I finished a 7 mile run about an hour ago. I hit the three mile mark in 27:15 min and did 7 miles in 1hr and 4 minutes. Not to shabby. About a 9 min pace. I definately need to get some wicky clothing to run in. I had my running tank on and my cotton long sleeve on top and I was overheated and sweating by mile 5. Gross. I wanted to take the long sleeve cotton off, but would of looked like an idiot. My big question is : why at 18 minutes do I want to quit running. What is so fricken special about that time. It happens everytime I run. I could be doing an 8, 9, 10 min pace and it will happen. I just don't get it. I do get in the groove around mile 4 and about dead at mile 6. I'm going to stay at 7 miles for another 3 or so weeks.

I hope to get in an XC run tomorrow. I'm running that 5k-XC race in late November. Some family members are going to run it with me too. I hope to get pics of us for that one. The hubby will be at this race. I will get into it later, but it's a whole family (his) thing going on that day.

Went to my WW lifetime weigh in on Saturday. Their scale is 2lbs heavier than mine. It has NEVER been that weigh (pun). I made it under maintenace by .4lbs. I will be so pissed off if I have to pay. I definately need to drop 10lbs before the marathon. I would like to drop it by November 25th though. That was my goal.

Smoking. I don't really talk about my struggles with this issue. I'm still smoke free. Some days/times are so hard. I have some pretty wicked cravings. Running is my savior. I can't imagine running and smoking again. Actually I don't know how I ever ran and smoked before. I really think my better times are from not smoking, not the training.

Soccer is over. That is all I need to say on that issue. I will never volunteer for soccer mom again either. Somebody who only has one child can do that.

Cookie monster:

This is how a 19 month old steals a cookie. I caught him the day after he got to his sister's class cookies. He went into the bathroom (skipped playing in the toilet) took the kids stool, walked into the kitchen then scoped the area out. I think he's looking for cookies that should be cooling on the oven. Not there so he will go for the club crackers instead.

I'm sure I could post on and on about weight and exercise etc...but I'm taking the three kids to a neighbor's house for a fall festival fair thing.

Ciao!!!

The hill

Blogger sucks with photo's.

This is the "hill" I'm training on. I try to do this hill once a week. Since I can run it, I now try to do sprints on it. What fun.

The picture to the left is the start of "the hill". Now where the picture stops (yes the very top where you can't see road) is where the picture below picks up. Actually looking at these pictures it's a long ass hill. This is my hill and it's going to really help me in the half marathon if I keep working it every week. Right?

The third picture is the final climb. Actually it's a sprint moment b/c it's so pathetic.









ran today and did some hill training also. Not these hills, other ones which are a tad bit easier. Ran about 5 miles. It wasn't my best run or my worst. I'm glad I stayed off my leg for 5 days though. I could still feel the knot in my calf. I know how I got it now. You can not go from a jog right into a sprint (well not at my age) you need that 2 step stride and then go. Live and learn.

Me

I was checking out the pictures to the last 5k I ran. I'm never in the pictures b/c I don't seem to be in "the know". My husband hasn't come to the races to photo me b/c:

The beach race...he needed to get fishing ASAP
The Breast Cancer race...he needed to take the kids to church and Sunday school.

Anyhow I digress...I was looking at the last race photo's and I found myself. My arms are fat and my belly is hanging over my shorts. I am all woman. Actually you can barely see me, I'm in the back in the dark. Here's the link to the photo...i would know that belly anywhere! (fyi--blue shorts and white tank top..not the double chin chick) I have no chin in picture. (pic is pathetic really ... you can't see anything.)

http://wkursh.photosite.com/10-16-05/17th_Making_Strides_Against_Breast_Cancer_5k_10-16-05_013.html Geesh, you can see back fat too. My arms are fricken huge. I need to work on that. I don't look like I weigh 144. The camera put on 30lbs. I can't remember my bib #, but that is my belly and I know those sneaks anywhere. I'm not looking like an athlete. That baby looks about due in 6 months now.

Other things that will bring your day down:

spoiled milk (even though the container says 10/31/05)
a mealy apple

I have only worked out once this week. I need to get a run in tomorrow and a long run in on Sunday if possible. I would like to run part of the 1/2 marathon course to kinda get the feel of it. I feel super fat, but weighed in at 143. So all is not bad in the world.

