Hate me

If you were my neighbor you would hate me. Why?

1. One of my children will scream (at the top of their lungs) BRANDEEEEEEEEEEEE! a minimum of 20x.
2. One of my children (usually the youngest) will scream "PUSH ME" a minimum of 20x. (while I ignore him.) On the 21st time I will push him on the swing.
3. One of my children will scream bloody murder for 15 minutes before my hearing even registers that there is a scream. I will in turn scream back "STOP IT!!!!" (because the child is screaming at a sibling about some awful thing they "supposedly did)
4. Our dog will bark bloody murder at you while you walk by. If you are a garbage man she will somehow bark louder. I think it's more that it's 7 am, not that it's a garbage man.

The above will happen anywhere from 7 am until 8 pm.

Boys vs. Girls.

My daughter is a tom-boy. She looks adorable in skirts. She will cry if I make her wear a skirt. All skirts must have shorts underneath.
My daughter will cry if she has to brush her hair.
My daughter will whine if I asked if she brushed her teeth.
My daugher will get mad at me if she forgot about eating breakfast. I'm suppose to remind her you know?
Girls will play with boy stuff.

My sons whine a LOT. I thought boys would be easier than girls. They are 100x harder.
Boys are louder than girls.
Boys love to fart and burp. They think I do the former too much. Where do they think they got it from?
Boys at the age of 4 have a different bowel movement than that of a girl. They can actually stink up the bathroom with "man poop".
My sons are 100x more picky about their clothing than their sister.
Boys will not play with girl stuff.


If I had a $1 for everytime I heard "it's not fair" I would be a millionare. (seriously)

My littlest "broke his leg off" yesterday and while we were fixing it (cuddling) on the chair he looked up at my wedding picture and exclaimed "Mommy you were a princess!"

This morning I asked my youngest (while he was whinning about something) "what does it look like I'm doing?" and he replied "being pretty" .

For all my complaining I do have 3 great kids.

Off to workout the weights, cardio and some pools laps. I really do LOVE Thursdays. I'm preparing myself mentally for the relay in May. I know I'm going to go faster than I'm running now. Why? Because I'm competitive, the faster you run it the faster you finish and I have to do just as good as I did last year.

Life stuff

First it was a "NO" and now WE are mulling it around. He wants a rescued german short-haired pointer. I want a medium mutt. Thing is all medium mutts are pit-bulls. Husband claims he will have to start wearing a "wife beater" shirt. Even though our little friend Rocky is the best, loveable pit-bull out there. It has to be a mutt though. At least we have passed the "NO" stage.

I'm sick of Jerimiah Wright. WTF is this man's problem. My co-worker has tried to explain it to me, but I'm still not "getting it". Not that I am stupid (I'm not) but she has got the inside track on how that man is thinking. I just think he's an asshole.

Running is a mental game. A game I feel that I am losing. Is there a program out there titled "Go From 3 Miles (9:30 pace to 5.4 Miles (9 min pace) In 18 Days" If so let me know.

The knots are in my back again. Sure it could be lifting up a real iron bed (with queen size mattress in it) by myself. I think it's not, since the big ass knot is only on one side. Overdosing on Naproxen has done nothing.

"Lars and the Real Girl" is a pretty good movie. My husband wanted to shoot himself or the TV though. He can't shoot himself since we only own shotguns and the TV is a sweet big screen so he left the room.

Getting drunk anymore wipes out my entire weekend. I drank Friday night and recovered on Sunday. Not a hung-over drunk, just a "I want to lay around the house, garden, clean anything BUT run drunk"

I just figured it out. The knot in my back is from stress about this relay I'm in. Now what to do about it.

update: Just in case anyone is wondering. I've been on the no-kill shelters and the spca website and I just want to cry for these animals. (especially the spca) I'm going to be in a "mood" after I visit these places. A running mood or a six pack mood.

a friend

call me crazy, but I think Brandy needs a friend. A friend from the pound. My husband disagrees. I think I've been watching too many Animal Cop shows on Animal Planet. A beagle would be fun or a boxer.

I'd love a cat, but that would never happen unless I unleased a ton of mice onto our home.

