Real smart

Went trap shooting yesterday. Was in a pissy, wine drinking mood. Is that good? Drinking wine before handling a 12 gauge shot gun? The answer is yes AND no. First we had to wait over an hour before we were up. I have no patience. None, whatsoever. I sat around and looked at all the unhealthy people. Really quite sad, but they sure shoot well. We finally go up. I kill the target on my first shot. Killed it! My second, nicked it. My third, the gun recoiled and hit my boob. (because I wask dicking around and not paying attention...c/b the wine wearing off) Boobs are all fat and that was it. I was done. They (the other dudes + hubby) finished the round and my husband MADE ME go up and use his gun (less recoil) I smashed the first one and he made me do two more. You know all that "you fall off the horse, you get back on" talk. My boob hurt so much I was afraid to shoot again. I kept tensing up and that is not good. Though I think I learned the secret to destroying those targets.

I guess a lesson learned for the day is good. At the price of my right breast...not so good.

Crap

I had a job interview today where they were in desperate straits. I thought I did well, but after I left I had about 20 questions I could of asked. Fuck! I went in there with a so-so attitude. Real calm and not in dire straits. I AM in dire straits. What the hell is wrong with me. Fuck. This place would of been perfect. They made their decision this afternoon and so far no phone call and it's well past 5.

Look on the brightside I can still work-out, move furniture, rugs, hang up pictures, cook dinners, have the wash pretty well under control and go on more field trips.

Yeah, I'd rather have a job.

Crap. (i'll pound out my frustrations at the gym tomorrow...and probably pull some muscle or another.)

Ironic

Driving today thinking to myself : "do I really want a full-time job? I like running errands, working out at the gym, cooking dinners, getting all the wash done and put away. Hmmmm"

Get home and I have landed a job interview tomorrow.

Go figure.

OMG

Am I the only human who wants a flip (clamshell) phone with a qwerty keyboard? I don't want a candy bar shaped phone. I have the Envy and I'm always dialing some unknown number with my purse. I love to text and I don't want to go back to the letters on the number keys. I don't want a blackberry either. Why should I check my email and pay an extra $30+ per month when the computer is in the next room? I found the perfect phone, but it's only available on the Sprint network and around here that network sucks.

Yeah, this is a stupid vent. I just really hate my cell phone.

The good the bad, richer and poorer

I always like bad news first....

The bad:

My husband's company is closing down it's doors on 12/30/2009. All jobs will be lost or moved to New York state.

Every week I destroy a part of my body. This week I somehow destroyed my left stomach muscle. I learned that you use your stomach for most exercises. Things like pushups, squats, medicine balls etc. My FIT class today was a waste.

Poorer: (because that is bad news)

We have hit rock bottom. I have drained our savings, we are close to maxing out the credit cards and my unemployment ends 12/30/2009.

The good:

My husband got a full-time job that pays 7k more than this last position! We are going to be rich in a few weeks. (well for us) Since his hours and pay were cut 30% for the past 8 months this is fantastic!

Richer:

My friend is going through a rough (real bad) personal time right now. I realize how rich I am in family. How absoultely wonderful my husband is and how great I truly have it. I look at the "rich" people I know and how miserable their lives are. Consumed with the "joneses", consumed with their gossip, their jealousness, their material possessions and their cattiness. As "poor" as we are right now, honestly...life is truly good.

Letters to the family

Joe,

This is NOT a laundry basket.

It is a chair. The laundry basket is in the closet. I've seen you use it before. But look.....

there is a laundry basket waiting to go downstairs! Fancy that. Oh, and that basket under the window...how hard would it be to throw your shoes in there? By the way is it really necessary to have 3 pairs of hiking boots?

Brandy,


yes, you. Why are you eating socks again? Isn't that a little puppyish? I know, I know, why are the kids leaving their socks all over the place for you to eat them? If I told them once I've told them a thousand times...blah, blah, blah. Please stop eating socks, for me. Ok?

Kids,

See the picture above? In the upper left hand corner you can see parts of the Sorry game. Why is it out? You know I'm going to throw it away, don't you? I've been ignorning it for a week now. I guess your father has also. I'm not sure why Brandy hasn't eaten the portions of the Sorry game. Maybe she has. Maybe YOUR socks have made her not not hungry for little plastic things and cardboard this week. I have a feeling she may have eaten the yellow person thing-a-ma-jig though. The blue and green thing-a-ma-jigs are in the boys room. Why is that? Really, why?