Injury

Not much to report. I'm injured again. I went out for a sorta long run (ended up being around 6 miles) and on my last 1 minute of running, I pulled my left calf muscle. I actually felt it "pop". Before that it was a good run. I was doing hill sprints, running backwards for shin strenghthing. (If anyone is reading an 80 year old woman's blog she is probably writing about the freaky girl running backwards up hill. She actually stopped sweeping her driveway when I went by. I'm sure she thinks I'm tripping on acid.) Anyhow I was running backwards down my final hill and was getting ready to hard sprint back up it and the leg just went. Today has always been a gym day and I actually skipped it and came right into work. I have iced/heated/electric implused by calf. I think all of it helped. I will do the gym tomorrow and either elliptical or swim for my cardio.

I actually took pictures of one of my hills to brag, but when I post them they get all messed up. (hence why I haven't posted in awhile) When I get some time I will post the pics.

I'm debating on adding a XC race in November. It's suppose to be an extremely hard course to run. I would be running in the Women's open and Masters time slot. What the hell is a Master? Are these ladies that run 5k's in 15-19 min? I wanted my husband to run with me, but he's not interested. (which I will get into later on why...it's a huge story that really has nothing to do with running)The prizes for this race are amazing (not that i'm in contention) I just don't want to be the last one over that finish line.

It is starting to get cold around here on runs. I need to get some warm tops and gloves for my 1/2 training. I'm not looking forward to putting pants on for my runs. I'm still in shorts and plan on staying in them for as long as possible.

I figured how "the baby" got that cookie the other day. I actually took a picture of it. He cracks me up. I will post that later too. Oh and my daughter's class did not vomit, or die from my baking. These poor children actually wanted more of my cookies. Which just proves to me that every other mother in this state only lets her children eat veggies for snacks and desserts.

Run, baking and soccer

Running:

Well let's see. I did a timed run/poor attempt at sprints on Wednesday night. I've forgotten how hard sprints are on the real road. I didn't even try to do hubby's "sprint on your toes" theory. I think hubby wanted me to walk after the sprints or jog super slow. I didn't do either. Anyhow, I did walk some and I basically ran 3.5 miles in around 30 minutes. It was all in all a crappy run. Not because of the time it took, I just wasn't into it.

Thursday. Woke up to 144. (yeah) Since it's going to rain all weekend, I decided to do the long run. Which btw is not six miles it's 6.856 miles. I did the first mile in 9.16 and the last mile in 10 minutes. I'd rather be more consistent but it's a start. I did 3 miles in 26 minutes. The hill is killer. I will post pictures of this hill when I have more time. (b/c I love when people post pictures on their blog!) All in all the whole run took 1 hour and 4 min.

How the hell did I run 8.15 min miles last Sunday? It must of been the carbs or something. I have no idea I had that in me. I think it was a fluke.

Baking:

I suck at it. I will never make cookies ever again. I truly, truly can NOT make cookies. I made those premade cookies and they weren't good. I had to make cookies for J's class (23) and since I ate one square of the dough before I started (i love that shit) I had just enough for the class. While I was waiting for them to cool, the baby decided to somehow reach up there and take half a cookie. I have no idea how he even reached up that far. So now I had to make some box cookies. I made them and they were worse. I sent the girl to school with the gross cookies and hope those kids don't vomit them up at snack time.

Soccer:

I went to my 4.85 yr old soccer practice yesterday. I haven't seen him play soccer since this summer. Not because i'm a bad mom, but b/c I take J to her practice and hubby goes to T's game. Anyhow:

Scene: hubby and me going to sleep

me: ""t" sucks at soccer"
hubby: "No shit"

Even the faggy kid is better than him. Well the faggy kid is really, really good. I don't think my son is going to be athletic. Which pangs my heart. Not that I want him to be a dick jock I was just hoping he might be athletic at something. Hubby's family was very athletic (Kennedyish) I was the loser kid who always got picked last... and yes later on I became athletic via swim team. Maybe he'll go the same path. He's a sweet kid, so if this is all that is "wrong" I can't/shouldn't complain.

Scheduling

Since I went to sleep at 8:15 last night (why?) I woke up at 4:30 this morning. Yipee? I thought about putting on the running clothes and being like Jennifer P and heading out for a 4-5 mile run. Then I realized I can not run in the dark. Too scary. My luck I will trip over a cat, step on a kitten or get mugged. So I went downstairs and watched the news and an infomericial about this thing you put on your stomach to sweat the inches off. So funny.