A new neighbor moved in. She runs. She runs with a stroller. I asked her pace b/c I could always use a new running partner. 8:30 she says. That's a shame. She was nice. I guess I'll just drink with her.

Never say Never

I broke down and bought ANOTHER camera. A few test shots this past weekend.








I have some of my dear daughter, but I have other children than my own in the pictures so no can do.

That gorgeous dog ate my new wood patio chair too. Instead of being new it's now distressed.

Good

I feel good. Not great, but good. I run will make me feel great. Weather permitting that will happen this weekend.

Yesterday I worked the legs on the machines. It's something I haven't done since I trained for the half-marathon. Today there is just a tiny bit of soreness. Next time I do the machines I'm going to add some upper body to help my swimming and to get rid of the "bingo" arms I have going. (Bingo arms -- picture an old lady screaming "BINGO" and waving her arm high in the air and the gentle breeze that comes off what's left of her tricep....yeah that's it)

I also did some sprints on the treadmill. Walk at incline 5 and sprint for 2 minutes for a 9 min pace then quicker to 8 then finally a 7:43 pace. I actually ran a 5k at a 7:43 pace. I was amazed at that yesterday because my heartrate didn't even register. It said 71 and I think it was actually 171.

No swim, since I couldn't find my training suit. (the tankini doesn't feel right to me).

I must say my littlest rocked swim lessons. Not one tear, he jumped in without prodding (actually volunteered). There is one older boy (6) that everytime he goes under he holds his nose. David was copying him. I was glad he was copying dunking his head under, but not the nose holding. I don't understand the nose holding. It seems pointless.

stereotypicar

I prefer not to drive anywhere. Not for being green or anything, I'm just one of those people that can't deal with people who don't drive the way I do. I've catorgized them.

Buicks. Watch out. 99.9% of the time you are behind an old person. Most likely you can't see their head over the head rest. If you can it's gray hair. Expect a normal drive to take double the time. .01% it's their grandchild driving the car. Watch out because they are driving like a maniac. Expect the drive to take the normal time if you are behind one of them. All the while you will be thinking to yourself they are a maniac.

Toyota Camry. I don't know why people who drive this car drive slow. They seem to be in their 60s. I try to pass them.

Pirius owners. If the speed limit says 45 they will drive 30. I assume this is when the car is in electric mode. They usually have a license plate telling you they are "green".

Mini-vans. They are probably the fastest/craziest drivers out there. I try to stay away from them.

Mini-cooper. Think "Italian Job". I like people who own these. Even if they have gray hair.

Stick-shift small cars. That's me. We (I) think I'm in a Nascar race. Enough said. If only I had a mini-cooper.

BMW, Jaquar, Lexus (High end versions) WTF. You have this car and you drive like you are in a parking lot. Hit the gas lady. Yes it's a woman behind the wheel.

New Corvette. He's having a mid-life crisis. He will drive slow so we can see his car and him, OR he will drive fast because he's 18 (in his mind) again.

1960 decade Camero. Drive slower so I can gawk.

Suburban/Tahoe/Fords/Jeep/ SUV's. Usually they don't bother me. Unless my husband is behind the wheel. He'll let you in no matter what. Sometimes they can be like mini-van drivers though. You never know.

Audi. 90% of the time it seems like it's some rich kid driving their parents car OR the car their parents bought them. I try to stay away, unless it's I-95 then I figure the police will stop them before me.

Saturn. This car can either be a Buick or a small stick shift. If you can see the person's head and the hair isn't gray you are in the clear.

Jeep-Jeep. Usually some hot 20ish year old guy.

Trucks. Usually some hot 30-40ish year old guy in a baseball cap. They drive more on the normal side. Rarely a complaint.

Hummer. You are an idiot. And yes that is what we are all thinking when we see you. "Look at that Idiot". Then we laugh and laugh. Ok that's what we do in our car.

Now I'm off to the gym for weights and swimming. I wonder which of the above cars I will get behind. Probably the Buick.

2 something

miles and I felt like I was an 80 year old arthritic woman. Legs were lead and the stomach was not so good. Granted I ate dinner 20 minutes before the run and a skinny cow ice cream cone 5 minutes before I started. That might be the reason for the poor performance. Why would I do something so insane? I saw a portion of my relay team out running and scolded them for not inviting me and they of course invited me. I wish they didn't like me and had kept going. Thankfully R is on some sort of training program so we only had to go under 3 miles. I "heart" other peoples training programs when they aren't mine.

