Ahhh Monday

I did get my two hours alone! It was perfect. Just me, a glass of wine and the movie "The Family Stone". Good times.

Thanksgiving was wonderful. My SIL is a fantastic cook and everything was perfect.

I'm in the middle of home improvement projects. Easy things like painting, crown molding and more decluttering.

Working out hasn't been so great. I got two powerwalks and one gym day last week. Saturday was spent helping my friend who is leaving her husband pack up her house. That was hard work. Not physically hard, just mentally. More mentally draining for her than me. I've never seen someone with so much kitchen stuff. She used to be Martha Stewart and has dishes for Mexican night, Thai night, Italian night etc and etc. I'm like donate that and that and that. She had enough cupcake tins to make over 100 cupcakes at a time. She kept them all. It was too overwhelming for her to think. We filled a big box with just candles. I showed her my candles when she came over for dinner and it fills a shoebox sized drawer. She wants to become a minimalist, but has a long way to go.

Seriously

would it kill this family to let me be alone in this house for 60 minutes?

On the sly

When one has no money to spend one must find other things to occupy their time. Things like getting rid of shit. Accumulated shit. I decided to takle Christmas Crap today. We have so much Christmas Crap it isn't even funny. I was down in our basement for 15 minutes and have tossed the following:

Their arms are broken off. They are creepy

Their heads fall off every year. Notice the toothpicks!

To throw things away in our home you have to do it on the sly. For example this dog.
I think someone won it at a fair. Our dog has attacked it. It's has dried slobber all over it. No one cares about it and it was never a favorite of our children. I've tried to throw it away (put it in the garbage cans in the bedrooms) for 3 weeks now. My father always empties those before I get around to it. Every week I find it on the floor next to the garbage can. Today I put it in a bag and threw it away in the actual garbage can outside. We will not be safe until the garbage men take the can away in their truck. My father is known to go through our trash. He has gotton very angry at my husband for throwing away old paint cans with 1 cup of paint in them. He likes to leave his mail and important papers over here and then yell at us for throwing them away.

Which brings me back to the Christmas Crap. I hate this shit. It usually breaks in a year or two. Which is good reason to throw it way. Nope. It can be fixed. Fixed with glue, wood putty (his favorite) or tape.

He buys things like this:

The Wonderland Bear Band. Notice the instrument is broken. It is supposed to be a trumpet not a horn. It cannot be fixed. Trust me on that one.

The big ass snow globe that doesn't have snow. Notice how some of the pieces are "loose". Yeah, real nice. Now I bet I can take that cover off and fix it, but why?

The above two items only fit on the floor or the fireplace hearth. They are really pointless. The big question is .....Can I throw them away (or donate) without my father knowing or getting angry. He means well, I get that. I don't see a reason to keep something if I don't like it and it gets in the way of the vacuum. The kids don't play with the above. Strangely they still play with the fisher price nativity people. There is joy in that. Even I play with it.

Maybe my father forgot about the Wonderland Bear Band. Who am I kidding? He has the mind of an 8 year old. He remembers everything. Except to take his mail and important papers home.

emails

To my husband:

The GE repairman came by today. You know those pieces you didn't put back in the dishwashwer? Yeah, they were pretty important. He put them back in and the dishwasher works. All is well.

To Tommy's friend's moms:

I need to check with Tommy's two favorite friends. Are you guys going to be around Sunday? I'd like to have his birthday party that day. I know he's told your sons that it's going to be Laser tag, but I'm going to make him cry when he gets home and tell him the place blew up or something along those lines. It will either be the movies or the skate park.

To my friend:

Or shall I say "how it IS going to go!" Your dad will get a pod. We will move your stuff into the pod. You will move into our home. J___ and I have talked about this too many times to count and we want you here and not there. It is not an inconvience. For you, yes, for us NO. You can watch House with me. How fun is that? H______ can learn that she doesn't want brothers or sisters also. They are a pain in the ass. Tommy can teach her the miserable life of the middle child from his point of view. Julia can teach her how miserable brothers are. David will just suck his thumb and whine. It's a perfect life lesson.

