2008 where are you?

Well the final crush of parties is here and I am DONE on January 2. No more innane conversation and all that. I could get into a whole blog post on the "my kids are the greatest", "we are so happy", "______ is hoping to get an $obnoxious bonus," "oh, well my kid did this funny thing, which is so much funnier than what you just told me" "I will top anything you say or do" .........................................Ok, ok, it's only a few people who bore me to death. But they always find me. I try to walk/run/hide but at some point in the night I find myself listening to their borish talk.

Christmas was great. I finally got the entertaining down. It's quite easy when you banish anyone and everyone from entering your kitchen. Heart of the Home?! Bullshit. Get out and let me work.

Hubby got a bit drunk on the suitcase of wine his sister brought over on the eve party. I thought it was my son snoring and an hour later I couldn't find Joe anywhere. What's it like to wake up Christmas morning and everything is done? Me? I have no idea what that is like. Then again I have no idea what it is like to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner on Christmas day. I did manage to get out of my pj's this year though.

My kids are kicking my butt on the wii. The exception being the 3 year old. Though he isn't bad at boxing.

My running is non-existent. Once these holidays are over and school is back in session I'm onto my training. Saturday I will get some info about doing a sprint tri. My cousin's wife offered me use of her bike last year and I think I will take her up on it. She does one of the Danskin tri's every year. I can't train with her b/c she and her friends train at the fancy-pancy health club, but I have always been better training by myself than with others.

I'm bored by this post. I'm turning into one of THEM.

I'll be back to normal in 2008. I always like even numbered years better.

What the hell................

Is this? See I told you I can't bake worth a damn. What the hell is a Jelly roll pan? Who has that? Maybe I should of googled "dimensions of a jelly roll pan" to see how big one is. Maybe they could of put on the directions 1/8" thickness for the roll? Maybe, maybe, maybe. But they didn't and I didn't. Yep. I applaud all of you who bake. The baking DNA strand must be missing in me.

Anatypia Brandy of the Wine (aka: Prettygirl) you really smell of marsh. Best tree topper ever! We used to have a black lab. This ornament cracks me up. My shiny brass: Table set for the older folks


And finally my video upload failed. (just like the my baking) A little Christmas cheer/laughter. Ah well.

Fool

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times!! I don't think so.

November 21st.
me: I'm ordering green beans and a tray of 'rabe and sausage.
him: I'll cook everything. Don't order.
me: (belly laugh) you go shooting every Christmas eve.
him: Not this year. Don't order I'll do it all. You don't have to do a thing.

November 24th.
me: Yes I would like to order the trays of the green beans almondie and the sausage and 'rabe.

December 18th.
him: I'm going shooting on Christmas eve.
me: What?
him: Don't worry I'll be back in time to cook the loin and help you out.

1/2hr later:
me: yes I would like to make an appointment for a facial and a hair cut. You're open Sunday! Great.
me: Shel let's go have some cocktails on Sunday.

me: Sweetie, I'll be out all day Sunday.
him: no problem.

See it all works out in the end. I'm just a pit poorer in the wallet for it.

I'm running Saturday and Monday morning. So there. Weather will be cooperating (no rain and cold) My personal cold is outta here also. Finally. The only exercise I've gotton is vacumming, and chasing my 3 year old (naked of course) around the house. I like to think of them as sprint training.

My fault (a vent)

Again it's all my fault.

It's my fault that when I looked at the clock it said 10:10. Sunday school starts at 10. My husband starts yelling at me : "why didn't you tell me?!" Then it's my fault my son can't find his school book, the Tahoe has no gas. It's my fault we are down to two checks. (actually that's UPS' fault) It's my fault that I'm sick and tired of giving the church $10 every week. I want to give them $5. My husband would rather bounce checks then give them less. (it has happened)

It can't be his fault that he played poker until late last night. He didn't win.

It's my fault for getting sick 2 weeks before Christmas.

It's my fault when he asked if WE were done Christmas shopping. I laughed and said "we?"

It's probably my fault that I'm not much into the Catholic Church anymore. How can I worship where pedophiles are hidden, those that hid them get sweet jobs in Vatican (bernard law) a place where I have to listen to a long winded old man tell me about the bible while I'm bored to tears.

It's my fault that David has decided to pee on the bathroom floor rather than the toilet. It's my fault that he prefers not to wear pants and I don't care.

I hate when we argue. It is a rare occasion. Like it is a rare occasion when I care that he makes the bed once a year and does HIS wash only 3x a year. I don't complain when he decides to clean and throw away my stuff and shove other shit in closets, cabinets and drawers. I have yet to complain about the second crockpot lid he has broken.

I don't complain when I make homemade wedding soup and he has to give tupperware tubs to his hunting friends filled to the brim with my soup. Heck I gave that guys wife the secret recipie. Sure it's hard, but quit being lazy and make it yourself. Get some College Inn broth and save 3 hours. Find small crappy meatballs and save yourself another 2 hours. Buy those little pasta circles and save yourself more time. Sure it'll taste like a canned version. Heck buy the canned version and viola save yourself 8 hours.