I know the bad run was a fluke, but it got my attention.

The good that came out of this experience is me going to the gym before swimming and working out my lower and upper body on the machines.

Still on the hunt for a new swimsuit. Of course I found a perfect Nike suit. All for the low price of $88. Yes it was the most expensive suit at the store. I would of bought it. Then my husband informed me we need new brakes on the Tahoe. Of course we do. I'm probably going to go the swimoutlet on line and getting the TYR suit. I'll shove my boobs in there and make it work.

Kids are up. Life starts now.

Life Lesson from Dad

Last night at a neighborhood party my son was called fat (he's not) stupid (he's not) but you get the picture. This from two boys who do not live in our neighborhood. I don't know why they picked on Tommy, but they had issues with him. What I liked was that his siblings, and friends (he's got a lot) stood up for him and were having none of it. Example: "NO ONE PICKS ON MY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER, NO ONE!" I don't know who these boys thought they were messing with, but they picked the wrong neighborhood kids to pick on.

Later in the night I saw one of the boys hit Tommy in the face. This is not acceptable. I couldn't get a good reason out of any of the boys so I let it go.

When we got home I told my husband what happened.

He went in and talked to Tommy.

"When people call you names walk away. If someone hits you first I want you to punch them in the face as hard as you can. Neither I nor your Mother will be mad at you. They will never bother you again."

I'm not one for violence, but I think my husband has a point.

He should of decked that kid last night.

Today

My son didn't cry at swim lessons.

I beat a 65+ year old man in a speedo in the pool. He was probably 10 laps ahead of me when I started though.

I kicked a pregnant's woman's (8 months) butt in the lane next to me. I thought she was just fat until she got out.

I swam a half mile.

I tried on a new speedo suit. It will never work because I have bigger than a A cup breast.

I could of used two(2) valium last night and again today.

I decided I really hate the word Mommy.

I think I might hate my husband because tonight is his target shooting night.

In less than 2 hours I will be in my good friend's hot tub drinking a glass of wine or a wicked Mojito. Fuck it...I might just bring the bottle of Patron Tequila I have. Yeah....that works.

Valium

There are days where I need to plan out when I should take a valium.

Case in point.

Yesterday I took all three kids to get a haircut. There were 10 people ahead of us. I should of known then to leave. I had put this off long enough. David's hair looked like the bird woodstock, Tommy, one of the Beatles and Julia's hair was just a plain mess because I tried to cut her bangs myself. While sitting Tommy decided to lay on the floor because I wouldn't let him lay on the couch. David decided Tommy needed to be kicked in the head, arms, legs and back. Julia, well she's my angel. She just sat there. I had Tommy move. David decided to run, bump into things and after awhile just argue with me. After my attempt to talk to him like an adult, then a child I threatened him that I was going to pull down his pants and smack his behind. Which brought pleas of "NO", but no change in behavior. For a kid that does everything in our house in the nude............... (I have more. Him running around outside naked, cleaning the dishes naked, eating breakfast naked.....)




having his pants pulled down makes him think everyone will laugh at his penis. (not that I pull them down so we can all look at his penis.) After the pants came down and the butt got some air David immediately stopped and sat on my lap. After getting hair cuts we had another moment in the sub shop where there was arguing, crying, yelling etc. Of course it couldn't go smoothly.

On the way home to drown out the arguing (b/c why would it end there) I cranked up my rock station. AC/DC came on and it was the song where they play the bag pipes. Tommy announced he wanted bag pipes. I started thinking about this. How cool would that be? He could play at St. Patrick's Day parties and be the coolest kid. I could see him now at a party, jamming on the pipes. The girls would swoon. I made a mental note to look into bagpipes. He then announced he didn't want lessons he just wanted to blow them in his sister's ear. There goes that fantasy.

There was another valium moment this morning. Tommy came down crying about his too short haircut. Decided he wasn't going to school. Cried, ooooh for about an hour. Yeah, she did cut his hair short, but he's a boy for the love of God. Are all middle children chronic complainers? Hmmm, "marcia, marcia, marcia"............ maybe so.

