Saturday, May 23, 2009

bad drug addict

I don't think I could ever be a pill popper.

I had some minor surgery yesterday in which I started the day (and night before) doing 800mg (3x a day) of Motrin. Before surgery I took a Valium. I'd like to know what is the big deal with this stuff. Seriously. They asked me if it had kicked in and I said "i don't think so."

When I got there I got a shot in the butt of some type of serious Motrin. 10 minutes before surgery I did two nasal shots of Stadol. (I was awake during the process) The procedure was 8 minutes long. By minute 7 I was feeling the effects. (In which I couldn't remember a good friend's name, I said the word "fuck"and probably said some other strange stuff) The doctor, assistant and nurse left. I was to get dressed. That was delightful. I'm staggering over the room trying to put my flip-flops on. Once that was done, I wasn't sure if I was suppose to sit there. I needed directions. I decided I would rather be home. I just walked out and asked if I could leave. By the looks on the nurses faces and the doctor I don't think I was suppose to walk out. I think the doctor and assistant might of said something ha, ha funny to me. I just laughed and said "see-ya, thanks so much"(mind you I'm pretending my hardest to be normal, not stoned because I just want to go home) The nurse led me to the door. Once my husband and I left the suite he had to hold me up (like a drunk) to get me to the car. Have you ever see the movie "Sixteen Candles" where the bride takes a shit load of muscle relaxers? That was me walking. If there had been a pew in the hallway I would of sat down. I spent the entire ride home rubbing my face and I think licking it. Thankfully there was no one throwing rice at me when we arrived home. Check out the 1:40 portion of this clip..and the very, very end of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByFDq-92JvI

Once home the cramps got real bad. I popped some Motrin and asked my husband to go to the store to get the prescription Percocet's filled for me. Of course that took forever. (innane questions like ; where is the prescription, where is the drug card, which store, do you need them RIGHT now........) I did another shot of Stadol. I slept for 2 hours then wanted to vomit. Of all the pain relievers I was prescribed I would say my favorite was the anti-naseous medicine. I haven't even touched the Percocets.

Like I said...I wouldn't be a very good drug addict.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer P said...

Hope you're on the mend!

3:38 AM  
Blogger tryathlete said...

Hope you feel better soon.

1:39 AM  

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