Clothing

I think you have to be built like an olympian to wear this stuff. Or I am just a mushy pile of fat in my mid-section? I tried an XL top on and to say the least it was a train wreck. Even their small adult fitted hat was obnoxious. I was so frustrated that I put the hat on my five year old and it fit him perfectly. Now if there is an adult with the size head of my five year old, well i'm thinking they might look a tad bit strange. I ended up buying an XL running top in black (from another brand), which is still too small, but I'm desperate. I don't view myself as XL. Large, yes b/c of my C cups, but if I were still 165 I would be out of luck for running clothes. Speaking of running clothes, while reading Jeanne's blog I see the rage is the running skirt. I skipped over to Bex's blog and saw pics of the said skirt. Not sure if that's for me. Bex looks great in her skirt, but I'm thinking she's a size 4 (and could probably wear a small under armour top....ahhh so she's the one!) I think I'll stick to my shorts for the time being. Though with some peer pressure I'll be wearing a skirt for my next 5k.

Weight. I spiked to 150 on Monday. I'm back down to 146 with all the super healthy eating for the week. I've been eating some low-fat super processed food, which is not technically detox, but I have to ease into this. I'm drinking intense amount of water to flood my system of the former. Tonight we have a dinner engagement at a steak establishment. This is top of the line cow. I can't wait. Though I would rather go to a fish establishment, this dinner is paid for by a third party so I can't complain.

I have two runs scheduled for this weekend. Since I did 30+ minutes yesterday I'm going to pound out 40 min on Saturday. That should add at least another mile +. On my last two runs I have mixed up my routes so I have no idea where the mile markers are. I still use my watch to check my total run time, but I'm no longer slave to getting pissed at myself if I run a mile in over 9 minutes. I've noticed that my legs are getting back into running form. I'm not nearly as tight some morning as I have been on others. My ankle is still weak too. Well, maybe I should climb down the jungle gym at the park instead of jumping the final 5 feet to the ground. Maybe.

Have a great weekend.

PMS

I'm at the convience store getting my nightly coffee (I blame my thyroid on this development) They are understaffed and while waiting in line another line opened up. I got over there first and tried to hand the clerk my $1. This big fat white trash came from the other way (it's a circular clerk station) pushed her girth over the counter and started on "I need two cartons of such and such" I was deflated. All I want is my coffee and to get out of there. I go back to line 1 and there are like 7 people in it. I know I should of stayed there since I was originally next in line. I hand the girl my dollar (in the middle of another transaction) even though the coffee was only .85 and nicely say "take this for my coffee." I go out get in my car and start to drive away and see that fat bitch with her smokes leaving the store. While driving I give her my Italian evil eye. She flips me the finger and I see the words "fuck you" come out of her mouth. What do I do?

a. smile and drive away?
b. flip her the bird back?
c. roll down my window and yell... "fuck you too. You need to lose about 200lbs. Maybe you should go back in the store and buy a few more cartons to help you, you hunt!" Drive away as fast as I can in my 4 cylinder 1.8 (whatever that means) 118 horsepower (?) car.

Hint...I'm buying some sort of bumper sticker or decal b/c I don't want her to remember my car. Oh and I did call her a hunt....it came out wrong b/c I was talking to fast. I think she got my meaning. (what a nasty word)

I need to control my pms in the future, or is it my caffeine addiction? I'm acting like a 14 yr old immature piece of white trash instead of a 40 year old mother of 3.

I ran 30 minutes today and took a 15 power walk too. At least I did something productive.

Knowing the elite

A couple years ago my younger cousin got married. I had met the guy once before and thought he was a nice guy that could of stood to put on a few pounds and get a tan of some sort. Then they got married and each dinner table was set up for the marathons he raced (eg. pittsburgh, tokyo etc...) the times were posted there also. I was so NOT impressed. I asked my husband if the guy was any good. (since my husband was the only one I had ever known to run a marathon) He looked at me like I was an idiot and said are you nuts he's awesome. So my cousin married a runner. I knew he raced a lot and won prize money most times, blah, blah, blah.

My father wanted me to check this guys Boston Marathon time. Holy shit....He came in the top 40 (and no he wasn't #40) So I googled his name and I'm SO impressed. My husband looked at his time and wanted to know if he was qualifying for the olympic team. He's that good.

#4 finisher in the Boston Marathon went to my college. He was 9 years old when I was in my senior year there. I don't know him at all, but it's weird that such an elite runner went to such a small Catholic college. He joined the xc team there. I didn't even know we had a xc team.

Day 1

Detox...so far so good.