{snipped short because this is the details and me telling her how this isn't normal}

Where is the fucking logic in that? As adults we accept responsibility for our actions. We learn from mistakes. We are adults.

______ can't hurt us in anyway. He'd would be an ass trying to start something down here. Brandy would tear him to pieces. Do you reallly think he would mess with J____. That's another thing I would never do. J_____ would kick his fucking ass.

Updates

We have no food. ( things like breakfast and lunch stuff) Our dishwasher broke. We have $50 in our checking account. I don't get my unemployment check until tomorrow.

I can get all the "food" stuff we need with a check that won't be cashed until Wednesday at the earliest. The dishwasher is still under the one year warranty, but is out of commission until this Friday. That unemployment check better come tomorrow. Husband's first real paycheck should be in our account Thursday morning. Back on the road to financial freedom!

My friend had to call the cops to escort her out of the house last night. Since her husband hadn't physically hit her, they can't make him leave. He just called her a fucking cunt in front of her daughter several times. That along with some other pleasant words screamed at the top of his lungs. This went on for about an hour. He was drunk again (of course). Then the fucking asshole tells her this morning that THEY can't be behaving like this. THEY?!!!! She finally took my advice and stayed here last night. My husband met her at the door and she knows this is a safe haven. If her soon to be ex even thinks of starting anything with us he's going to get it. Both adults in this home are excellent at firearms and we have lots of them. My husband is going to have to let me know where the key to the gun safe is. Throwing shot-gun shells at somehow is not a good defense tactic. Though, first and foremost our dog will fucking tear him to pieces if he even attempts anything with anyone in this house.

I'm hoping my friend and her daughter stay here until her rental opens up in December. Her husband is very unstable. He sells guns out of his home. Yes it sounds like we are all a bunch of white trash living in some god-forsaken trailer park. That is so not the case. He is white trash. I will admit that. Because seriously why sell guns out of your home? All of us thought that was stupid. He even came to happy hours with a gun strapped to himself (because he had a permit to do so). We have police officers who came to our happy hours and they didn't carry guns.. Then again they are normal adults. Who the hell carries a side-arm to a party? What, is some engineer, school principal, or accountant going to go nuts and you're going to have to shoot him? Why did we not see this? We just thought to ourselves "oh that's John*." (*not his real name)

I have to say. Thank God it's Monday.

Do NOT try this at home

Our new insurance doesn't start for 90 days. I decided to cut my zoloft dose down to half during this time. Some days I don't even take it. It caught up to me yesterday.

I thought the headace I had was from not drinking water while in bars all night. I woke up Sunday, downed a gatorade, drank tons of water, took aspirin, then perscription Ibuprofen and finally a treximet (magic migraine med) and nothing worked. I remembered my pharmicist telling me about the awful headaces that happen after not taking zoloft for two days. I crawled downstairs and took one.

Today I feel much better. I guess I'm going to be paying full price for these meds for the next 60 some days. Typical luck.

my night out in hell

So I lost my mind and went out with my friend for a night on the town with her and two other single girls. When I decided to go I was in sweats, no make-up, hair pulled back (half curly half straight) and looking pretty much like I was going to bed. It took me all of 10 minutes to get ready. We go and pick up the other girls. The other girls who supposedly have a designated driver.

The other girls are pretty much lit-up when we get there. They are still getting ready and no designated driver. I decide to be the driver because I'm not much for drinking (on a Saturday night) and I have no money. Though, how long does it take to put on make-up and earrings. I'll tell you....1 fucking hour.

We have to go to a "fun" bar. We drive into town and go to some new fancy bar. It is packed. You can't even get near the actual bar. I want to leave right when we get in. But noooo this crazy bitch we were with is looking for a man. Any man. She flirts with anyone that looks at her. I realize at this point that she has "issues". I spend the next hour trying to look interested and not to get too banged up from people pushing around me.

