Junk email

I'm too lazy to post about nothing. Someday this will happen to us. (once someone learns to talk)

WHY PARENTS DRINK

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted? with a child's whisper. "Hello." "Is your daddy home? " he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" The child whispered, "No." Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes," "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?" "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there" asked the boss, now truly alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for" Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "Me."

Damn you

Dear reader you might be thinking...

a. She's mad at her husband .... AGAIN
b. Her neighbor pissed her off .... AGAIN
c. Her ITB acted up .... AGAIN
d. The "baby" did something ....AGAIN

If you answered D you would be correct! What could that sweet looking child have done this time you ask? Well let me tell you. I was taking back the paint I just bought to have them dull it or darken it up. I put said paint on the dining room table. I asked my husband for the credit card. David started to cry and walked into the kitchen covered in a eggshell, Benjamin Moore, Beverly Hills shade of paint. David managed to drop the entire gallon of paint on himself, the dining room table, chairs, carpet and hardwood floors. Lovely. I realized a picture would of been appropriate, but we were too into saving our hardwood floors to stop and look for a camera. David is fine. (a bit gold is some spots) Hardwood floors are fine, table and chairs good, carpet has been powerwashed. (i hate the carpet, but hubby wanted to try and save it) The white parts (it's a persian type thingy) are a bit goldish, but it will have to do. If it's not tipping paint cans, trash cans he throwing Hess trucks at our heads or windows. I have a feeling he will break a window in one year. It's his nature, and those windows are only 3 years old.

Enough of that.

I got new shoes. I went on the premise that ugly shoes are the better, more comfortable shoes. Birkenstock is the ugliest shoe out there, but they do wonders for your tired feet. I got the Brooks (dyad 3) and broke them in today on a 9 mile jaunt. They were wonderful. The run was great on the way out (wind at my back) and sucked on the way back. It was tough going and I completed it in 1 hr 21 minutes. I tried my vanilla gel and it would of been much better with a nice glass of water. It gave me needed energy, but mile 4.5 is too early for gels. I need to have one at mile 6 or 7.

That's it. Hope everyone has a great weekend. To all the half's out there today and tomorrow good luck. I can't wait to read your race reports.

small, dicks and a good luck

No I'm not going to talk about small dicks. My husband may be Irish, but in that regards he's not. (is that really true anyhow?)

SMALL

I did a small cheat on getting the fire going the other night. I dug through 3 feet of beach stuff to get to 2 feet of camping gear and got some fire starters(egg cartons stuffed with dryer lint and melted wax on top) out. It took three of them to get the fire going. I should of just grabbed a fire log. When dear hubman got home he informed me that we have a trashcan of kindling in his poker room. Great.

small part deux

I'm a small in running shorts. I'm officially built like a boy on the bottom half. I guess it's good that all my children were surgically removed. Though that left the middle section something else to be desired.

DICKS
When you apply to the above store, you must pass a test confirming that you are what you work. Everytime I go to this overpriced store the personnel are......you guessed it DICKS. I asked the girl to price two items I got off clearance. After rolling her teenage eyes she told me the prices were right there. I explained "they are on the clearance rack". She scanned them and rolled her eyes again "see I told you" So I'm going to pay full price just because you put them on a rack that say clearance? Ugh. I did finally get those gel things. Do they work? I'm planning on slurping them at mile 10.

Good luck

This is what was told to me when I left the running shoe store today. My youngest destroyed everything and anything at eye level. I found that I am an overpronator, but I'm in the not so normal class of people who doesn't overpronate when they walk/run. I'm getting new running shoes again. The ones I recently bought don't feel right. They feel heavy and stiff for some reason. He put me in a pair of Brooks. They felt fine. I'm going back to try them again and to try on the Addidas that I so love. I'm so not a girly girl, BUT those Brooks shoes are just the ugliest shoes I have ever seen.

I ran 4.82 miles this morning. I didn't want to do it, but I did.

I

Ran 8 miles in 1 hour in 11 minutes.
Ran a 8.55 pace
Can't imagine running another 5 miles
If I can keep up that pace I might be able to run the race in 2 hours
Signed up for the half marathon on March 12th.
Watched curling
Still don't "get" curling, but my husband might take it up b/c the girls are "surprisinly good looking"
Can NOT start a fire in the fireplace. (this is my current project) How the hell do people burn their house down? Do I need to throw the draperies in there too? Is that the secret?
Should just rip the wood paneling down and burn that.
Am going to get this fire burning with OUT one of those cheat logs.

That is my weekend.

A long time ago, in a place far, far away*

(*years ago, when I was fat, smoking a pack a day and drinking) I thought those people who ran in shorts in the winter snow were freaks. Well hello freak girl! I passed one runner today dressed like this. (note: this site cracks me up) I'm sure she was thinking to herself who is that idiot in shorts. Hey it was 50 degrees! Break out the summer running gear it's a February heatwave. If I had any balls I would of taken the in-sport turtleneck off, wrapped it around my waist and ran in my cute as anything tank. No balls though.