This is weird. It has happened twice. I don't know if it's a freaky dream or what. I hear my phone do half rings at night. It has happened twice. (maybe that's why I woke up at 4:ish) It "rings" about 4times and stops. I asked hubby about it and he looks at me like i'm crazy. Though I know he stirred/mumbled when it happened. Am I dreaming this shit. Of course with my freaky brain I think it's a sign. A sign of what....I don't know. I'm reading too many Dean Koontz books or something. If it happens again, I'm answering the phone.

Ok, I should of been writing my food down/points awhile ago. I really did go off the whole diet thing. I just want to drop another 10lbs before the 1/2 marathon. The one thing about the WW booklets it keeps you on your toes about drinking your water and more importantly for me...eating my veggies. Yesterday I was about 24 points, but had 4 activity points so basically I broke even.

I love fall, but HATE that the days are so much shorter. I would love to run tonight, but by the time hubby comes home I have maybe 40 min to get a run in. I'm addicted to future weather forecasts too. I have my eyes on Saturday for a long run (6miles) but they are calling for rain. I want to get in a cross country run in tomorrow, but I need to find the time between everything else I have to do. I'm forever scheduling in my head. My legs are somewhat better. I've been using the electronic impulse machine and it has made my glute better. My legs are a little sore today, but I think it's just from doing the eliptical.

I've been "tagged" by Neca. My 23rd post and my 5th sentence reads: "just two more weeks and I'm done with it" Which is about me on the eliptical machine. I was using it to f around with my metabolism b/c I stopped losing weight...isn't that weird...I've come full circle from that time. Just a week and 1/2 and I'm done with it again! So how does this work I tag someone else. Let's see...Jennifer (i don't think you've been tagged) Lori (if you are still with us) and Marci (if you even read this) I think Zara was already it.

145. Still I'm writing down everything. I just finished my lunch and I'm at 12 points already. That means I have 8 points left. The afternoon apple is 2 and the ff yogurt I think is 1. I left the counter at home.

Did not workout yesterday. My left glute is all fucked up. I think it all goes back to the calf muscle getting pulled when I took off to pass the pokies at the race. I probably could of ran on it, but have learned my lesson about running on pulled muscles. I went to the gym today. I skipped the leg machines, did eliptical (hill for 20 min) core and arms. I wasn't in a pool mood, even though I dreamt of flip turns last night. (weird)

I got so much accomplished yesterday. I may have mentioned it here, but I am the most unorganized person in the United States. My husband is next in that line (unless it involves hunting, fishing, shooting, poker or cutting the grass.) I organized my closet, got rid of all the "fat" clothes, had dh hang up the drapery bar that has been sitting in our room (the other one is still in the dining room) since we purchased them about 6 weeks ago. Hubby will hang the other one up tonight. We can't strain him people. I will order my blinds so my neighbors free show of me walking around naked for the past 6 years ends this week.

I'm still thinking of that 5k this past weekend. I need to run these races more often. I'm still on a high. I don't think I can break my personal record either. I was crusing. Not bad for someone who just started running in March. While running the race I decided i'm a nutcase for doing a 1/2 marathon. That passes quickly b/c it's always in those first 10 minutes when at most times I decide : I hate running/why the fuck am I doing this/what time is it?/is it almost over/am I a third of the way done yet?/ Those feeling usually pass by the 15minute mark. And...obviously I wouldn't be running a 1/2 marahon in 8:15 min pace. I wonder what my heartrate was near the end. I didn't even sprint to the finish line. I kinda slowed up when I got there. I did finish 5th in my age group and 33 out of 247 people. (fyi the last person finished in 58.09 min) Anyhow I'm still on a high from it all. Hope to get out a run tomorrow night or a x-country run on Thursday, depending on the weather.

A final thought...I like running to rap music. What gives?

pen to paper

148 lbs this morning. 147 yesterday morning. A return to smoking is tempting, but after yesterday's PR is doubtful. The weight went right to the 'ole breasts (husband is happy) and no one can tell I have gained, but I am pissed. I'm going back to the tried and true method of WW and counting points and writing everything down.