Now the latest fight was over the gardening hoe. Wait I'm not done, then it was over a 4 ft piece of wood. I'm sure my old (in age) neighbors can't stand me or the kids. You would of thought someone had their arm cut off.

It's off to a baseball game and no run because the dear husband has a work dinner. So I shall chase the littlest around the park, train tracks, watch 2 minutes of the game all the time wishing I had a valium.

Best of Breed

Ever watch dog shows? I do. Obviously I'm into the sporting and working group dogs. I have no desire to watch those little dog groups. Anyhow I'm all over Chesapeake Bay Retrievers. If we hadn't fixed our dog and we didn't have 3 kids I think we honestly could of shown her. I just had to say that.

Ok she's not a poser and it took me a few minutes to get this picture. She would prefer to sit down in front of me and wag her tail. Look at those hind legs! She's "cut" (for a dog). After my run I came in via the back yard and no one will ever rob our house while she is out there. I actually took my hat off so she would know it was me.

The birthday boy had a blast and I hear I make the best cakes because they are made with love.
Just plain chocolate cake and homemade icing. I can't deal with the chemical store bought brands anymore.

I even managed a run this morning. 9:20-9:30 pace on 2 of the miles. The run felt great. I didn't bother with my dog, b/c she slows me up too much. I tried a few zen moves on my run also. Tuck stomach in, tuck bottom in, straighten up and it actually works. Too bad I can't do that the entire run.

Again

Another run! This time with Brandy. She is a much better trail runner than a pavement runner. I guess we logged close to 2.5+ miles. Rather than have her tongue hang down to the pavement I allowed a 1/2 mile walk. That and she was trying to drink large puddles of water that had an oily sheen to them. All in all a good run. Slow, but good.

I'm in a "reuse" phase right now. Reduce, re-use and recycle life plan. I have found old painted cans, pails, an old enamel baking dish etc. I'm using these as pots for my container flowers. Yes I'm quite proud of myself. I'm also eyeing some new patio furniture. Which is probably what I will do all summer. Just eye it and buy it on clearance in the September.

Ok a little boy in this house turns 4 today. Need to finish decorating the cake (I baked!) and get him a present. Thankfully he doesn't realize that he hasn't really ever had birthday parties like the other two kids. I'm so "over" that.

Have a great weekend.

I ran

well I panted. At 4 minutes into the run it felt more like 10 minutes. Somewhere in the middle I did a 9:16 or maybe it was a 9:46 pace. See my brain lacked oxygen so I don't remember at this point. It felt like a 7 min mile pace though. Yes it was a sucky run, but it was a run nonetheless.

My digital camera is broken. I'm done with those little fuckers. I have my father's 35mm camera. I'm using that. I've been through 2 digital camera's in less than 9 years. I'm done throwing my money away. I wonder if they make 35mm film anymore. I wonder if I have to send the film "away" to get processed. How will I explain to the kids that "you can't see the picture right away"? Will I have to go into one of those "in the old days" speeches?

I don't think my youngest son gets that life doesn't revolve around him (it does). He has siblings that we like to spend time with. I would like to watch Tommy play baseball. Sure I ran (panted) during the first 22 minutes of his game, (mommy time) but I would of liked to see the rest of it. Did I? No. David decided that watching his brother play for 5 minutes was too much of a bad thing. In the future I might have to hire a babysitter. Wait, I'm broke from buying digital camera's, ipods, dvd players, gasoline, heating bills, and dog surgery. Which by the way I don't think I needed to pay for. I think I got completely screwed. You know why? Yesterday I walked her, she pooped out either a very long sock or a towel. Why the hell can't she eat a hair scrunchie?

My neighbor told me her Jack Russells (aka dogs from hell who I would like to kick across the street) stomach got bloated. After spending $500 on MRI's and all that .... the vet decided the dog drank too much water. See I'm beginning to think these vets (or the ones near me) are running these expensive tests to make payroll and don't really care about the animal. I had one vet try to get me to run a series of expensive tests on my 15 year old mutt. Wanted to check to see if he had cancer. For god's sake the dog is 105 years old. The dog passed away in her sleep within 6 months.

I didn't realize I was in such a bitchy mood.