Finally we leave. No one wants to go where I want to go ( later I realize that is where people our age hang out) We go into the area where all the 20+ somethings hang out. Oh yeah real fucking fun. We end up at an actually decent bar where I sit at the bar (by myself...thank God) and watch highlights of college football. Then the other girls (at the outside deck bar) find me. They are wasted (with the exception of my friend) and I immediately get embarassed by the crazy bitch. I tell her that her top is open and she lets me know..."shhhhh" She wants it that way. OMG get me out of here. Soon some guys are coming by and flirting. I tell my friend I'm going outside for some air and instead end up in her car listening to comedy radio. (which btw is hysterical) My friend and I text back and forth. I tell her to stay, b/c I'm having fun (by now the police have come to settle something at the bar next door so I have something to watch also). My friend comes out and rants about how this single life is going to suck. I explain she is with the wrong people, the wrong bars, blah, blah, blah. Soon the other two girls come out. It is 12:45. Last call is 1. I'm almost home free. My friend sees someone she knows and catches up to her. Then the crazy bitch is in the car with me. The other girl (drunk off her ass) is with my friend and other girl up the street.

The crazy bitch found a hook-up two blocks away. I need to drive her there NOW. I tell her it's not my car and wait for the others. She bitches why can't I drive her and then go pick them up. Now I'm getting mad. I debate about going "rouge" on her ass. I've got about 30lbs on her and some pretty decent arm muscles. She's white trash though and she could probably kick my ass. (i've never fought anyone and I'm sure she has some experience in it) She bitches and bitches, same shit over and over "where the fuck are they, why can't I drive her 2 blocks" I want to turn around and say "why don't you walk the fucking two blocks for God's sake!!" So now the other three girls get in. We've added another girl to our night. It's now 12:52. Everyone wants to make last call with the exception of the crazy bitch. I just want this nut out of the car. I say we are dropping her off first.

What a fucking nightmare dropping her off becomes. First we get on the street. I have to drive, no stop, no drive to that car, stop, drive to that car now, go backwards down the whole street. Just get the fuck out of the car I tell her. No I have to drive her to the fucking front door we just passed. She gets out in a huff. Then her friend jumps out while I'm driving away (car door open and all). Dear God. I'm about ready to explode. I do a "u-ee" in the road and finally coax the drunk girl back in the car. (YES WE ARE ALL IN OUR 40'S!!!!!!!)

After all that we don't make last call. Yea I think. No. We drive to some other total 20ish bar and the girls run in. I have the drunk girl who gets out of the car with a bottle of beer. The cops are right there. I throw the beer and escort her into the bar, because she can barely walk.

Get out the bouncers say, we are closing up. Whew. We all go back to the car and distress girl calls her boyfriend and the conversation somehow goes through the radio. "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, SHUT-UP,FUCK...." This is her boyfriend talking. I turn around and start lecturing distress girl (she's 27) and even though I know isn't computing I still do it.

We go back to the original bar and get in. Why are they letting us in? Seriously why? We stay there for another hour. I don't get home until 2:30 am.

Today I have a raging headace and I didn't even drink last night. So much for good karma.

what I have been doing lately

Decluttering. I'm going crazy with this. I have been hard core since I was layed off. Who knew we had so much crap in our home. I've learned a lesson though. Once I bag it (clothes, china, toys, etc) I put the bag in my car. If I leave the bag in the hallway, spare bedroom, dining room it will stay there for months on end. If it's in my car it's got to go!

This week I made a trip to Goodwill (clothes, china and knicknacks) the church
(shoes to share) the Humane Society (all my old sheets, blankets and towels). Everything was put in the car on Tuesday and I just got back from the Humane Society. Whew.

I still have more crap to go through though. Baby steps.

My good friend is getting a divorce. We have been discussing her life on our morning power walks. I can't believe I didn't know how bad she had it. Sure, I didn't have a high opinion of her husband and his lack of interest in their daughter, but I never realized how abusive he was/is. I was made aware of some serious issues a couple of years ago, but she never let on about what a fucking idiot he is. Serious fucking idiot. Well the shit got really bad when she told him it was over. I wanted her and her daughter to move in with us, actually begged her to leave (long story short that's all your getting)

Now she's looking for a townhouse to rent. I can't wait for her to get out of that house with her daughter. Things haven't been too bad the past 2 days, but you never know with that asshole.