Exercise today looks doubtful. If I pop some ibuprofen I might be able to get 45 min of cross country in. My strained calf muscle still hurts and the glute above it is tight. Looks like I'm back on elipitical at the gym to f around with my bodies metabolism. I have another 5k in two weeks (last of the year) before training for the half.

Damn I'm pissed. I think I quit at 143 and I put on 5lbs in two weeks. I don't think I ever took off 5lbs in 2 weeks at WW. Crap. I hate moving backwards.

Onwards to the struggle.

In the loop

25.18 PR for a 5k baby!!!! Ok so it was a super dooper flat course, but ha, ha I'm getting better.

I ran the best I could and was exhausted at the end. Pace was about 8:15ish I think. All in all I am happy about this race.

I was trying to pick off this one chick in a J-Lo velour sweatsuit with her hair in pig-tails. God, she was pissing me off in the beginning of the race. She kept turning around and laughing and talking to her friends. She didn't even look like a real runner. I kept waiting to see her walking and she beat me by a minute. Don't judge a book by it's cover I guess. Oh, and my other vent I absolutely, positively hate these people that place themselves in the front of the start when they are so fricken slow! I thought I had placed myself to close to the front (that's for those 6 min pacers) and I ended up tripping over all the slowpokes. Ended up pulling my left calf muscle trying to get around these people. My friend Bons (1/2 marathon training partner) impressed me. She finished only a minute behind me. I picked off a lot of people and no one picked me off and I finished all alone and by myself. I do wonder if some chick were in front of me if I would of run faster. Oh well. I did very good and I'm happy with myself. Now it's time to work on breaking 25 minutes.

Did the google game: Mary needs:

prayers
apostles
opportunities to play & experience movement in a variety of positions,
needs to be freed from all of this.
clever rhymes are no substitute for a treatment program.
to be great
some attention to her hair. (how true!)

Final rant of the day:

Why do people say "you look tired." Why not just come out and say it "you look like shit" or better yet..."I feel like putting you down and making you feel that you look like crappy"
Dicks.

out of the loop

I've been very bad about posting to my blog. This past week has been a tough one for me. I just wasn't feeling right is so many ways:

felt fat
felt crappy
muscles hurt
extreme temper tantrums (fuck, shit and goddamn were the words of the week)
extreme tiredness
Murphy's Law was in effect all week

My poor family. I almost caved and started smoking again b/c everything was so bad/wrong.... you name it. Anyhow I ended up getting my period 5 days early and I am hoping that is what made me crazy this week. I actually ate an entire bag of potato chips yesterday. (one of the big bags!!!) Sometimes my cycle affects me in weird ways. This was just a very bad cycle. I hope the above is over for good. Especially the Murphy's Law portion of it.

I need to run today/tonight. I skipped the gym this morning b/c that is not what I need. I do not need a treadmill going to nowhere. I need to feel the road under my feet, smell the crisp cool air and feel the breeze against my body. I need Mother Nature, not machines. I need to run. I can not wait to get out there. I hope this is a good run. If not I will make it a good run.

I have a race on Sunday for breast cancer research. I hope that goes well and my body holds up. I'm looking forward to a good trail run on Monday also. All in all a pretty sucky/boring week. Just not feeling like myself.

"my back, my back, my back" - Spiderman, Spiderman II

If it's not one thing it's another with me. I cannot win at this game. Sprints went great on the 'mill..I had to slow the final one down (was at 8.8 which is a 6.49min mile) and I think my heartrate was about 186? Mission was accomplished though. Since I'm Mrs. Big on Stretching I went to the mats and used my towel to stretch my shins and hampstrings....well I stretched something out in my back. Right now I'm on 3 advil and thankfully live near a chiropractor who can adjust me. I have never been adjusted (like Canadian geese it scares the shit out of me) but my back is KILLING ME. I would love to have inversion boots. You know the ones where you hang upside down from a bar, (like a bat)....wouldn't that feel great on the legs and back? I think it would.

Food has been good today. I put the making of chicken soup in the crockpot this morning. I can't wait to walk in the house and smell the cooking! I hope it tastes good. I've decided that tootsie rolls and crockpots are two of the greatest inventions. Tootsie rolls, b/c they will quiet any kid for at least 10 minutes (i really am a good mom) and the crockpot b/c I cooked dinner at 7:30 this morning.