Love,

your wife, the lady who tells you that you stink and gives you baths and treats, and your mom.

answered

This is why there are no pictures of me with the kids.

Tuesday

Tuesday is the day I realize it is painful to get out of bed.

Tuesday is the day I realize I can't walk down the stairs with my toes facing forward.

Tuesday is the day I realize I can only walk down or up the stairs going sideways.

Tuesday is the day that I still go power-walking at 6:30 in the morning, but don't put as much power into it. Forget the running portion, it's not happening.

Tuesday is the day I take 1,600 mg of Ibuprofen by 10:30 in the morning to combat the pain of my hamstrings. I'm still wondering if it is working.

Tuesday is the day I decide I am still going to work my upper body even though my lower body is broken.

Tuesday is the day I realize my legs aren't as strong as I believed them to be.

Tuesday is the day I realize my legs will be stronger by next Tuesday.

Wednesday is the day I hope to repeat the class (FIT) that put me into this position. I know the exercises will be different. Please, please be all about the quads or any other portion of my body.

Oh, visceral fat....you bastard

I've been researching visceral fat. Visceral fat is my shoe box like fat I carry on my midsection. I finally found the tape measure (underneath a dresser in the boy's room) and measured my waist. It's not pretty. It's actually quite ugly. 35.5" inches. In layman's terms my midsection is obese. I measured my hips since I had my clothes off and they are 36". I seem to be a body-type freak.

On the bright side I did lose another 2lbs. Well the scale showed a loss on Sunday. For all I know I could be 2lbs heavier today.

Worked my butt off in a "Fit" class. Burpees, jumping lunges (each leg) and broad jumps for reps of 10 each down to 1. I got to 4 each and felt the muscles in my legs giving out so I ended the routine with stretches. Thankfully I wasn't the only one who quit early.

Food is good. Exercise is good. Life is actually good. I'm thinking of taking my zoloft down a level. I feel that good. Even with my visceral fat being in a bad zone...I'm feeling quite fine.

My daughter will never wear this shirt as long as I'm alive.



I see her little friends wearing it. Seriously, when you see that shirt what is the first thing that comes to mind? Could it be BITCH? That is what comes to my mind. I really hate this shirt. Maybe it's more of I don't want my daughter to get caught up in labels. I don't, but I have no problem with her wearing an shirt that says Abercrombie. I wish she would get that this company's sweat shop is probably right next the Kohls and Target's department store sweat shop.

No!

Two posts in one day. I just got an email to save the date for a family reunion. What the fuck people. They (husband's family) have a fucking reunion every fucking year. You know what I do at the family reunion? I sit in the house and watch fucking baseball. I don't even like baseball. Let me backtrack...I like baseball now because the Phillies are in the race for the pennant. (is that what it's called? ...Whatever World Series) I don't go outside because usually the day of the reunion is 100% humidity and direct sunlight (remember I am a vampire) I don't feel like hearing about the "old times". I don't care about the old times. I don't know half the people there. I end up yucking it up with my nieces and nephews (who are the only fun ones there because they are all in their 20s)

You know what. I'm not going. So there!

Life

I am unemployed. I have a lot of time on my hands and no money. That's my life. In my free time I volunteer, work-out, move furniture, move large carpets, stare at the walls in my den and think of what I can hang on the 1970's wood paneling to hide the 1970's paneling. For your information my husband has an obsession with having 1970's wood paneling. He wears lots of plaid and wrangler jeans too. He has issues with dorkitude.

My new obsession is creating a craft area in the basement playroom. This area will house all the crap we can never find in the house. Otherwise known as the crap that is in every room in our house (even the bathroom) Things like; tape, scissors, paper, crayons, markers, pencils, pens, hole punchers, string, beads, post-it's, etc. By the way...i'm not crafty. I just want to be able to not answer the following questions:
1. where is the tape
2. where are the scissors
3. where are the crayons........................... I think you get my drift. Usually I say things like "go in the dining room and look under the boyscout manual, which is under so-and so's permission slip, under the ream of paper the school sent home because I'm suppose to have time to read it, but never will"

I wish my husband would help with my project. I refuse to nag him. It's easier just to do it. Less fights too. He doesn't see my vision. I can't say I blame him. I don't have a clear vision. I think he wants me to get a full-time job (for much needed money) and so I stop rearranging furniture all the time. Even my kids think I'm a bit of a wack job. I think the latter is in the mom job description manual. I'm all about the rules.

letters to the family

Dad,

There is this thing called a plate. You put your toast on it, THEN cut it and eat off THE plate. Also, I really don't care about Bank of America dividends.

