Things that make me mad

There is a long list, but this is one of the top ones.

People who waste my time. Now, this might be more my problem, because I was not born with the genetic dna that holds the patience gene. It got lost in the shuffle. I have no patience. I will admit that. It is a problem of mine. I have learned to deal with it. I count to 10, I do breathing exercies, I make fun of you in my head, I talk under my breath and I think I'm really good at "the look" I give you people.

So last week, Julia and I do a mommy-daughter day (a trip to Justice) and we decided to stop at the strip mall and hit up ACMoore. Since we live on the East Coast there are 30ft wide and tall piles of snow everywhere (I'm exaggerating a little bit) that take up a lot of the available parking. We get lucky and see these women getting ready to leave. Wait, back-up, putting their bags in the car. They see us. One is 30 and the other is her mom and I think there was a kid in a stroller. I put my turn signal on and wait. And wait. And wait. By this time I feel words being formed. Words, my daughter doesn't really need to hear. (mother fuckers was about to come out) so I tell J, lets see how long these people take to put their bags in the car and acutally leave. We watch the clock. Four minutes past and at that time they finally got the stroller in. They knew we were there, they kept looking at us. 20 feet closer to the store I saw a car pull out of a spot. So I do what any mother with her first born in the car does. I floor it past the bitches and get a spot closer to the store. Too bad those ladies went out the other end, because Julia had a great idea to walk in the middle of the lot really slow. She needs to stop hanging out with me. FYI, it took us 30 seconds to get in the car and put it in reverse (with our bags). We are that good.

Today at the grocery store I go to the self checkout. The guy using it has a kid in the cart and he takes way to long to finish. For example "ok, I'm going to run my card through", "it's processing". I'm being patient. Then he gets the receipt (which again he anounces to the child) Did I mention there is a line forming? Then he reviews said receipt! I'm pretty sure he told the kid the price of every single item as it was being run up. At this point I say "dear God" under my breath, (and to the guy behind me). I mean come on dude, there is a line and you bought pretzels and bread.

Anyhow I don't like slow people. Don't even get me started on those Buicks on the backroads. Don't they know when I'm in my 4 cylinder, stick shift, Pontiac Vibe I like to think I'm in Nascar? Get off the track.

Yes stupid problems and complaints, but I feel better.

the nerve

of a neighbor. So this neighbor calls our home this afternoon looking for Joe. I told him that he was at the library with the kids. Do you know that old man went to the library and looked for him!!! Joe was pissed (at me) for telling neighbor where he was. Actually neighbor asked me where Joe was. Seems neighbor needs Joe to drive to Home Depot and help him move some cabinets or some other crap to his home. Home Depot is a good half hour away in traffic. It is snowing like crazy here too. Of course my husband is driving neighbor to Home Depot to get cabinets. Joe is nice that way.

After our SUV dies, we aren't getting another one. Somehow I will get a 4 wheel drive vehicle that only seats 5 people. An SUV, but not a SUV, do they make those? A cross over vehicle, that's cool. I'd prefer a 4 door jeep at this point. That or Joe just has to start saying NO.

Monday complaints

I wish my father would find a way to get his free samples from his doctor instead of me trying to locate them on the internet. It's a pain in the ass!

When I leave the morning the house is clean. When I get back the following has happened:

Everything under the sink has been removed because there "might" have been a leak.
The dishwasher has been emptied and lots of it is just laying around the countertops. DON"T empty it then!
The den has a fort in it.
My aloe vera plant that is on an end table is now laying on the couch on it's side.
Any toy that was put away is laying willy-nilly on the den floor.
My father has spilled a liquid and has walked in it 1,521 times with his hiking boots. My kitchen floor is black.
Every newspaper we get is strewn accross the lower level of our home.

On a personal level I have to complain about the following:

My closest friend is now an exercise, body dysmorphic crazy lady. She eats clean (which is all good) but spends way too much time at the gym. Time she should be spending with her daughter. (that's a story that is too long to post) Her trainer is a certified, white trash, natzi loving, racist. Did I mention my friend works for a non-profit whose motto is "Eliminating racism......." She is the 3rd highest in the totem pole. She see's nothing wrong with this loser facebook page. He's not like that, he's just interested in the World War II. My husband is interested in WWII. He doesn't glamorize the enemy and their agenda. My husband can also spell the word Palestine. This ass spells it Palestein. Yes, it took him 6 years to graduate high school. He wears Ed Hardy douchwear, talks about girls giving him blowjobs and juicing his "muscle" with their.....oh you get it. He's 39 also. My 9 year old son is more mature. I just can't wrap my mind around why she is still training with this guy. I honestly don't know why she is still paying for training when she is broke and knows what she is doing in the gym.

Regarding the new job. The girl (2 before me) kinda just stopped doing work. Today I found a credit card statement from June that was never entered. Whenever I feel caught up something comes out of nowhere and I have to stop and put the fire out. It's crazy, but I love it.

Seriously

would it kill this family to let me be alone in this house for 60 minutes?

OMG

Am I the only human who wants a flip (clamshell) phone with a qwerty keyboard? I don't want a candy bar shaped phone. I have the Envy and I'm always dialing some unknown number with my purse. I love to text and I don't want to go back to the letters on the number keys. I don't want a blackberry either. Why should I check my email and pay an extra $30+ per month when the computer is in the next room? I found the perfect phone, but it's only available on the Sprint network and around here that network sucks.

Yeah, this is a stupid vent. I just really hate my cell phone.