My kids will never do winter swim team again. I'm tired of all the complaints about practice. It's whine, whine, whine. WTF. I think their practices look so easy compared to what I had to do. Anyhow, my daughter is just too tiny to ever be really good, my son is really a baseball lover and well the youngest, heck he complained about a stupid half hour swim lesson. There is no way I'm wasting money on the team with him.

We are still so very poor. I didn't hit my 401ks. It's just not worth it. Seriously, the recession has pretty much taken 30+% of that money. We have run out of baggies (for snacks) and aluminum foil (for sandwiches). Now I wrap their cookies in plastic wrap (which I'd like to strangle the ass who made that shit, and my husband for buying it) and I use wax paper with tape for their sandwiches.

I'm going to try and not buy any food until AFTER Thanksgiving. With the exception of lunch meat and milk. Oh and spirits. Spirits like Gin. "Cause I'm out and I hate vodka and who the hell bought the expensive Tequilla? Seriously who?

My diet is so-so. I think I have PMS because I can not get enough food in me. Food made with salt, there just isn't enough in this house. My boobs are huge and sore and I put on 2lbs. I'm still working out. I think I'm there 4x a week on top of my 3x a week powerwalks. Feeling good about that.

My father is still here every single day. It's driving me up the wall. One hour. I want one hour in this house alone! Just one hour (maybe 2) It will never happen until the kids have moved out so I need to quit complaining about it. (for the rest of the week)

Girl Scout Motivational Poster

Did I forget to mention that I am the "cookie mom"?

half

Half a paycheck. Fuck. The check is less than what we got from the former company. Granted that was for 2 weeks not one. The question is can we wait another two weeks for a real check? Honestly, I don't know. I am going to have research what money we have in retirement funds.

Fuck.

A little something to make you smile

Gotta love the Scots!

Some letters

I sent this one:

Dear ___________,

David has come home the past two days claiming Tripp has hit him. I've told him to go to you or another adult when it happens. It seems to happen at recess. If Tripp continues to hit David I feel David has a right to defend himself .


I wish I could send this one:

Dear Mary,

I know you made a mistake and had Tommy over for a playdate instead of some kid named Tomas. My son knows your son and they play kickball together. I think your little shit-head of a kid has some serious issues. To throw a hissy fit in front of me, tommy and you whinning the entire time "I wanted Tomas not him" and then to storm off into the house whining that same mantra the entire time is uncalled for. Honestly, Mary I have never seen anything like that. I don't even get you. Were you drunk, or are you hopped up on prescription drugs? It was one or the other. All the time you stood there with me and watched the spectacle we call your son. You just said "he sure is mad" "wow, he's really upset" "did he just walk into the house and leave?" "tommy do you want to go inside?" Lady, are you nuts? I'm not sending my kid into your house with that freak of a boy. I expect a written apology from your son today. FYI the rest of your life with that kid is going to suck.

Have a nice life.

From the mom whose kids would never pull that kind of shit.

neighborhood ladies (part 3)

So I'm feeling "out of it" with the neighborhood. It bothers me. I've talked to no-one about this. A little to my husband, but he's a guy and thinks girls are all blown-out-of-proportion-drama. He's pretty much right on that point.

I was the neighborhood organizer of luminaries at Christmas time. The neighbor's gather at your home where you have a ton (literally) of sand, hundreds of bags and candles and you put them all together and line the streets with them and light the whole product Christmas eve. None of the skanks came. If I recall some of their husbands might have helped. The kids are all there (donuts, hot chocolate and coffee helps) and it really is a fun time. One of the "group" came down. Her name is Kate. For some reason I opened up to her at the end of the festivities. I felt I could trust her and all of us were organizing a drunken New Years bash (my damn idea...when things were good) and I needed to see if she knew what the fuck was going on. Funny thing is she felt the exact same way as me. Yes, things were too clique for her. It was a very abstract conversation. Not too detailed, but I felt better.

The New Year's Eve party. I guess it was fun. I stayed sober and everyone else got rip-roaring drunk. Abbey showed her tit to someone, people where sloshing liquor every where. It was extremely cliquey. (cara wasn't there because she had a baby sometime in December) At one point Abbey and Sara pulled me into the hallway and started to rip into Barb about the hole in her ceilling. I walked away, because seriously, yes seriously, who the fuck cares. So now Barb is on the shit list for some reason or other. I can't deal with these weirdos.