Tommy and David,

We have had this conversation 1,000th's of times. You don't wear jeans ONCE and then expect me to wash them. You wear your jeans 20x THEN I wash them. Be a little more like your mom. It really pissed me off when I came in your room and saw this...........

You do realize that laundry basket was empty on SUNDAY! I'm going to start charging each of you 25 cents when I find unworthy jeans in the laundry basket.

Julia,

You tell your teacher YOU forgot your homework because your house is messy. Listen sister, you have papers strewn throughout the house. In the living room, kitchen, dining room and den. I've already recycled your homework once please learn your lesson and keep everything in one place. Also I'm sick of those little, strange, big headed girls you draw. Why must each one be cut into a little square. I threw them out. Whoops.

Felix,

You are a cat. Not a dog.



Joe,

The dryer IS NOT YOUR CLOTHES drawer. You do realize that it would be easier on you to put dry clothes in your bedroom rather then coming downstairs to get clean clothes. Oh and please clean out the cars. Example, when you take the dog on training runs in the creek, remove all the camoflauge thing-a-ma-jigs out of my car. There is a seat cushin and big-ass waders in there. My car smells like wet feet, wet dog and I think ass.

A box

I've been checking out my stomach. Actually I'm obsessed with the fat that is there. It's a strange fat. I don't have fat all around my mid-section. It seems to me that I have an adult shoe box within my stomach cavity. It's a square looking fat. I also have a rather large belly button. You can see said belly button through my wicky wear. The fat is pliable when sitting down. Standing up it looses it's pliability. I'm pretty firm underneath my breasts. Not so much in the area of the large belly button. Hmmm.

I am developing a stronger core. Not that it helps with the shoe sized box of fat. I seem to be the only one in the gym with this shoe box fat. (there are some with the tire of fat) I really don't care too much anymore. Maybe I look pregnant. Probably do.

I quit the scale. I really did. It's pointless. It pisses me off too much. Yesterday I did a kick-ass lower body workout with a killer old-school stairmaster routine. I know the scale would show a 2lb gain from a muscle gain. I don't need to see it in black and white.

A normal Monday

My youngest son (age 5) get's off the school bus all excited.

David: "mommy, mommy I got the funniest book at the library today. It's hysterical"
Mom: "that's great!"
David: "mommy, it is soooo funny you have to see it!"

I start to open his backpack. (at this point he's practically jumping up and down he's so excited about this funny book)

This is the book.

It could of been worse. "The Story of the Holocaust" could of been in his backpack.

Seriously

I have been sick for close to three weeks. (side note: I finally went to the doctor and received antibiotics and cough medicine for the bacterial infection and touch of bronchitis I had....I am feeling much better!) Ok so for at least the past one (1) week I haven't had much solid food. I've been living on green tea with lemon, a protein shake (or 2) a day and saltines. Friday, I finally had some egg salad, whole wheat toast, a cookie, turkey chilli and half a brownie. This morning before I go to the gym I decide to weigh myself. I haven't lost one fucking pound! What is up with that? I didn't expect to see a 5lb loss or anything that drastic, but a 2lb loss would of been nice. Let's not even get into the bowel movement I had this morning from having real food 24 hours earlier.

Well at least I'm pissed off. I see a serious workout in the next hour.

The biggest of them all

I love my father. I really do. He is great to us. He sits our children for free, watched our children when I was working part-time, then full-time, cuts our grass and is always trying to fix things with caulk. He is great and I don't know how I would of done it without him.

Thing is ...... he is at our home every, singe day. Every. Single. Day. Why? The children are all in school and I am unemployed. I am never in our house alone. Never. Ever. Him being here every, single day is my biggest bitch. I just want one day in this house by myself. To do what? I don't know, watch bad T.V., clean, pick my nose I just want to sit in the den and do something, nothing, whatever. At this point every thing pisses me off. He wears his hiking boots and dirties up my floor. If he isn't wearing them he's walking bare foot in my house. (seriously he can't win) He sits in our den and watches MSNBC until the kids come home. (you see why I'm depressed)

He thinks the internet is a magical being where I can find all pieces of weird information. I had to search for the size of his polyp in his colon and find how rare that size was. All I could find were medical journals that made no sense.

