November 1st

is the day I get my ass in gear. I start running, going to the gym and eating better foods. Basically cut out the cookies. Everything else is fine. It shouldn't be to hard or much of a change in my diet.

I haven't really put on any weight (well the summer 5-10lbs) I've just lost my muscle. I feel quite flabby. I'm not looking forward to the first run in weeks. I just have to get it out of the way and things will fall into place.

My leg is much better. He gave me prescription strength alleve. I can now bend my leg and honestly I could of run yesterday, but thought it better to let the leg heal completely before working it. The bruise on my other leg is horrendous. Totally discusting.

Halloween is tonight. I seem to be throwing a party before the festivities begin. In less than 12 hours I will have a very happy witch, grim reaper (crack me up!) and power ranger. I "heart" halloween!

Whoops

I'm not even sure how I did that.

Ah well.

Twisted my knee very badly. No walking, running or swimming. Injury happened while I was running out to the truck to get my purse at 9pm. Forgot that large metal basket hitch was hooked up from tailgating earlier in day. Ended up face down in basket. One leg is bruised the other doesn't work.

Good times.

Open Letter

Dear Twat,

Hello. I'm curious, are you proud of yourself? Does it feel good to go after a married man with children? Is it empowering? Does it make you feel good? Was he not leaving his wife fast enough? Was that why you wrote him a 4 page love letter and left it in his car. Your plan worked, because his wife found the letter and kicked him out of the house.

Now if it were my husband your sweet life would of been severly disrupted. First and foremost I would of confronted you. Next I would of mailed you pictures of our family. Then I would of gone to corporate and told them all about you. My friend did not do any of the above. I must say she is a better person than me. She never called you, was nice to her husband, tried to work it out with him. You do have it nice that way. No confrontation to deal with.

Now we see who is giving her husband legal advice. How mighty dumb of you. It was crazy that she had to procure receipts for going to the grocery store. Then, what a hoot... he would itemize the receipt to what was in the house. Even better he would accuse her of making meals for her friends. How dare she shop at Walmart too. Do the boys really need clothes that bad? Who would of thought to empty all the bank accounts, take her off the joint credit cards? Was that to force her to get a job? Surely having two children under the age of 3, it should be easy to find a well paying job in this climate that will pay for daycare and other essentials. She told him she needed diapers and wipes. He replied

"I will drive down with them, when you need something for the boys I will buy it."

He would now do all her grocery shopping too. You'll show her.

We especially loved the email you "mistakenly" sent to her. How funny. (seriously it was funny) He wanted to know what my friend was buying their son for his birthday so he didn't get the same thing. Now I would of emailed back... "well if I had a penny to my name I would buy him something, but since you have emptied out our bank account...." that's just me. She emails back

"I don't know what I am getting him yet. If you buy the same thing just return it"

Your reply: (why he forwards her email to you.....i'll never know)

"That bitch! You should tell her that you and Chrissy have more important things to do than return gifts!"

Ok let us laugh. (ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.)

First there was nothing bitchy in her email.

Second why does he have to bring your name into it? Aren't you secure in your place?

Third, what pray tell are you too busy doing? What important things can a 20 something have to do? I have some pretty good ideas, but, well they are just bitchy.

Now are you the one (or maybe this is all him) who demands that she be back by 9 pm on her one day during the week out. (his one day during the week with HIS children) We laugh (again) at his quote

"I'm not a babysitter, you WILL be back by 9 pm"

No you are their father. She is home 4 nights a week with her (your) children. She is a mother. Who could be so stupid to say that line? We know if she does come back at 9 she will end up being the "babysitter". (what we like to call a MOTHER) Does it make you mad that a family member comes at 9 so she can have more time out?
I think my friend has done the most amazing thing. She has ignored you. She is trying to ignore her husband also. That's hard when you have two children and he is trying to control you. Don't worry young thing the divorce will be final in months.

Now what are your plans? Marriage? Are your parents wealthy? That'll help. Children? Were your planning on them? With him? Is that your dream? Nice. Oh wait...he had a vasectomy. Whooops...you knew that didnt' you? That's ok....there are sperm banks, China girls, African babies...hey even foster children. Then, maybe you'll be too busy to return gifts.

You know I was really worried about my friend. Worried she wouldn't come through this. I'm not sure why. She is strong, fiesty, smart, remarkable, beautiful and this situation has had an amazing effect on her. I wonder if you would be so strong when it (does) happen to you.

Sincerely,

The neighbor

ps. I kicked his ass in running. He's 4 years younger than me and I smoked him. What a loser.

typical

Of course.