I think I have pms.

Ok I vented I feel a ton better. Off to make chicken stock. The meatballs were finished last night WITH the help of my two older children. They loved it and saved me about 1 hour of time. We had a great time discussing small meatballs, the difference between Locatelli cheese vs. Parmesean Cheese, cows, Santa, snow, reindeers etc. We even had more fun and laughs with our special Uncle Michael meatball. I'm going to make Italians out of them yet.

Sandy

Why do I have a picture of Sandy the squirrel from Sponge-Bob on my sidebar?

First and foremost I hate squirrels. They are rats with tails.

I also don't like Texas too much. It's very flat, very hot, very humid, I abhore their football team, their cheerleaders, their big hats and cowboy boots. I do love cowboys though. My husband has told me parts of Texas are great, but I must of been in the wrong part of town. It is a big state. It's not my fault I'd rather live North of the Mason Dixon line. (preferably Maine, where it is cold and they have a beach)

I love Sponge-Bob though. Which is unusual for a woman my age. I find the show hysterical. It's one of the shows I will watch with my kids. The only reason I let them watch it was because of the hoopla over Sponge-Bob being gay. I was told not to let my kids watch it, so I let them watch it. I'm that kind of mom.

So I put a picture of an animal I hate from a place I would never live on my web page. There is a story behind it though.

Notice she is wearing a purple bikini. I had a purple bikini once. It was my all-time favorite bikini. When I was younger (mid 20s) my future husband and I would go to Nascar races and hang in the infield. Which means you get to the track at 6 am, drink and eat food, drive into the infield with 100,000 or so it seems other fans and continue to drink a LOT of alcohol. Fun times people, fun times. So we (4 of us) decide to walk over to turn 1 before the race starts. Their is a car on the track. I'm wearing my purple bikini top with shorts. As we get to the turn a guy on a school bus yells out over a bull horn (to be heard over the car that has just passed and now it's eerily quiet)

'HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! IN THE PURPLE TOP! SHOW US YOUR TITS"

Everyone and I mean everyone with in 100 yards looks at me. Most are on top of their buses winabagos etc. My 3 friends, including my future husband run away. They run away! I'm left there standing with all eyes on me ("will she take off her top?)

No I didn't. Instead I found my future husband and yelled at him to go beat that guy up.

He didn't.

So there is your story for the day.

I might be changing the picture soon. I'm a bit bored by it and by Sponge-Bob also.

I have no exercise whatsoever to post either. My 10 mile race is out for January. I'm completley bummed. I'm not in top shape to do it. I can't do it half assed either. I'm throwing around sprint tri in my head. I just need to figure out the bike portion of it. Like "where to get a bike, bike outfit and shoes" for nothing. I'm kicking myself for giving my last bike away and donating the rest to Goodwill. What was I thinking?

Probably thinking of cowboys.

I'm sick.

I lost 2 lbs (of muscle)

I watched housewives of Orange County last night. How sad. I have never seen so much boobage, spoiled children, botox faces and pathetic people in a long time.

So I moved my sick butt into the living room, turned the lights out and looked at the Christmas tree and was thankful for my family and my life.

Then I woke up more sick to fighting, screaming children. It's still better then the OC life.

We disagree and suckage

Tommy and I. Which is not something new. Currently I owe him $9,450 for it. (that includes my lies to him) Go figure.

Anyhow our latest disagreement...who loves this show more. Have you seen it? I'm in love with Bear. How could I not be in love with a man named Bear. A man's man. Have you ever met a man who eats a fish alive (you chomp into the spine btw) a man who will eat a frog alive (just chew the head off) a man who gets totally naked in front of the camera man and does NOT care (it's blurred out btw) A man who loves his wife and kids with all his heart? Tommy just likes to see him make fire and eat yucky stuff. We now know how to survive in the desert, Patagonia, the Columbia jungle and other amazing places. Even my husband likes Bear. That and the guy from Dirty Jobs. He would drink with the dirty jobs guy and hunt in the wild with Bear.

Ah a man's man.

Got the wii. Set it up the mii's for all of us. (don't feel like wasting time xmas day) So I decided to play Tennis. First and foremost...I suck at any game involving a ball.

Volleyball? Please, you expect me to hit that hard ball coming at me 30 mph? No way sucker.

Golf? How many things do I have to make sure is right before I actually swing? I have boobs too. Huh. Sure I can hit the ball. Maybe 3 feet.

Kickball? I actually got good, until I got the popular girl out. That ended my kickball career.

Dodgeball? We called it smear the queer. Pretty much same as volleyball, though I could run away from it and not be a loser.

Basketball. Broke my finger the one time I played it. No.

Baseball, softball? Run away I say.

Soccer? I'm from America and no one (and I mean no one) knew what a soccer ball was in the "old days"

Football. That I could play. Though don't ask me to throw that thing because I'm all girl.