My weight is stable at 144. I am wearing size 6 gap jeans. I have no idea how old these jeans are. They are probably old navy sized though...i am in NO WAY a size 6. It's weird getting my fat gut in these pants...I think they are kinda like "mom jean's" though. They come up to the belly button and the red marks, indentations are visably gross going across my midsection. My backside looks pretty good though.


---disclaimer: not sure how many times Spiderman said "my back" in Spiderman II. It was more than once and less than 6x----

X-Country

Yes, that's the cool way to say it. I finally tried my feet & legs at x-country running. The result....I love it. I ran on cool trails, saw bodies of water, little bridges, people fishing and even horses. Though on some parts of the trails I ran I felt like:
a: a character on Law & Order (the dead girl they find in the woods)
b: this looks an awful lot like the "blair witch project". Why is there a broom tied to a tree? (seriously!!!)
c: i know those Canadian geese are following me.
d: where the hell am I?

Anyhow it was a good run. You are definately using different muscles running on mulch, gravel and grass trails. My legs have never felt better. I would like to run x-country, sprints and a long asphalt road run once a week each.

Tomorrow is gym day. I get to go back to sprints on the treadmill and I'm skipping hamstring leg work and going back to outer/inner hip abductors. Looking forward to it. I hope to get some good core work in also. I didn't count my points today. It's so hard on the days I'm a SAHM. The days I work it is so much easier. I'm so more organized. I need to get back down to 20 points a day to combat sugary eating binges. I sound like a broken record.

I had a mommie dearest moment in the pharmacy today. My littlest one (death of me) was running to the open door and I LOST it. He was the easiest baby ever and now he is so devilish. Right now he's hitting his older brother. Yesterday he broke a yardstick over his brother's head/nose/face...we aren't sure which. Of course it says on the yardstick "not to be used a child punishment device" To bad babies can't read.

What have I done to myself

Finally got a chance to go running early this morning. My crutch (IPOD) was out of battery power so I had to run listening to my heavy breathing. What have I done to my legs is my main question of the day. I got a 5k out and that was about it. (had to walk 2x because my lower hamstring muscles were hurting and my shins started acting up again also) I've decided that if I run tomorrow I'm going to the park and running on grass/gravel whatever they have there. I will only do a long run maybe once a week too. I'm glad I didn't attempt a 6 miler today or it would of been a long walk back. I need to get my legs back to normal. Maybe I need new shoes. I've only done about 250-300 miles in the ones I have now, but that is the only other variable other than running 6 mile runs on two different days with one day of rest. Ok they were extreme hill runs, but come on....

Ive also decided that you are what you eat. I've been eating a lot of crap lately. That is done starting tomorrow. (there are still some sugar cookies to be made today LOL) I think part of my problems are with the crappy eating habits I picked up in the last week. Enough is enough. I would like to drop 5lbs by October 31st.

Well I think i'm going to heat up my left hamstring for 20 minutes (it did wonders on my upper back where that massage guy did something freaky to that muscle)

Let's hope tomorrow is better.

146.2. Whew, another 0.9 and it would of been failure and I would of had to pay. I am completely back on points starting Monday. I have just let myself go with food. Not smoking is getting harder and harder. I'm still not smoking...i'm just not understanding this developement.

Got my massage. I don't feel guilty for blowing $90 on myself. My legs feel great (though I'm still having some lower hamstring issues on my right leg) He really worked my shins, back and stretched my legs out. I got a massage for my head and feet too. I must say it was the 2nd best massage ever. I guess I should get one after the 1/2 marathon. Speaking of races, I signed up for a 5k next weekend. One of those race for the cure. Just women running. How weird is that? Maybe it's not weird, though kinda sexist if you ask me.

I haven't been running since Monday. I would love to go today, but we are being drenched in rain. I could drive to the gym and do sprints, but I'm just not really into it. I have to get on the scale...that will get me motivated. Right now hubby is sleeping...he had a poker game here last night and it didn't break up until 3:30 am. My basement smells like a cheap cigar.

I feel fat.

heh, heh, heh! Has anyone tried this? Go to google, type in "failure" and then hit "i feel lucky" Crack me up!!!!!