My watch seems to go missing on my runs anymore. I run watchless. A few months ago I would never do something as daring as that. I need to know splits. After reading Jeanne's Blog and taking Jennifer P's long ago advice I like running watchless. I did 4 something miles in around 40 something minutes. No pressure. I think I might be getting some groove back. I still hate the first mile. I hate my home running route. I hate the old lady that almost ran me off the road too.

I know why I hate running with people. They make me go fast. I don't like being paced. I can run 8 min miles, I can run 9 ish min miles on training runs. I hate feeling I have to run fast. Though I must admit, my pacing friends push me to where I would never push myself.

For some reason I am not into the olympics. I love all the X-games sports they have introduced, but I just can't watch it. I think it's the coverage. I don't want to watch luge (they are crazy though) and what the hell is with curling? Come on this is NOT an olympic sport! The NY Times did an article on it about a curler who does major training (mill, elipitical....hey then I do olympic training too dammit) I still don't view them as athletes. Badmitton....yeah those guys are wicked and I'll give them the athletic approval. Curling, I think not.

I read another article at my gym. We have professional triathletes in my state. I'm shocked. I've always pictured tri's living in the West and South. (and yes Canada :) )I actually think I have swam next to some of them in the pool. I assumed they were there for exercise. Should of known after they lapped me. (3x) The one girl got hit by a car while she was riding her bike 30 mph and the car was doing 35 mph. She's got her game back and is in training again. That folks is an athlete.

Edit later that night:

I spoke to soon. I'm all over this snowboard cross. (go seth wescott!) I could watch this thing for hours. I can't wait to watch the girls tomorrow night.

trying to get her groove back

Yep that's me. I have no groove right now. I went to the gym and did 20 min of sprints and 8 min of extreme hill on the mill. Strength training for the legs and core work. For some reason I'm not into running right now. I don't know if it's the thought of the half marathon that has scared the shit out of me or just the cold crappy conditions that are out there. My weight is stable at 148. I'm not at all into dieting right now either. Watch me drop the weight like that after the half when it doesn't matter anymore. I don't know how I can drop the weight now that those damn girl scouts are starting to deliver their cookies. Delievery #1 has arrived. 3 boxes of thin mints. We are waiting on deliveries #2, #3 and #4. We have no idea what we have ordered. It's like a new surprise everyday.

That's it. Hope I get my groove back for a long run this weekend.

I'd rather be sledding

a quick post. My desire to run was at 0. I blogged about it, but blogger sucks and I lost it. Went running Saturday before the blizzard and logged 6 miles in under one hour. Some girls were running on the other side on the road (my way back) so when I hit my turn around I tried to catch them. It's weird, something happens to me when I get into "picking off mode". I can feel it. All thoughts exit my mind and my legs get lighter. But alas, no picking off. I tried, but I couldn't catch them. If I were going the same route, eventually I might have done it because I think my pace was faster. (i don't wear glasses or contacts when I run, so I run pretty much blurry)

We got hit with 15+ inches of snow. No road running for awhile. Went sledding with all three kids yesterday. Love it. Then the plows came.

Today we are all going to go sledding down our front yard. If I can find my camera, maybe I'll take a picture.

Anyhow that's it. I'd rather go sled than blog.

Training woes

Ok I got my period. Much better.

My training woes. It is so damn cold. Who the heck wants to run? Today was freezing and for about 2 hours I felt like I had been kicked in the ribs or I had bruised my lung. No training run today. Lately, I've only gotton 2 runs and 1 gym day a week in. This is not how it is suppose to be. I really wish this half marathon would be in April or May instead of March. I'm not into cold weather training. While driving today on my one of my routes I saw this chick in a Suburban drive down the shoulder while on her phone and looking down at something. She would of either plowed me down or I would still be stuck in some brush along the highway. I might try to get a gym day tomorrow so at least I got 3 workout days in this week. Even though I've put on 5lbs (I'm blaming it on the thyroid) you can't tell. It's in the boobs and stomach. My jeans still look damn good. I just DON'T want to run with these extra 5lbs for the race. I'm terrified that it will end up being 10lbs extra. I have decided that if I got up another 5 the race is off. It could be water retention (hopefully) and that I'm not drinking enough water. I mean who the heck wants to chug water in the freezing cold, especially on the days you work and you have to keep a ski coat on b/c the boss refuses to turn up the heat.

I was watching some of that show with couples competing to lose weight. The biggest loser! Ok. The girl on the red team is 5 lbs heavier than me! WTF? My husband looked at her and asked how tall she was? I figured she was 4'10" because there is no way we are that close in weight. And the other girl ran a 1/2 tri. Again my husband was watching that and said "if she can do it, you surely could kick her ass". Did I mention I love him? Well we didn't watch all that much of the show b/c I'm addicted to Lost (my husband to Kate) and Lost is much more interesting than people exercising. It seems like a good show though. Will catch more of it when Lost does reruns. Which is about every two weeks. Bastards.