This morning I was waiting at the bus stop with child #1 when running partner #2 ran by. She was going on a 3 mile run and wanted to know if I wanted to join her. Sure. Got out of pj's, quick stretch and went running for a "slow" 3 mile jaunt on two cups of coffee. Then it started raining. Ok I can deal. At mile two it was a downpour. After that the thunder and lightning came into play and somehow it rained harder. Slow was out and fast was in. If I were alone I would of ducked into shelter. We didn't. We got back home in 30+ minutes. I never got the final count since I'm watchless. She claimed it was about 3.2 miles. I knew she was clueless. By the time I got inside the tv was warning us to stay indoors because of the severe thunderstorms. (a little better notice next time would be nice) My friend called. We ran 3.84 miles in 8:43 pace. What? Not bad eh? I had to stop at 25 min for a quick walk and squeeze of the shirt. But I'm impressed that I hung in there.

Funny story:

Me: "You like my Nicole Richie sunglasses?"
Hubby: "You look like Lauren Bacall"
Me: "I do?!" (thinking "wow I'm so hot and my husband is so nice)
Hubby: an OLD Lauren Bacall
Me: Throw paper towel at him and exit stage left, wondering how the hell he got me?

What's even better is that Lauren Bacall (and Ben Kinsley) were on the Sorprano's later and we got a pretty good laugh at the whole episode. It was one of the best epi's I've seen in awhile too.

So that's it! Have to get my dear daughter to Brownies and take an hour walk with child #3. I want to power walk, but child #2 will want to ride his bike with us and since he refuses to part with the training wheels it will be a slow walk with a lot of complaining. (unfortunetly he takes after me)

Where is the bug?

Do you know how I can find it? I'm looking for the "running bug". He/she seems to have left my home and is now living at my neighbor's house. Can I steal him back? I'm so jealous. Not of her accomplishments, weight loss and the ability to kick my ass now...I just want the desire back. She looks awesome (lean like a real runner) is doing tempo runs (her "they are so fun!" me--"what?!"), is training for a marathon relay, then a half marathon and after that a full marathon in disney world. Have I mentioned I'm jealous? Not of the marathon, just of the joy. I had that joy. I had it last year. I just lost it in the month before the half. I NEED it back.

I've been running 3 miles in under 30 for the past two weeks. I haven't attempted 4 miles, b/c I'm not used to needing water during my runs. It's been so warm (80) that I'm sweating like crazy and getting dehydrated after 3 miles. I need to up my water intake before runs also.

Next day:

Ok. I had to quit the post b/c there was a fight of some sort b/twn all the kids. Ugh.

I've had time to think of where I was and how to get back there. Detox is the answer. I've been eating crappy and this is the first change I have to make in my life. No more alcohol (w/the exception of a party next Saturday), no candy, cake, bad carbs etc..water, water, water. I need to do longer slow runs. No more ironman timing watch. It's gone. Or if I have to wear it no more splits. Run routes where I have no idea where mile 1 or mile 4 is.

My friend mentioned above ran a 5k yesterday and has not beat my PR time. There is still hope. See I haven't lost my competitive spirit. It's still there under the brownie I just ate.

I'm back.

Square 5

That's where I am. Square f'n 5. Which I must say is better than square stinkin 1. Here are my squares:

1. Walking 1 hour 3x a week. Overweight
2. Walking with spurts of running and sprinting
3. Running 3 miles without stopping
4. Running 3 miles in 30 - 34 minutes.
5. Running 3 miles in under 30 minutes.

I have been running 3 miles in under 30 minutes (today was 27.30) for this week (3x) I can NOT believe I ran 13.1 miles a month ago in under 2 hours. My legs just feel thick while I run. My cardio could be better also. I'm doing much more walking which is keeping the weight off and keeping my body is somewhat shape. It's hard to run while the kids are at soccer b/c I would; have to run with a stroller, (ugh) leave one child (age 5) on the playground alone for 20 minutes, then take child #2 to his field and p/u child #1 from her field and leave her on the playground while I start-up and finish again. I can't run with running partner #2 b/c she is to damn fast for me and her 3 mile runs are her short runs. (oh, how I remember those days...like 35 days ago!!!) So I am back to running at night after hubby gets home. I'm also back to running the same old, same old route which is driving me batty. If I can just get back up to 4 miles I will feel like I'm accomplishing something.

I have decided that cyclists are snobs also. I used to be a cyclist (had the whole get-up) and I would wave to runners. When I wave to these guys they don't even bother grunting off a hi. So I've become a running snob. I will only acknowledge other runners. I'm sure all the cyclists in my state are bummed about that. Maybe if I put on a blond wig they would wave. Hmmm.

My kids are good. Child #3 got into the hot pink paint and was covered head to toe. He put paint all over his sisters hardwood floors, then proceeded to go down the hardwood stairs, and touch every spindle on the way down. All while wearing his new Easter outfit. Of course I did not get a picture. He has pink fingernails and toenails and there is still some pink in his hair. I wanted to kill him. This is about a month after he got into the gold paint. I thought I had the lid on the can tight, but being two he is quite crafty. He ended up in the bath tub fully clothed with a lot of screaming. So now I have to repaint her door and the spindles. I think I'll get to it by next year.