Not good

144lbs. Can NOT believe that! Going for a weight in at WW tomorrow. Will probably put on 3lbs for that. (i ate everything in the house yesterday from 3:00 pm until 10pm)

Non smoking is getting harder and harder. Why is that? The cravings/urges are hard to fight off. I actually had 3 urges in one hour yesterday. I have never smoked 3 ciggarettes in an hour in my life before. It is suppose to get easier not harder. From all I've read the nicotine is basically out of my system. I'm getting ready to kill my husband and the kids at this point can eat whatever they feel like, because I don't feel like dealing with them. My sweet 6 year old had lollipop for breakfast this morning. Of course the 4 year old followed suit. That reminds me they need to go to the dentist.

I was so not in the mood to workout this morning. I went anyway. I did hamstring work, core and some arms. I swam for 14 minutes (600 yards?) and got out of the pool because I sucked. My stroke was sloppy, I felt like crap and I just wasn't into it. At one point I thought someone else was in the lane next to me b/c the water was so fucking choppy and it was me making it choppy. I have no idea why swimming sucked ass today. I'm trying to stay off my legs until Saturday, so sprints (hiit) were out.

God, I hope this gets better.

Still good

144. Cool.

Still not smoking. Super cool. (though it is still hard dealing with these urges) I just think of running the 1/2 marathon and swimming laps, and laps of freestyle.

My legs: Very, very bad. I really screwed up with running 12 miles w/in 3 days. SOOOOO....it's about time to get the massage I keep talking about. I was suppose to get a massage when I lost all the weight, then I was suppose to get a massage when I could run 5 miles w/out walking....blah, blah, blah. Well I finally made an appointment and have one Friday morning. This guy, Donald, better be good. I told the girl I had sports injuries that I needed help with. So she gave me Donald. I haven't had a massage since I was pregnant w/#3 and that was a half hour massage for sciatica (sp) This is one full hour. God I can't wait. I hope he isn't a talker like the last hour massage I got. That lady wouldn't shut up. It was the worst massage ever. I felt worse when I left then when I got there.

I think I'm going to have to do some of these distance runs in the park on trails and grass. And not do two longs runs so close together. Tomorrow is an exercise day...I might just do the repeat of Tuesday (swim, weights and core)

Such a boring hump day.

Good girl

144. Much better. (but I just ate a bag of "real" potato chips (3 million points?) so who knows.

My kids were helping me ice my legs last night. My dear husband gave me the 5th degree on my running stride etc....doesn't understand shin splints (since the last time I think the man ran was the Marine Corp Marathon...when he was an in-shape Marine in his 20s) Damm him.

Anyhow, I should explain why I am running with confirmed shin splints. I was going to wait until Saturday, (had my blog post all in my head too) But there is a reason I am obsessed with working out and my scale numbers.

I quit smoking on Saturday, October 1, 2005. So I have been running like a fool to combat the discusting eating I did the first two days of no cigs. (chocolate chips in the peanut butter and a large spoon comes to mind) I have decided to do a 1/2 marathon in March and I cannot do that and smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. I can run a 5k every weekend and smoke like a fiend, but 13.1 miles. NOpe. I've been wanting to quit all summer, but with drinking, parties every weekend it wasn't realistic. I made a promise to myself that when my weight dropped to 140lbs I had to quit. Hence, my confusion of my weight dropping to 140 w/out my even trying. I didn't think I could quit with a toddler going through the terrible 18, 19, 20,21,22,23 (months) and 2's either. But for some reason it hasn't been THAT hard. Oh, it's been tough, but I have not killed any children or attempted murder on my husband in the past few days. I get crazy smoking urges, but they are gone within 5 minutes. I still miss smoking, but then again, I'm glad to be done with it. Does that make sense? I am a non-smoker. If I can quit anyone can. I did it cold turkey. I had a perscription for the patch, but decided I didn't need any crutches. I want this shit out of my system NOW, not in 12 weeks. (actually met a quitter at a party this past weekend and she's addicted to the nicorette gum...buys it by the case!) Today is day 4 of no smoking. All the nicotine and crap they put with it are completely out of my system. I supposedly have a week and half before all urges are completely gone. I doubt that.

Smoking was (i didn't realize this at the time) my obsession. All I thought about was smoking. On Saturday night (day 1) I came home from the store with a salad and as I was getting out of the car my mind actually said to me...cool after you eat the salad you can smoke. I'm serious!! I bet my heartrate jumped up in anticipation of finishing that salad and sitting outside for a smoke. I cannot imagine never smoking again. I have to do this one day at a time and in a couple months never smoking again will seem natural.