Of course I watched HGTV's "25 Decorating disasters" last night.

Of course 2 of my rooms were decorating disasters.

Of course I haven't taken a shower in 48 hours.

Of course I didn't put a bra on b/c I had some sweat equity to put in today.

Of course I got my two rooms in order.

Of course summer is still here (why wouldn't it be?)

Of course my summer clothes are packed away.

Of course the first thing I grabbed is a jean skirt 2 sizes to big.

Of course I went to the supermarket in ratty jean skirt, no bra and "sweat equity" XC race shirt.

Of course I have no make-up on and my hair in a ponytail. (flyaway frizzy curly hair of course)

Of course I run into old boyfriend.

Of course I didn't realize it was old boyfriend until I was practically on top of his cart.

Of course I slinked throughout the rest of my shopping running and hiding.

Of course I got the new checker.

Of course she wasn't to bright.

Of course I went to the store in my tiny cheap car. Not my big SUV that screams I'm a suburban mom who rides her truck on the beach on weekends and I'm cool.

Of course he saw all of this in his Audi.

Of course I can laugh this off because

It's typical.

Whine

about wine.

I know I shouldn't drink wine to excess. I learned my lesson 10 years ago.

I seemend to have forgotton that lesson Friday night.

4 girls, 6 bottles of whites and reds consumed.

I was told I couldn't sneak out. They would stop me if I did. (my signature move)

I tried to hide and snooze in the living room.

They found me.

I heard we danced.

I never met the porcelain goddess that night. Instead I met the bathroom floor. Problem is I didn't know where my friend kept the cleaning supplies. I used toilet paper. I left it there.

I understand that it looked like a crime scene.

The next morning I walked up to her house.

I had forgotton that my other friend and I threw her husband's shoes out the window in our drunken stupor the night before. Could not stop laughing. Why? It had poured that night, there was a cricket in one shoe and a slug in the other. (short version - her (soon to be ex)husband is an asshole)

I don't think 3 girls in my neighborhood will drink wine for a very long time.

Friday

It is October 19th.

It is 5 pm.

I am running my air conditioner.

The end.

Broke down

and I'm joining the Y. I might as well. Julia is joined up at $17.5o per month. I'm signing David up at $17.50 so I will have to do T as well which comes to 52.50. So wth...another $27.50 and I can do whatever I need to do there. I'm thinking yoga and maybe some laps. Hubman can also go. Not that he will...he is so not the health club, play basketball type of guy. Not that he isn't in fantastic shape (he is) it's just not his thing. Playing baseball, football and tackling the kids, dog that's his thing. (and sitting in a hunting blind...but that's not really activity is it?)

I also broke down and let my neighbor adjust my back. On one condition though. Do NOT touch my neck, don't turn my neck, touch the area near my neck. Stay away from my neck. That whole neck crack thing freaks me out. He was set up in the basement, told me to relax (we needed to wait for me to relax) and somehow he did something with two hands on my back and I swear I heard 6 cracks on one side. My friend was watching (cause she knows chriropractory scares the crap out of me) and I understand that I shot one leg out and said that was GREAT. He did the other side, same cracks and I felt awesome. Now I need my lower back done.

On a side note: I think if I spanked my son in the grocery store this morning the employees would of given me a standing ovation. I was getting "those" looks people give you when your child is in the middle of a tantrum. Long story short he was a mess, I was a mess (it wasn't even 9 am) I had to carry him at times, other times I left him yelling in the aisle. At one point I had to wrestle his legs from kicking my shins while carrying him, my big ass purse and the snacks I purchased for his class. Yes this is the same store they shut down and called a Code Adam on him.

Yep. Happy times folks, happy times.

Then on the way to school (3 minutes later) he is all chatty with me like nothing ever happened. Mommy this, mommy that. Huh? Yes I am joining the Y. I hope the have a boxing class.

Fast decluttering

I ran today. I ran 3+ miles. In the summer heat I was running about 9:40 pace. Today in the fall sun I ran a 9:02 pace. I pushed myself harder than normal. Had some small hills and my feet felt like they were a size 20 shoe, but I ran fast(er) than those slow summer times. Yea!

During my summer siesta (September and October) I have:

Given 4 large bags of clothes to charity.


Donated old books to another charity.


Dontated all old sheets, pillows, towels, blankets and other doggie stuff to the humane society.


Have a large laundry basket filled with clothes to sell at a fundraiser for my son's preschool. Whatever doesn't sell gets donated.