I refuse to stoop to their level. I decide it's easier to be nice then to be mean. I just don't have the energy for that. I don't socialize with any of them, but I always have a happy face and act like I like them. It's actually quite fun.

Months go by. Now Cara is being nice to me. See above. I just nod my head and be nice. Seems Abbey has dropped Cara just like she did to me. Oh, really...what a fucking surprise. Cara hates Barb. Oh really, why? Cara bitches and bitches. I love it. I just eat it up. One day Cara admonishes Abbey's daughter at the bus stop for telling secrets with Barb's daughter in front of Cara's daughter (got that?) Abbey calls her up after school and lays into her. Calls her all sorts of names (in a mental breakdown, crazy way) and that's the end of that friendship. (till this day)

Did I mention Cara hate's Barb. Hates her just like Abbey hated her in the beginning. Very jealous of her, her kids, her money, her material things etc. Cara decides to tell Barb every bad thing Abbey ever said about her. Because she hates Abbey more than Barb. Now Barb hates Abbey.

During this time I started running. Kate and I train for 5k's and hang out a lot. (Kate is my best friend in this neighborhood as she is today) Unlike the bitches, we don't even gossip about any of this shit on our runs. It's just that stupid and boring.

We still hang out with Cara (because she is hysterical and is a lot of fun) and I guess we all kind of form a clique. Cara hates Sara too. (some other nieghbor) I like Sara. Always thought she was nice. Cara didn't get invited to Sara's 40th b-day and that was it for her. None of us got invited. Who cares? Well Cara did. She was bothered by the innane things in life. Sara just kind of went away and was shit upon.

Cara still hated Barb. Barb this, Barb that. Barb, Barb, Barb. All things Barb. I hated Barb because I was sick of all things Barb. Negativity wears off on you. Sure she lied a lot, bragged a lot, that really isn't my problem. That shit always catches up to you.

Poor Sara though. She was really hurt. Long story short, I pulled a "Cara" and told her everything. Kate agreed with me (couldn't be there) but the three of us had had it with the stupid crap.

To be continued: (it's almost over. I'm so bored with it now. I will finish the story.)

Crap part 2

I have been decluttering since I've been laid off. I can't tell you how many large, medium, small bags of clothes have been donated to the Salvation Army and Goodwill. It's been a lot! I was picking up all the stuff that ends up on the dining room table (aka the junk room) and I of course I got side tracked into what the fuck is in all these drawers. (china cabinet, side board) More crap. Candy dishes, candle sticks, various silver (real and silver plate) items, appetizer trays, light bulbs, china, holiday stuff etc. You name it, it's in there. There are more appetizer trays and crap in the basement. Most of it is stuff from my parents. I don't need 15 appetizer/cheese/olive trays. I definately don't need candy dishes. Seriously won't a pretty china bowl do?

My next "to-do" is to finally get rid of this type of crap. Anything in the basement is on the donation list. Anything that I haven't used in the past year is "outta here" (in an Harry Kalas voice) Gone. Why am I holding on to this crap. I've watched enough "Clean House" and "Hoarders" to know that it is crap. Crap someone at Goodwill or Salvation Army might love or need. I don't have enough patience for ebay or craigslist to actually sell this stuff.

I might take a picture of the crap though. A slice of America you could say.

Someday I will finish the Nasty Neighborhood lady story. I know the ending and I believe I (and others) have come out winners .

Commericial Break

My body is changing. Finally! I notice definition in my arms from the weight-lifting. My waist-line is getting trimmer. Of course the shoe box fat square is still there. It might be a thinner box though. It'll be the last thing to go so why worry. My legs are stronger too. For once I can go to my FIT class after the former FIT class has passed. I still have muscle tightness, but I LOVE that feeling.

My body is definately different from this interval working out than just the running program I did years ago. I feel stronger now. Could I run as fast as I did back then? I don't know, haven't tried. I really have no desire to run like that again. Pushing myself past my limit is what brought on more and more injuries. That shouldn't happen again, because I don't have a desire to sign up for anymore 5k's, 10k's or half marathons.