I'm very interested also (hence crazy running) will running and swimming get easier? I guess running has, since running 6+ miles a day in 3 days is a crazy thing to do for a girl who thought four miles was soooo long about a week ago. Swimming today was nice. Flip turns didn't seem to be so hard anymore. I am getting some lugies every now and then. Gross, but progress. I also have trouble sleeping. I pass out on the couch (i nap a lot too) at 9:00 pm and go to the actual bed at 10:00 pm and wake up around 2 then 3 then 5. This sucks. I should go downstairs, clean or do wash, but I'm scared I will have an urge and drive to the all night store and ruin my streak here.

So this blog is about exercise and my goals to lose weight and get in shape. Well not smoking makes me more in shape then ever or so they say. I might post at the end each day of the trials and tribuliations I had not smoking or not...well see.

145+. Can you say FUCK?

Did not run last night. Ran 6.38 miles today. (or for 1 hour and 2 min) My legs are killing me. The entire leg is killing me not just the shins. (I will be doing some serious icing tonight though)As I was rounding around 5 miles I turned onto a certain road and saw someone in front of me. Of course I have to speed up and pass this person. You know, show them "who is boss". I'm catching up to them and can't decide if it a woman or a man. All I know is that they have a white baseball cap on. I get closer and closer (my stride is awesome, it's like i'm in a race...i'm so full of myself) I get closer and closer....it's an 80year old gray/balding man. Oh, yeah, I am so (not) cool. Ok so now I have to keep up this stupid race pace I have going. I hit the light (at this miserable intersection) and I need to cross NOW or I'll sit here for 5 min. So I start a sprint (have I mentioned how cool I "think" I am?) Ok so I start the sprint... have you ever seen that commerical where the guy is at the Ironman and he just collapses before the finish line..his legs get all woobly and crazy, it's like watching a train wreck.... well on my sprint accross the highway my left leg starts to wobble like that guys. The next 5 min flash before my eyes, I collapse in the highway and try to crawl home, cars start to beep their horns, b/c I'm not crawling fast enough and an 80 year old gray haired man runs by and shows me who is boss. Well obviously that did not happen. I recovered. But I know those people in the first cars were like "oh noooooo, she's going to fall........whew she recovered".

later:

icing the shins hurts like hell!

144lbs. ARGH.

Had an early morning soccer game. I'm officially an obnoxious soccer mom. As are all the mom's on our team. We decided or observed that unless you tell your kid what to do the girls will just stand there and look at the ball. Our team was lousy. 13-2. Ouch.

I ran for 59.36 minutes. I google pedometered it. 6 miles. Ha, the furthest I have ever run. I went up an obnoxious hill too. Usually we run down it, but this time I decided to run up it. I'm all proud of myself. I just decided to find another route today. Some "BIATCH" actually drove in the running lane (shoulder) about 25 yds ahead of me. I had to jump on the grass till she passed on the road. Of course I flipped her the bird (after she drove by) but what a bitch!! Do you think that's funny? Sometimes being pissed of is good on a run. I know I definately need new songs on my IPOD. Some of the ones I put on there are pissing me off too. I need to find another way home from this run. It was too much of a dangerous country road in places. Though that makes for some good sprints.

Went to a 3 year olds b-day party. The last time anyone saw me was around Easter (whenever that was) so I heard a lot of "you look great", "how did you do it". I've decided that I must of been 165lbs of pure fat. I lost 20lbs (as of weight today) and you would of thought I lost 40lbs. People were shocked at how I looked. Heck some of my fat clothes still fit me, so I'm not getting this. I wish I had taken more pics of myself when I was heavier so I could get a sense of how crappy I looked. One friend asked me if I had tons more energy since I lost so much weight. Was I that much of a slob. I know when our neighbor was showing his boss our 5k times she was shocked that I could actually run. I must of been a pig.

I have eaten like a pig today. I know why, but there is nothing I can do about it. I'm debating on a 2 - 3 mile run. My shins were killing me this morning. Either I take this as a rest day or just walk. (which I already did). If I rest I can run long tomorrow and swim on Tuesday.

Ok this baby is crying to go outside. Time to be a good mommy.