I must be hungry.

My new favorite sport is baseball. Piedmont-farm league baseball that is. It's not nearly as exciting as swim team, but I'm loving it anyway. (anything is better than soccer) Of course my pricey digital camera has broken so I have no pictures of the most handsome 7 year old boy in his uniform.

I had to buy him a cup. He asked me to help him with it. Sorry, bear but you need to go to daddy with that. I'm not getting near that thing.

3 weeks ago I thought the purchase of a baseball bag was frivolous. Yeah, yeah I went out and bought one. I have a feeling this is a sport he will stick with. He's still doing swim team for a few more years though. The benefits of that outweigh everything.

Today is raining. No run. I'm thinking of joining WW again. My eating is out of control. Having a sleepover birthday party this weekend was no help. (chips, m&m's, homemade peppermint patty cake...........................................) yeah it was a "coo" in my kitchen with me winning. I was extremely jealous of some chick all in her running gear at opening day ceremonies. Why? Because I should of been in my running gear. Instead I'm in my street clothes after dealing with a bunch of 9 year olds. I had just given 4 girls pedicures and manicures. In the time it took me to do that I could of run 4 miles.

David is all over me. Conversation about how he didn't pee his bed, but only his underwear. I don't even want to check. Oh and he's HUNGRY. Maybe there is some cake left.

misc

Our new washer has this sanitize feature. I thought it was pretty stupid. Well I must take it back. My mother's beautiful lace tablecloth had the ugliest yellow stain on it and now it's gone. Amazing. I think the stain was there for at least 10 years.

Ok....is anyone else out there feeling the recession like us? Heating bills are out of control. We only drive the Vibe around town and it seems my checking account is always under $100. My credit card debt is out of control (I blame the dog and her eating habits on that one) The only big purchase I have bought in the past year is the washer. My husband wants to go to the beach for a week (we didn't do it last year and instead went to the Poconos for free) I don't know how to break it to him that we can't afford it. We could afford a 3 day trip, but a week, I don't think so.

We haven't bought any new clothes. David wears Tommy's old one. Julia gets hand me downs from her cousin and can pretty much wear the same size as last year. Tommy has hand me downs from his friend and I just buy him new Levi's every year.

I just don't know where the money is going.

I'm setting up a garden so I don't have to waste money on veggies this summer.

I blame one man for this.

Stupid is as stupid does.

I'm tired of arguing with a 3 year old.

I'm tired of watching movies when the mom tells her kid "later, I'm busy" and the child gets all weepy eyed and the movie goer thinks "what a bad mom".

I like seeing kids acting much worse than my 3 year old. I feel sorry for the mom, but realize I am not alone in pulling my hair out.

I seem to be saying the "serenity prayer" more often lately.

Now that the weather has warmed up, baseball practice is in season I can get some runs in while my dear husband watches all the kids. All I need is 30 minutes.

I have to plan a sleepover party for 6 9 year old's. I love it when kids get older. No games, no crafts that I have to help out on. No more parties where you have to invite 12 kids.

Need to get David to swim practice. Wish me luck!

You know what pisses me off (today)?

People who borrow your shit and don't return it. The latest is my neighbor who was entertaining and wanted something fancy to showcase cupcakes. I lent her my STERLING SILVER, fancy-pants cookie thing-a-ma-jig. It's a one of a kind (it was my mothers) It's been almost 3 weeks and she hasn't returned the damn thing. WTF? Does she think I'm going to "forget"?

I've had this happen before with another neighbor. She was entertaining and needed fancy-pants salad tongs. She wanted STERLING SILVER. I lent her my MAPLE WOOD-STERLING SILVER salad tongs. Again...one of a kind from my mother. Two (2) months later I called her for them. Like....what was she doing with them? Seriously people. Did she think I would forget? If it were tupperware I could give a crap...but this is serious stuff here.

I'm sitting here wondering where is my neighbor stashing the cupcake/cookie holder. You can't put in a drawer. It's needs a cabinet. You can't leave it in the air (unless you like polishing silver) and I didn't give her the silver bag.

Geesh.

Other than that...it is gorgeous here. Heat is off, windows open and the kids are running around outside like crazy.

Love it. The other thing is still pissing me off though.