area with the old people. Then there was old lady kickboard. Of course all lanes were open after David's lesson. That's when the fast girls come. The girls that are young, built and wear a drag suit.
Then I would be that old, slow lady pissing them off.
posted by m at
6:36 AM
2 Comments:
I tell my 5 y/o daughter all the time that it is OK to hate someone different from you as long as they are Republican.
You can rest assured that I will return, because it is refreshing to see someone else who truly appreciates "Alco-humor"
Now Shut the F$@K Up and Get Me a BEER!
;)
I fudging love Ozzy. I have some rip snorting Black Sabbath albums and I crank them up while I wash the fudging dishes. And I am drinking my fourth malibu and coke right now!
As for Bible Study, free education, why the hell not??
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home