When I come home from working out, or volunteering I usually can learn: some obscure story that was in the NYTimes, what some idiot politician said on MSNBC, that "you people" (me and joe) have not bought, are out of or misplaced, his latest bill for surgery and what medicaid/medicare has paid out for said surgery.

He is in the den right now reading the paper and watching MSNBC. Did you know that we can't watch TV in this house on Sundays? He tapes every political talk show known to man. With a DVR you can tape two shows at a time, but you must watch one of them. We have been yelled at for watching tv on a Sunday. God forbid he missed something on Meet the Press.

He gets really upset when the mailman is late. He use to open our mail (by mistake he claims). I don't have our mail sent to our home anymore. It's all online.

He will sit here until the kids get off the bus. Then he will leave. If Joe takes the all the children on a hike or to play in the creek with the dog my dad will be here within 5 minutes of leaving. In all honesty I asked my husband if I was on suicide watch. (this is when I lost my job and was extremely upset) None of this pisses Joe off. Joe is cool. Speaking of Joe, once my father left (it was Saturday afternoon) so we decided to have a bit of "afternoon delight". Thank God we were not loud. (at least I don't think we were) We were almost finished and I heard someone downstairs. Yep, you guessed it...my dad. He drove to the bank, because the mailman was late.

Fucking mailman.

I started this blog to track my dieting and running. During that time I discovered I was pretty good at running. I became obsessed with all things running. Every 5k I got better. I ran a half marathon in a decent time (considering the course wasn't flat). Then I became injured and kind of slacked on my running. I still love running, I just don't have a competitive desire in it. I don't need to prove myself and better myself every time I go out. I run a slow pace and sometimes a fast pace. Running doesn't rule my life anymore.

I feel that I'm fake on this blog. I'm done with it. I'm going to blog about other things. The mundane, my musings, things that piss me off, idiots I meet, things my kids do, my vents...you get the drift. I will still blog about diet and exercise too, just not so much. I'm not going to abbreviate swear words anymore. No more "f" or sh*t. I have a potty mouth in real life. When my friend and I walk/run sometimes it's "fuck this, fuck that, fuck that shit, that fucker", I hate that bitch", and so on. That's me and my friends. My friends are professionals in the work place (very high-ups) we aren't ignorant. It's just the way we sometimes talk and well, I'm not going to act like I don't do that.

I'm going to complain and vent. I'm not going to be politically correct. If offend someone, sorry. No need to come back. I'm going to brag about my kids. I'll probably bitch about them too. Same goes with my husband. Ditto on the neighbors.

Be forwarned :0 !

New Category

Inane Question:

Pronunciation: \i-ˈnān\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin inanis
Date: 1662
1 : empty, insubstantial
2 : lacking significance, meaning, or point : silly

Question. Do Mexican's talk really fast or does it just seem that way because I have no idea what they are saying?

eh

I'm starting to feel better. Now it's more of a sinus headace (all the time) I'm having a bit of sleep deprivation which is not good (for the losing of belly fat...of course it isn't).

I've discovered nasal rinsing. Which is taking 8 ounces of distilled water, mixing in a solution and shoving it up one nostril and waiting for it to come out the other without holding your breath. Honestly, it's the greatest thing ever.

This weekend I lived on green tea with honey and lemon. I threw in some pasta with broccoli rabe and treated myself to a little Ben & Jerry's.

Good workout this am. With the exception of the muscle ladies on my stair master. I shouldn't bitch, they are the reason I started using the machine in the first place. I was forced to do sprints on the broken (no heartrate and the incline was messed up) treadmill.

Issues

Yesterday I layed around all day with my illness. Learned that I've been taking the wrong medicine. Got the right medicine. Layed around more, then went bra shopping for my ten year old. Almost passed out under the hot store lights.

This morning I got on the scale and saw that I had dropped a pound. Usually I would be estatic and weigh myself 2 more times just to make sure. I decided that I had lost a pound of muscle and not fat. I went to the gym and did lower body lifting and a lower body ab workout.(35 minutes) All the time coughing and on the way home I destroyed two tissues with snot. This is where I have issues. Though, I didn't do an upper body workout because I knew I didn't have the strength. I realized my limitations.