Running? What's that? Ok so I do two runs on Sunday and haven't even contemplated doing another run for the future. I did go walking with child #3 in the stroller for about an hour the other night. I forgot how much I like walking. All walkers were "losers" when I was running, so I guess I'm back to being a loser. One of the male runners in my neighborhood past me and I was extremely jealous. Later while I walked by his house I saw him doing sprints in his backyard. Very interesting. While walking I get to think about lot's of things. For example:

I should walk more before I start running. I can really feel my muscles losen/warm up on the walk. Instead of walking 20 steps before I go running, maybe do 5 minutes of warm-up walking.

Why does the professional landscaper have the absolutely worst yard in the neighborhood?

Why do the new neighbors who have two summer homes in Stone Harbor, NJ (very $$$$$) make the winter home the most white trash, discusting house in our neighborhood in a matter of months? (fake plastic looking white brick mailbox, plastic kmart shed, cut down every beautiful tree on lot with the exception of some shabby crab apple trees, ohhh...but wait, keep the tree stumpS about 4+ feet tall so you can put flower planters on them (WTF?), and put a long plastic tube has a handrail on your path to the house. ARGH.

Why is my sons sponge bob underwear on our front yard? Looks like we are white trash family #2.

Yesterday I battled a migraine. Of course I missed all the classic signs. Naseaus and chills. I just assumed it was pms. By the time the migraine hit I was too late with my meds. I took my last pill when I realized what was happening. One REAL coke later and I was out. (caffiene is the best thing for a budding migraine) The pill did stop the 3 day residue pain from hanging around. My doctor wasn't in this morning to fill another script, so I asked the receptionist if it was Ok for me to go to the ER in case of another one. Needless to say she found a free sample for me.

I got on the scale this morning and I'm still the same weight. I DO realize that my muscle is slowly turning into fat. I have to start running again! Walking is fine and I did that once a week for 2 miles while my kids biked around last year. I want to become obsessed with beating my PR of 24.30 minutes for a 5k again. My goal during the half training was to run a 5k in 22 minutes this September. It is still obtainable if I get my flabby gut in gear soon. These April showers haven't helped much either. I haven't been eating great lately. Breakfast and lunch are fine. It's just the 3:00 snack and dinner that have been lacking. (can you say RITZ crackers? oreo cookies? bryers ice cream? vino? miller lite?) I need to turn it all around. Mondays are usually good for that.

2 runs in one day (sunday)

Yes I am still nuts. My first run was a trail run. I went running w/partner #1 who is still on the mend from foot surgery in February. It was a slow 20 minute run with me doing the final hill at a sprint. Later that day partner #2 (who is training for a marathon relay) called and wanted to know if I wanted to go running with her. She was doing 5.24 miles slow. I told her I would run 3 miles b/c I don't feel up to 5 yet and her last two miles are on the road from hell. So much for a slow run. She just lost 15 lbs (probably about 120 to my 144) and she kicked my butt. I'm not used to this people. She ended up doing 5.24 in 43 minutes. (8.12 min pace, ACK) Fuck. I have to get back on the ball. I'm happy with my weight and being a size 8. At 120 I would look pretty gaunt. Well at least her kicking my ass will keep me training.

My 3rd child will be adding an early childhood developement specialist to his speech therapist. I have no idea what is going on. He's tripping all over the place, zoning out etc. He has low muscle tone in his face which they think is in the upper portion of his body also. I don't get this low muscle tone quandry at all. This kid has an arm like you wouldn't believe and he is strong as hell. I will take all the specialists the state offers though. I'm just in "freak-out" mode on how much worse things are getting. I just want him to be normal and healthy. I'm so sick of explaining to people about why he doesn't talk and drools all the time. Actually it's not as bad as it sounds. I just get sad when I see other kids his age who talk in complete sentences and i'm just excited b/c david can say "hi, cookie, peas (for please) bye, bye, hey and go." It would be even more exciting if he could put two different words together. When you sit in these evaluation meetings you realize how behind your child is. Of course david decides to stick all the toys in his mouth which I don't think he's done since he was 1. I kept saying, "he can do that" "he knows what a dog is" when he failed at both tests. She wouldn't give me points (which I understand) b/c she didn't see it. I felt like yelling "well if you didn't have a toy truck in here you might have gotton more of his attention" Then I think she was concerned about his obsession with playing with a truck. He's a boy! He loves trucks and cars. He would play with them over tv any day of the week. I need to stop my ranting on this, I just need to go with the flow.

Back to running. I'm going to start building back up to 4-5 miles. Start adding sprints into my runs, hill training and trail running.