Neighborhood ladies (part 2)

Barb. First let me tell you why Barb amazes me. She has raised three wonderful children by herself. (her husband is a lawyer and is rarely home with all his traveling and late nights at the office) Barb is a master carpenter and master seamstress. If she sees it in a magazine she can copy it. She opened her own store on ebay and was extremely busy with it. She truly has talent.

Barb is also master liar, one-upper, materialistic snob, braggart and can gossip with the best of them.

My eye-opener with Barb was when I ran into her at the flower market. We had hung out, like neighbors do and even though I wasn't aware of the above I knew there was something off. I wasn't comfortable with her. We were very friendly though. (I met Barb before Abbey and Cara btw).

Back to my story. The flower market. It's a once a year event to raise funds for some charity. I was there with my children (only 2 at the time) and as I was leaving I saw Barb coming in with her friend. I was walking towards her and said "hi barb!" (i was maybe 10 feet away) She loooked at me, rolled her eyes and wispered something to her friend. I actually stopped in my tracks (now about 5' away) and said to myself "no she didn't just diss me!" I have no idea why I remember this event so clearly. I think it's because it was such a shock. It was so "Mean Girls", back in middle school, do a adults really do this kind of shit...shit. At this time I was still real friendly with Abbey so my life lessons came much later. I kept walking up to her, (because what the fuck just happened) and we spoke for about 30 seconds and she obviously didn't want to be seen with the likes of me.

At that time I realized she was a social climber to the max. It was the place to be seen and to show off the outfit, the kids, the stroller, the purse etc. Funny thing, I was parked at my in-laws estate down the street. Yes, I said estate. My in-laws are part of "society". I know the "in-people". Who cares. I don't go around telling everyone that I was invited to such and such's political fund raising party. That I could hang out with the D*P**t's at the annual steeplechase. Well, I could visit their tent, we don't actually receive an invitation. Whatever. We are so not into that whole society crap. We don't even bother going to the Event. Though, thinking about it, my kids would probably love it.

I want to introduce this person to the story. She was the one that Abbey hated so much on our walks. Abbey would tear her, her kids, her carpentry, seamstress skills to pieces for our ENTIRE walk. She hated her.

When Abbey dropped me (shortly after the above) she became best friends with Cara and Barb. Really. What the fuck?

Preview to part 3. What goes around comes around, also known as Karma is a Bitch!

neighborhood ladies (part 1)

I met Abbey when she moved into our neighborhood. We got along great. She was funny, sarcastic and seemed like a good person. We met after I gave birth to my second child. At the time I was going through post-partum depression and didn't even realize it.

We walked about 3x a week and complained about everything on those walks. Husbands, kids, neighbors we didn't like..you get the idea. It was perfect for someone who wasn't happy. Let's rip apart everyone else and be happier.

Soon Cara moved into the neighborhood. Abbey dropped me like a hot potato and Cara was her new buddy. To say I was hurt is an understatement. I didn't get it. What did I do? This was probably one of the best things that happened to me though. My husband had a talk with me about my attitude and my being miserable all the time. I didn't realize how crappy I was treating him and everyone around me. I turned things around that day and never looked back. My home life got much better. (actually great).

The neighborhood life sucked. We used to have happy hours in these days. Go to someone's house, drink, eat apps and be merry. At this one happy hour I was having a great time. Then Cara walked by me and gave me daggers as I was talking to my friend's brother. Later I went into the dining room and found Abbey and Cara gossiping and talking smack about me. They looked at me like a pile a dirt and kept on talking. Later all the neighborhood ladies were in a room laughing and laughing and I felt like I didn't belong.

I walked out of the party and quit the neighborhood.

I was #2 in the job interview. The candidate that got the job had industry experience. (I knew if I were to get beat out that would be deciding factor) They were very nice in their phone call to me and I wished them the best of luck (from my heart because they were good guys) .

I am using power tools. I think my husband might be scared.

I have a feeling all our rooms are soon going to covered in crown moldings.

I DO need a job.