Today I have taken the following: sudafed, mucinex-d, a multi-vitamin, synthroid (hypothyroidism), an anxiety med, three (3) acyclovir. The last is for the cold sore I am now getting. Life is grand {snark} I also took a treximet for the headace I was getting. Treximet is for my migraines, not sinus infections, but the headace seemed to be moving in migraine territory so what the hell, what is one more pill these days.

I have had about 6 cups of green tea with lemon and honey. I have drank two bottles of Vitamin Water (which is a faith that it works wonders because I NEVER buy bottled water) and two large glasses a tap water.

I have eaten a protein shake and egg whites with whole wheat toast. I had an oreo cookie too. (it was just there begging to be eaten).

I put make-up on so as to not scare the parents of my daughter's playdate. I ended up passed out upstairs (trying to stave off the migraine/headace) and my husband took the host role. He thought he would be "ha-ha" funny answering the door with a beer in hand. (he didn't)

I'm going to the doctor's on Monday (which I should of done on Friday) if I am still sick. My husband is sick also, just not a severe as I am. I found a dayquill box in my car the other day. I wonder where the medicine is?

I think I'll have another glass of green tea.

Emails

I'm gong to start posting emails that I send to friends and family. They seem to crack those people up. (e.g. I sent one to my husband once and he forwarded it to everyone at work. I didn't think is was THAT funny. I would of made it more hysterical if I knew I had an audience. This isn't that funny either, but my friend cracked up over it. ________________________________________
Dear K,
I meant to tell you something this morning. I know you are perturbed (tr.v. per•turbed, per•turb•ing, per•turbs
1. To disturb greatly; make uneasy or anxious.
2. To throw into great confusion.
3. Physics & Astronomy To cause perturbation, as of a celestial orbit.

[Middle English perturben, from Old French perturber, from Latin perturb re : per-, per- + turb re, to throw into disorder (from turba, confusion, perhaps from Greek turb ).]
about my half n half consumpution along with my love of mayonaise. I have cut my coffee consumption by over 70%. I've been drinking tons of tea lately. No dairy!! Now since I'm sick I put some honey in it. Yes, yes, lots of calories, but it is still good for the body (b vitamins) Regarding the mayonaise. I can't eat an egg-salad sandwich without it. I eat the former about 2x a week. Dry egg on bread gives you yellow teeth also. I take too many pills to add your vitamins more to the mix. (even though I think I take less than you on a normal basis) Maybe I've been sick so long is because I don't take vitamins.

I hope this helps with your perturbitude.

My stomach muscles are killing me too. I felt like an idiot on that ball today. I had to prove I wasn't a total dork to myself so I ran sprints on the treadmill. Wherein I hacked up a lung. I cleaned it up according to YMCA standards.

m

Still sick

and I'm still exercising. I figured taking the past weekend off did NOT help at all so "f" it. I'm on Mucinex-D and Benadryl. With those I can still workout.

I added abs to my routine. I probably looked pretty pathetic in the gym today using that big-assed ball. One exercise I did 2 sets of 5. I have no ab muscles to speak of. I do have a rather large, visceral, fat stomach though. It looks wonderful in wicky wear. At this point I really don't care as long as the wicky wear covers it. Yesterday I had to put a t-shirt over my wicky because the shirt kept creeping up. I have rather large (D) boobs also. They should drop to a C after I lose 10 lbs.

My rb#1 is unhappy with the cream in my coffee and mayo in my egg salad. I've cut my coffee intake by 60% and I like mayo. She thinks I should drop all fat and take supplements. I'm not a fan of the pills. Maybe that's why I have a cold because I don't take vitamins. I guess I'll add vitamins to my shopping list. It can't hurt. I'm also going the low-sodium V-8 route. I don't get 5 servings of veggies a day.

My body feels tighter. The scale showed a 2lb loss yesterday. Which means 4lbs lost in September. I'm happy with that because my jeans don't feel tight, though my body does. I know I am building good muscle. I'm working out 5x a week and sometimes 2x a day. (morning powerwalk/run , weight lifting and some light cardio in the afternoon)

I'm debating a Sprint Tri. I found a bike I can borrow. The 5k portion will be a piece of cake. I just have to get the swimming portion down pat. Thankfully I did competitive swimming for over 10 years so I have the structue down. I just need to build up the endurance.