Keeping it real

Argh. I'm a real bitch the week before my period.

This is what is pissing me off this week.

I hate the following celebreties:

Jessica Simpson. Her talent is what? I don't think she's that pretty either.
Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes. Weird and dumbest.
Nicolette Sheridan. Is it me or is she freaky looking.
Maddox, Zahara and unborn Pitt child. I couldn't tell you what any celebreties children looked like with the exception of these kids. I think Reese Witherspoon is a big star...I have no idea what her kids look like. Madonna, I might be able to pick out the girl, but not the other one. I can't tell you what the other ones name is for that matter. Maybe I should put angelina jolie on the list too for prostituting her children to make her image better.

Other stuff:

Other parents. I seem to have the only not outstanding, smartest child in my state. Everyone else's children got either straight O's (outstanding or A) all G's (good or B) No one in my group of friends child got an S (satisfactory or C) on their report card. For that matter all the other children that I know are reading at a 3rd grade level, can skip some grades or are about to start Physics. Seriously. My husband tells me they are just bragging/embellishing. I know, but it is pissing me off.

My husband. I love you dearly. Would you PLEASE finsih the bead board in the laundry room now! You only have 5 feet left. And quit giving me shit for nagging you about it. I only mention it 2x a month. Please help me out with the laundry too. Doing one load a month (of just your clothes) is nice, but one load a week would be better.

My lovely almost 7 year old. Would you PLEASE flush the toilet! This "i forgot" is not working anymore. Your baby brother seems to think the toilet is his own water toy and I don't like looking at your bowel movements. And quit smart mouthing me with "well don't look at it"

My sweet 5 year old. We can not have spagehetti O's every night for dinner. Don't start whining b/c I won't make them. Don't tell me ever again that you hate chicken.

The "baby". I really wish you would stop throwing everything. We know you have a great arm and that you are strong. We are tired of being hit in the head with whatever toy, dish, sippy cup that is available. Please don't throw your fork at your brother or sister either. Try not to break any more wood blinds also. They are expensive. (i love you for using the Sharpie in the den though)

Today is a non exercise day so I could not vent these thoughts on the road or at the gym.

I feel better now.

Funk

I woke up this morning in the most depressed mood. Looks like this is going to be a baaad PMS week. Yesterday I feel asleep on the couch for 30 minutes. After the kids went to bed I passed out on the couch again until I woke up at 11 and dragged my butt up to bed. I hate this! I forced myself to workout at the gym. I did sprints for 20 minutes on the mill and thought I was going to fling myself off the back it at certain points. I never got past 9 on my sprints and just felt very stiff and out of it. My friend (or a lady I met in the pool when I was into swimming last year) is trying to get me to join the masters swim team. There are three training levels... triathelte, fitness and something else I didn't catch. I might try it after March is over. It would be nice to have someone give me suggestions on my stroke (freestyle and butterfly) and to get some cool training in. Also if I go back to swimming I won't try smoking again. The cravings are getting worse for some reason.


Winter has finally arrived on the East Coast. I can handle the cold and minimal wind. I will not run in cold raining weather. So far the next week looks just to be cold. 32-40 degrees. So far on plan I have an easy 4 mile run on Thursday and a 9 miler on Saturday. I might hill train on Thursday just for kicks.

I have not weighed myself in at least a week. My boobs are huge (aka 5lb gain) My food choices have been wonderful on some days and horrible on others. Some days I'm so famished that it feels like I haven't eaten in weeks. I've been reading up on hypothyroidism and I'm going to have to deal with dieting the rest of my life. Even though this medicine raises my metabolism to "normal" it also makes me extremely hungry. Basically it's a never ending cycle.

My "baby" is starting to form some words. Bu, bu (bye, bye), co_kie (cookie , which he can also sign...of course) and car, well the latter is done in a Boston accent. I'm hoping by next year he will be caught up to others his age. Someone once told me that you can't wait for your kids to walk and talk. But as soon as they do you tell them to shut up and sit down. He was right.

Running again and I love Sharpies

Finally! I felt good enough to run on Sunday. I did NOT get my 9 mile run in. I only did 6 miles in 55 minutes (hill workout again), but I feel much better and am going for 9 miles next week. That was the one of the worst colds ever. Yeck. I had a huge post about the cold/sushi/my heater, but blogger sucks and I lost it. I am still having ITB problems in my right leg and something is going on with my left knee cap. I'm doing pilates stretches with a band and hoping that helps. PMS is here. Just be glad I haven't posted b/c I would of ranted on everything in this house, state, world. Quite scary.

I love Sharpies. (note to self, buy big ass sharpie next time and have child draw in a more prominent place. This can be covered by a window treatment)


I put in an attempt to clean it up (quite a lame one), but this isn't going anywhere. Isn't it just awful? Not the sharpie...the paneling!

Enough said

oh wait....this is BARELY working!