Tennis? I took lessons and still don't get it. Reality vs wii is the same thing. I still suck. I played three games and actually hit the ball only one time. I'm that bad. Now boxing I'm good at. I guess if I ever decided to beat the crap out of someone in reality world I'd be pretty good at it. I fight like a man. Thing is...I have never hit someone in my 40+ years and I don't expect to anytime soon. Though just in case I need to, I guess I can kick some ass.

That's why I was a competitve swimmer for 10 years. That's why I rode a bike for another 5. (I also look good in spandex) That's why I run. I guess the dodgeball, baseball, volleyball did come in handy somehow.

James

I haven't seen him since he was 2+ years old at his father's funeral.

His father was my husband's older brother.

His father commited suicide by train.

His mother would not allow him to see any of the family.

His grandparents (my in-laws) sued for visitation and won.

His mother put so many limitations on visitiation that they soon quit pursuing it.

The rest of the family hated her. (she was an alcoholic, former drug addict and was arrested by the police for beating her husband....which we found out the latter later)

I didn't hate her, I didnt blame her for the suicide. I had no feelings towards her but pity.

I hated her the day (6 years later) when she took all my mother- in-laws cards and money gifts and threw them on her car and yelled at her to stop sending them.

I hated her more the day my father-in-law passed away without ever seeing his grandson again.

When I started running I always thought of her in front of me and me kicking her ass. (btw she qualified for the Boston Marathon ages ago) She does not run anymore and I don't care how fast she was/is I would still give it my best to beat her.

She quit paying her mortgage and her house was foreclosed and sold at auction. She sued on the grounds that she was mentally ill and WON. She got her house back. I learned the "world does revolve around some people" on that day.

She has since had another child with her boyfriend and another on the way.

Her boyfriend (father of new children) went to school with my husband and they know each other and were friendly when the would see each other.

James is a swimmer. His mother's boyfriend is a coach of a team we are swimming in January.

I hope I get to see James.

I wonder if James will see my husband.

What will James think when he see's his father's brother. (who looks just like him)

I wonder.

My Day

MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, "J called me a jerk" MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, "T called me stupid"MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,"I want cereal with milk"MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,"I want juice"MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY "can I have a cookie"MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY "tommy hit me"MOMMY,MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY "david kicked me"MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY "look at my penis"

all through the above I said:

Who peed on the bathroom floor ?
Who forgot to flush the toilet ?
Who spilt milk ?
Why is the washer flooding the floor ?
Who ate David's mitten ? (duh)
David please, for the love of God put your pants on .
WHAT!!! (100x)
Stop hitting your brother, kicking your brother, calling so-and -so a name.
Do I have to call Santa?
Yes I will call Santa!

Can you believe these cute kids can cause me so much stress?

I can't wait until they have kids. (just like my mom told me!)

First, I'm really kind of bummed that I haven't gotton out to run at all lately. I love cold weather running and I just don't have time to do it.

Monday I managed to get some treadmill sprints going for 30 minutes. 7:30 pace on the sprints and 11 min+ pace for the down time. I burned 300 calories vs 500 for the same workout on the ARC. I'm not quite understanding that one. I swam some laps while David was in his swim lesson also. I think they are too slow with lessons at the Y. He should be doing some kind of freestyle stroke every lesson. They just have him on the kickboard. I'm a bit impatient.

Today is tree shopping!!! Once I took my husband tree shopping. He's not a good tree shopper. I like to look at the tree's, line them up, discuss the trees and spend at least 30 minutes deciding the pro's and cons of the trees. My husband wants no part of that. Get a Spruce cheapo tree and lets get the hell home. See right there...spruce? WTF, only a Frazer Fur will enter the house. For the past 9 years I take my father. I learned tree buying from him and he's into it. Once when he was 11 he made his parents take the tree back b/c it wasn't right. And I wonder where Tommy get's it from.

I'm also not that mom that lets her kids decorate the tree. It's not this fun family time (at first). I must decorate the front, and sides and analyze it overnight. Make adjustments. Then the kids can finish it. Which is weird b/c I'm easy going, low maintenance and am not anal about really anything. Just "the tree". There's got to be a word for that. (other than the mean mom or the bitch) Analtreedecordork. Because it really is kinda dorky to be anal about sprucing up a tree.

I mentioned earlier that with the ARC trainer I didn't have any leg soreness. Yes, in a way that is correct. Thing is .... if you get back on the ARC trainer your muscles come out of hiding and scream bloody murder at you. They get really pissed off when you can't remember your level (which was 4) and you think it's 6. They are not happy. In the end you are happy b/c according to the machine (which can't be wrong) you burned over 500 calories. Woo hoo.

Later that day you eat everything in sight. Especially bad carbs.

You watch a swim meet for 2 hours and eat more carbs. (and an orange to offset soft pretzel) Long story short... my daughter rocked it!

Then you go xmas shopping. You finish your youngest child's shopping in under 5 min. Power rangers, cars and army combat men with their little guns and tanks. (which will be lost in record time Christmas morning)

Note to self: Buy dog a bone from the butcher so little tanks don't end up in poo for at least 24 hours.