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Twas the night before Christmas. Do you like my tree angel, it's the head of a black lab on an angel body. It's been cracking me up for oh, about 7 years now. Notice there are no real balls on the bottom half of the tree. Whatever is there is cheap plastic. I bought the little one a "little people nativity scene." Figured I was safe. Yeah right. He took the little people and threw them at the tree. I think a donkey might still be stuck in there somewhere.

Thank God it's over. I've done the following since I've been gone:

broke in my new running shoes.
Had some awesome runs and gym workouts.
Actually ran in shorts in December
Functioned on very little sleep the week before Christmas. (if I was lucky 4 hours a night)
Had a mini breakdown in the Costco parking lot (that was weird) I hope my kids forget that scene.
Took some drags off a cigarette (needed stress reliever before I had a major breakdown)
Decided that I needed to divorce my husband about 3 times the week before Christmas (do you really need to hunt ducks two (2) days straight while I'm losing my mind planning and cooking a feast for YOUR family? Huh, do you...I'm still waiting for an answer..he just ignored me.
Decided that I will never do xmas eve dinner again
Threw a fucking awesome xmas eve dinner (i rock!)
Lost 3 lbs (then promptly gained it back)
Ate for two days straight and my only exercise was getting my ass off the couch to scrounge for more food.

That was yesterday. I went to the gym today and did an eliptical workout. It was hard b/c you are what you eat and I ate all the crap food I could find. Today is a new day and back to the normal routine. I feel 100x better. How I functioned for the past year(S) like this I will never know. Cigarette smoking sure must of helped me a lot.

One of the reasons I took such a long break from blogging is I'm beginning to wonder if I suffer depression (which I never believed in) or maybe it's just the season. I'm not sure. After talking with my best friend we decided that we need a pill that takes the edge off (of life ) and that we wasted all our money on drugs in our 20's when we definately didn't need them. We need those drugs now in our 40's. It was a pretty deep, funny conversation. By the end of the conversation I felt so much better knowing that I'm not alone in these feelings. I'm going to see how the next 6 months go. By then spring will be here and maybe this depression thing is really the holidays and the winter solstice. I just don't want my kids to think their mother is a raving lunatic that lays on the couch every night. (which is pretty much what I thought of my mother, but I did love her a lot and really appreciate all that she did/gave up for me)

The half is coming up in March. My friend (bons) who decided we needed to run this event is finally getting her shit together and bought new running sneakers and some winter running gear. I don't think she has run since early November. She is hooked on some 12 week training schedule she got off the internet. I've seen the schedule and don't really agree with it, but whatever works for her. My long distance is still around 7 miles. I wanted to be up to 10 by now but the weather, Christmas and my life in general has gotton in the way. I think the new sneakers have taken care of my leg problems. I need to drop 10 before this race. I will work on that in the new year. I really, really want to finish this half in 2 hours. (b/c I only plan on running this long distance once in my life) My last run which was 6.82 miles was done in 1 hours time. Good right? Well my last mile, which I felt like I was sprinting I look down at my watch and it says 9:20! Ack. There is no way I was running that slow. I was quite pissed at that time. I need to start doing tempo runs immediately.