Realized while shopping for Tom Collins drink glasses that as consumers we are being sold so much crap that we don't need. And yes I need the Tom Collins drink glasses b/c I like "the Collins" and there is nothing better than diet coke in one of those glasses.

Realized that my dog is eating my pricey tulip bulbs that I just freakin planted. Does this mean she is going to grow a tulip out her a** this spring or will one just flow from her poop?

Green days

Take daughter to swim team practice.

Run 2.57 miles on a very hilly route. Try to avoid downhill running at all costs. Would of ran longer, but all that was left was downhills.

Watch daughter swim and dive. The YMCA has a fantastic swim team program. The improvement is amazing.

Do 4 loads of wash. Be green and hang three loads on the line to dry. Dry the towels in the dryer.

Reclycle 4 large bins of paper, plastic, cans, bottles and batteries.

Clean all three children's rooms. Put summer clothes away for the last time.

Enjoy the weather immensely.

"say Vandelay, say Vandelay!"

"And you want to be my latex salesman!"

Ok unless you are in your mid-to late 30's and older and a Seinfeld junkie you don't get it.

Shhh..... it's seems fall has arrived. We don't want to jinx it. I haven't run. I will run (which seems to be mentioned in every post) My mood is great...i somehow dropped 2 lbs. I don't know how since I've eaten sleeve after sleeve of spiced wafer cookies.

Gotto do a hayride with the kids right now!

Friday morning

Wake up late. Which is 7:30 am. Go downstairs. This is what I see.

Family room: My children watching cartoon network. (which is not the cartoons I approve of) Youngest on floor with no underwear on. Dog laying near son eating said underwear.

I go into the bathroom and I have luggage under my eyes. I have never looked so bad.

We have no milk. Youngest can't have cereal and he is pissed off. Make do and give him cereal with half and half and water. Loves it.

Dog comes in with my running sock in her mouth. Will NOT drop it. Will NOT open mouth. I can't even pry mouth open. Somehow I remove sock.

It is 79 in the house and 69 degrees outside. How is this possible?

Get lunches ready, start to drip in sweat. Kids brushed their teeth without me asking. This is a first.

Hang laundry. It starts to drizzle/rain.

Get kids on bus. Youngest wants chocolate milk. Explain again that we have no milk. Youngest is pissed off AGAIN. Offer Sunny D. He is happy. I would like to know what is in Sunny D. What ingrediant in it when spilled will not come out of carpet. I have the best carpet cleaners money can buy. I know all the tricks of getting wine stains out (damp salt) and any stain imaginable for that matter. Sunny D...I haven't figured it out.

Made it into work. The AC is on.

Happiness.

(** did you know that 12 years ago or so I was in Egypt ... it was 117 degrees on the Nile. I was on the boat tanning for about an hour. I spent close to two weeks in the hot, blinding sun and it didn't bother me. I was contemplating this on the way to work. I find it fascinating)

Never say Never

"I refuse to bring my summer clothes back out."

Mmmm-hmmmm. What was I doing last night and this morning? Going under the bed and getting my summer clothes back out? Yes you would be correct. I want to take my fist and put it through the television and smack the smiles off the weathermen/ladies face when they smile excitedly about the high temps and the records we will be breaking in the next 5 days. I personally think they should be running around, screaming in the weather center about this heat wave in October.

I went walking with my friend last night and the first thing she said to me was "isn't this weather the best!?!" When I didn't answer right away.... she said "i forgot, you hate summer" She's a true summer girl. Me a winter girl.

The truly only good thing that has come out of this is that I've about organized every nook and crany in my home. If the heat wave continues I think I will learn carpentry. It's either that or start scrapbooking for the youngest.

I think I posted this last summer.

Summers were always the worst time, the long, exposing days, the relentless sunlight revealing the cracks, invading the darkest corners. Each autumn, as children appeared on the streets in their slightly too-large school uniforms, as the nights began to eat into the days, my lungs would fill with the damp air of relief.
People often ask me when I first became ill, a question I find impossible to answer. There was no single moment like breaking an arm; no malarial mosquito. Mental illness, in my experience, has no beginning as such, but a gnawing inevitability eating through the very foundations of one’s existence — or that’s how it feels. Each summer seemed more precarious, each autumn a more miraculous survival. I changed jobs regularly, moved to a new flat every few months, constantly shifting, like one on the run, anxious to avoid detection.---Clare Allen

I will not end up in a mental institution like the author. I did not post the rest of the essay b/c her decline into mental illness is not pretty.