My daughter will never wear this shirt as long as I'm alive.



I see her little friends wearing it. Seriously, when you see that shirt what is the first thing that comes to mind? Could it be BITCH? That is what comes to my mind. I really hate this shirt. Maybe it's more of I don't want my daughter to get caught up in labels. I don't, but I have no problem with her wearing an shirt that says Abercrombie. I wish she would get that this company's sweat shop is probably right next the Kohls and Target's department store sweat shop.

No!

Two posts in one day. I just got an email to save the date for a family reunion. What the fuck people. They (husband's family) have a fucking reunion every fucking year. You know what I do at the family reunion? I sit in the house and watch fucking baseball. I don't even like baseball. Let me backtrack...I like baseball now because the Phillies are in the race for the pennant. (is that what it's called? ...Whatever World Series) I don't go outside because usually the day of the reunion is 100% humidity and direct sunlight (remember I am a vampire) I don't feel like hearing about the "old times". I don't care about the old times. I don't know half the people there. I end up yucking it up with my nieces and nephews (who are the only fun ones there because they are all in their 20s)

You know what. I'm not going. So there!

letters to the family

Dad,

There is this thing called a plate. You put your toast on it, THEN cut it and eat off THE plate. Also, I really don't care about Bank of America dividends.

Tommy and David,

We have had this conversation 1,000th's of times. You don't wear jeans ONCE and then expect me to wash them. You wear your jeans 20x THEN I wash them. Be a little more like your mom. It really pissed me off when I came in your room and saw this...........

You do realize that laundry basket was empty on SUNDAY! I'm going to start charging each of you 25 cents when I find unworthy jeans in the laundry basket.

Julia,

You tell your teacher YOU forgot your homework because your house is messy. Listen sister, you have papers strewn throughout the house. In the living room, kitchen, dining room and den. I've already recycled your homework once please learn your lesson and keep everything in one place. Also I'm sick of those little, strange, big headed girls you draw. Why must each one be cut into a little square. I threw them out. Whoops.

Felix,

You are a cat. Not a dog.



Joe,

The dryer IS NOT YOUR CLOTHES drawer. You do realize that it would be easier on you to put dry clothes in your bedroom rather then coming downstairs to get clean clothes. Oh and please clean out the cars. Example, when you take the dog on training runs in the creek, remove all the camoflauge thing-a-ma-jigs out of my car. There is a seat cushin and big-ass waders in there. My car smells like wet feet, wet dog and I think ass.

Seriously

I have been sick for close to three weeks. (side note: I finally went to the doctor and received antibiotics and cough medicine for the bacterial infection and touch of bronchitis I had....I am feeling much better!) Ok so for at least the past one (1) week I haven't had much solid food. I've been living on green tea with lemon, a protein shake (or 2) a day and saltines. Friday, I finally had some egg salad, whole wheat toast, a cookie, turkey chilli and half a brownie. This morning before I go to the gym I decide to weigh myself. I haven't lost one fucking pound! What is up with that? I didn't expect to see a 5lb loss or anything that drastic, but a 2lb loss would of been nice. Let's not even get into the bowel movement I had this morning from having real food 24 hours earlier.

Well at least I'm pissed off. I see a serious workout in the next hour.

The biggest of them all

I love my father. I really do. He is great to us. He sits our children for free, watched our children when I was working part-time, then full-time, cuts our grass and is always trying to fix things with caulk. He is great and I don't know how I would of done it without him.

Thing is ...... he is at our home every, singe day. Every. Single. Day. Why? The children are all in school and I am unemployed. I am never in our house alone. Never. Ever. Him being here every, single day is my biggest bitch. I just want one day in this house by myself. To do what? I don't know, watch bad T.V., clean, pick my nose I just want to sit in the den and do something, nothing, whatever. At this point every thing pisses me off. He wears his hiking boots and dirties up my floor. If he isn't wearing them he's walking bare foot in my house. (seriously he can't win) He sits in our den and watches MSNBC until the kids come home. (you see why I'm depressed)

He thinks the internet is a magical being where I can find all pieces of weird information. I had to search for the size of his polyp in his colon and find how rare that size was. All I could find were medical journals that made no sense.

When I come home from working out, or volunteering I usually can learn: some obscure story that was in the NYTimes, what some idiot politician said on MSNBC, that "you people" (me and joe) have not bought, are out of or misplaced, his latest bill for surgery and what medicaid/medicare has paid out for said surgery.

He is in the den right now reading the paper and watching MSNBC. Did you know that we can't watch TV in this house on Sundays? He tapes every political talk show known to man. With a DVR you can tape two shows at a time, but you must watch one of them. We have been yelled at for watching tv on a Sunday. God forbid he missed something on Meet the Press.

He gets really upset when the mailman is late. He use to open our mail (by mistake he claims). I don't have our mail sent to our home anymore. It's all online.

He will sit here until the kids get off the bus. Then he will leave. If Joe takes the all the children on a hike or to play in the creek with the dog my dad will be here within 5 minutes of leaving. In all honesty I asked my husband if I was on suicide watch. (this is when I lost my job and was extremely upset) None of this pisses Joe off. Joe is cool. Speaking of Joe, once my father left (it was Saturday afternoon) so we decided to have a bit of "afternoon delight". Thank God we were not loud. (at least I don't think we were) We were almost finished and I heard someone downstairs. Yep, you guessed it...my dad. He drove to the bank, because the mailman was late.

Fucking mailman.