I'm not saying I have a summer mental illness either. I can handle summer. I can go to the pool, hang outside with the kids, do swim meets in the blazing sun. I can manage. What I can't seem to grasp is a heat wave in October.

Indian summers are heat waves in September. I have lived in the same state my entire life. I remember jeans and sweaters right about now. Going to football games and drinking hot chocolate. I don't remember wearing summer tank tops and drinking ice cold water and sweating profusely in October. I think this is the first year that we will turn our airconditioner on in October. How sad is that?

As always I will try to end on a happy note. I do get better as the day goes on. (as long as I'm in the wood paneled room with the blinds shut) no seriously.... my son's teacher had a talk with him and the little girl and though it was involved things seem much better. We will get the whole story tonight from the teacher. I'm very pleased with my daughter's progress in the winter swim team league. This YMCA is fantastic and I can see the improvement in a short two weeks of practice. David is getting much better. Still likes to drop bowel movements outside (which I should videotape b/c it does crack me up...but I don't want to encourge this) He is a dare devil at age 3. Scares the heck out of me on his big wheel daily. The dog...still eating socks, lolipops, trash, you name it. Ready for the hunt though.

bitch

My monthly bitch post.

The situation with my son has sorta been resolved. I will find out more on Thursday at a parent teacher meeting that had been scheduled before we discovered about the queen bees.

My period is about 6 days late. I'm not pregnant since my husband took care of his male junk. I've done all that I can do to bring it on. Wear my pretty panties, light colored pants, nice sheets.....nothing is working. Hence the bitch post.

I've decided that summer will end sometime in the month of December. Today the temp is 70 (9am) with 90% humidity. The next 7 days it will be 85 or so. It is OCTOBER. I live North of the Mason Dixon line. I refuse to bring my summer clothes back out. Instead I will "up" the anxiety meds. Maybe that is why I'm late. I'm stressed over the weather. Our community is going to have to rethink closing the pools down in September. Seriously. We could go swimming this weekend.

I have not run since Saturday. I did get a power walk in Monday night. My leg is feeling better and I will either get another run in on Friday or sometime this weekend. Obviously it will have to be an early morning run since it is still summer here.

I've been informed that we desperately need a new roof. That will cost anywhere from $10k to $15k. Nice.

My home is super organized though. That actually brings my stress level down dramatically. I know where everything is. You want tape? I got it. You want glue? It's with the tape. You want a stapler? I know where it is. Scissors....they are all right here! Paper, what ever you want I know where it is. No more searching and pulling my hair out. I rule....and I know where the ruler is too!

School

Last night my 6 year old son asked to speak to me privately (exact words) We went into his room and he informed that he wanted to transfer out of n___ school. I asked why. It started out with the naming of three girls who make fun of him b/c of what he puts in his in-house school journal. (train drawings) One girl is captain until 10/31 and he doesn't want to go back until she is not captain.

The second was a girl (in above group) who chases him at recess. We both had heard of this and actually made fun of it b/c we assumed this girl had a crush on him. It seems she gets her jollies by tormenting him.

The third (which he came down while I was emailing the teacher) was that he can't read and all the other kids can. He claims first grade is too hard. If there were a problem with him being so far behind the teacher would of informed me. Right? I've already emailed her about his dislike of first grade and asked her if he was doing well in class. She emailed me back that he was a great kid and keeping up just fine.

This morning my husband and I had a talk with Tommy again. My husband left for work. I went through Tommy's school folder and found what I think is disturbing. He had to draw a picture and write a sentence under it. He wrote his name, drew a picture of himself and his sentence was the following: "Nobody Likes What I Do" (please notice....the spelling is correct.) My heart just broke right then.

I emailed the teacher again (7:30 am) Now I am worried. I AM the type of mom that will NOT get into kid battles. You need to figure it out yourself. I WILL give you suggestions and lead you to the right/moral path. I want my children to be independent, to be able to take care of situations themselves b/c I won't always be there. But this .....his tears, the above picture-sentence, his fear, his mental stake (he physcially feels sick about going) has me really worried. I'm wondering if it's a combination of things or that these girls are just terrors.

That shit starts earlier and earlier. Last year Julia had her first run-in with these type of girls. She worked it out herself (with some words of wisdom from mom and dad) I always pictured Tommy has the stronger one. The kid that wouldn't take crap from anyone.

I just don't know. I want the teacher to email me back or for her get on the phone and call me.

Non important crap....my side has finally healed (thank you percaset for letting me get off the bed and couch finally) but my right side calf is sore b/c I twisted it on the same run. I'm sure it hurt on the weekend, but any pain below my gut ....well I didn't notice it.